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Satan Makes Baby Carrying Fleece, Society Weeps

What?!? No, uh-uh. This isn't going to fly. I thought I got my point across when I first got here and explained that I was officially classifying the Snuggie as a war crime. What the fuck is this thing? Apparently so…
The Expendables Will Be The Manliest, Bestest, Awesomest Movie of All Time!

There's a movie coming out in the year 2010, THAT'S GOING TO BLOW YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MIND. It's not just going to blow your mind, it's gonna stab it, strangle it, pummel it, fire a mortar at it, take a chainsaw to it…
He's Going To Be Hitler! Let's Use a Condom!

Man, those Europeans have all the luck when it comes to advertisements, don't they? They have companies willing to say completely un-politic things because they're hilarious. I mentioned this previously when it come…
Company Creates Iron Man Suit, Dooms All Human Life

Damn you, scientists! Why must you constantly tempt fate? Have the lessons of all the science fiction novels, television shows, and movies of the past 30 years been lost on you? I mean, have you SEEN The Matrix? I th…
The Hipster Olympics

Yes, its shamelessly ripping off a python sketch, but they admit it so its okay. It's also hilarious. So, that helps. Now, I present to you, the Hipster Olympics: What other events should have been included?
Anti-Gay Marriage Organization Trolls Craigslist for Gay Sex

Hey everybody, look out! There's a brand new anti-gay marriage organization out there called the National Organization for Marriage, or NOM. It should already be clear to you that these people have never heard of the…
60 Foot Phallus Terrorizes House

And with that, an 18 year old boy from Berkshire has become my hero. Yes, may the sun never set on the British Empire or its giant 60 foot wangs. So, the story here, is that a young gentleman of the age of 18 one day…
Somebody Please Stop Fast And Furious

This past weekend a movie called Fast and Furious was released and it made roughly $70 million. How is this possible? The only conceivable draw is that the two leads from the original were back, but all that means is…
Top 10 Reasons Why We Should All Try To Forget The 80's Ever Happened

' Now for all of you too young to remember, there was once a time called the 1980's. This was a time filled with bright, neon colors, way too much mousse, lots and lots of crack, and AIDS as far as the eye could see. D…
ShamWow Guy Arrested For Beating Hooker!

Hooooooooooooly crap. Thank you, Smoking Gun. That's right, that's the mugshot of Vince Shlomi, better known to you as the ShamWow Guy.