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Guidocalypse Now

Warning: The above video is not intended for anyone with eyes, ears, or any positive regard for life. Awhile back, I prophesied the Guido Apocalypse of 2055, outlining in detail how humanity could prevent devolving in…
Pictures of Incredible Manliness

It takes a big man to wear pink, and an even bigger man to give kids nightmares that the tooth fairy reaching under their pillow is actually a 400 pound Everquest addicted kid toucher. The incredible manliness of thi…
Susan Boyle Hysteria - Why?

American Idol does a lot of things, most of which includes giving me headaches and the occasional sense that a man is invading my butt whenever Ryan Seacrest speaks. As much as I enjoy watching an angry Brit with no…
Ladies, Your Dog Is Not An Effing Toy!

The other day I flipped to Animal Planet in hopes that there would be a show about men fighting bears, hippos eating men, or bears riding on the backs of hippos fighting dragons. What I got was a kick square in the ju…
Is Too Much Cleavage Unsexy?

Since the beginning of time, boobs have been the catalyst for many of history’s most heated conflicts. They started the Trojan War, played a role in the Star Wars, and had President Bush ever drowned in a nice pair…
The Top 5 Myths About Men

It’s tough being a man.We have to deal with terribly difficult decisions involving the proper time to fart, which friend we should put on Craigslist or sell on eBay, and whether or not the third date is an appropriate…
Monday's Badass Chronicles: King Bowser

An arrogant, egotistical dragon-turtle with spikes on his back, Bowser hates Italians so much that his sole purpose in life is to steal their women. Whether this makes him an extreme badass, or extreme cockblocking as…
3 Simple Ways To End An Argument With Your Lady

It's the fourth time that your girlfriend caught you watching pr0n on your iPhone during dinner with her parents. Trying to turn the phone off, you accidentally turn the volume on, leaving Mom and Dad with the symph…
Badass Chronicles: Omar Little (The Wire)

In case you haven't seen the most critically acclaimed TV show of all time, The Wire, Omar Little is a combination of Robin Hood, Charlton Heston, and a big barrel of balls. He wears a trench coat, he wields a shotgu…
How To Get a Date on Craigslist

Legal prostitution, or Craigslist, can be a very successful entry to dating if you know the proper technique of writing a personals ad. The competition against other horny dudes can be vicious, but I can show you t…