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Grape Isn't Funny

Nope, there is nothing funny about Grape. Not Grape Jokes, Not Grape Fetishes, Not even Grapists. But I'd be lying if I didn't get a chuckle or two from this video about a renegade grapist who's only goal is to tie chi…
People Over The Age Of 26 Are Old And Boring

I have a friend who both hates and is terrified of old people. This particular friend is from Houston, Texas. Once when he was visiting Chicago, my brothers and I took him to Old Country Buffet. Apparently, they don't…
Sneaky Hotness

I imagine that many of you saw this Summer's runaway smash comedy, The Hangover. Which features Zach Galifinakis in a role that is a triumph for slightly overweight bearded folks everywhere. There is hope fellas, jus…
Animal House is The Greatest Movie Ever

I just don't know where to start. I guess like always, I'll start with Wikipedia.When writing or editing an article for Wikipedia, it is urged that the writer avoid using "peacock terms." Peacock terms are words like…
Gratuitous Movie Boobage

If you're a man, and you are anything like me, you managed to see your very first pair of boobs on a television set, no doubt while watching a movie that was way to old for you. I still remember mine. It was during…
Want to Look Like A Badass? Try Crystal Meth...

"Your Face on Meth"(Source) Well, here's an idea that backfired. Mendecino Country Sherrif Tom Allman had seen too many young people's lives ruined by the ravages of methamphetamines. He was was determined to do somet…
Finally, Justification For My Diet

(Source) I work at a bakery in New York City. This Bakery specializes in chocolate chip cookies, which I would argue are maybe the best chocolate chip cookies I've ever had in my entire life. When I get to work in the…
U.S. Government: Keepin' These Mothaf**kin' Snakes Off Our Mothaf**kin' Planes

(Source) Man, is that a good headline or what? Being a guy who writes on the Internet, any chance I have to make a Snakes on A Plane reference is like a dream come true. Samuel L. Jackson, plus snakes, plus planes, e…
F**k Brett Favre in the Ear

( Source) It is with a heavy heart that I write this post about Brett Favre. My beloved Chicago Bears spent the duration of the NFL season totally fucking sucking, and then sulking about it on the sidelines (Jay Cu…
Kermit the Frog: Domestic Terrorist

(Source) This week in, "Lighten Up America, It's just a F**king Duffel Bag"; authorities in Lafayette, Colorado apprehended a man allegedly responsible for an attempted bombing of a charter school. The perpetrator wa…