mancouch's Mancouch

Mancouch Now On Hiatus

Thu, 10 Mar 2011 13:00:00 GMT

To my fellow Couch Army soldiers,

There comes a time in the life of every couch when it realizes that the years of being sat upon by asses large, small, stinky and misshapen have taken their toll on the upholstery. Yet even while the massive cheek imprints frighten us with their depth, one can only stand in awe of the many great moments had on it, and look forward to a future of firm, sexy cushions once again.

Now that I'm finished with the unnecessarily cheesy metaphor: Mancouch is going on hiatus. So, for the time being at least, you will no longer see new material on the main page. More Here...

Words from the 80's and 90's that should be brought back!

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 18:30:00 GMT

I was having a conversation with my friend Luke the other day about a past post that I had written about women who don’t shave underneath their armpits, and from there we started conversing about shaving private parts. Luke said “I can’t stand when a women doesn’t shave her coochie”. I looked at him and starting laughing uncontrollably and said “I haven’t heard anyone say coochie in forever”(I think I‘m spelling that right). He started laughing too, and said “I should bring that word back," and that segwayed into a conversation about words or phrases that people didn’t really use anymore that could use a serious comeback.

Some of these I still say myself, and I think you’ll find that you and your friends may still use some of them as well. Click here for my list of words that I’d like to see make a comeback.

Heavy Traces of Christ's Body Found in Dog's Fecal Matter

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 16:30:00 GMT

VENICE, ITALY - Catholics around the world are up in arms after the fecal waste of soon-to-be Bishop Giuseppi Pellegrini's 13 month old Yorkshire Terrier was tested, and turned out to be composed of "73% the body of christ," according to the official report filed by the Venetian Veterinary Vanguard, or VVV.

Pellegrini, who just a few weeks ago was appointed to be the Bishop of Concordia-Pordenone after serving for nearly 32 years as a Priest of Verona, decided to take his Yorkie, named Sebastian, to the vet after the dog had recently began acting out. Apparently, Sebastian was starting to hump any dog he passed that was less than half his age and also a male. More Here...

Top 10 Awkward Family Photos: Part II: The Pet Edition

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 14:30:00 GMT

Two weeks ago, you witnessed the top 10 awkward family portraits. Some were cute in a sickening way, such as the Pooh Family. Others were just plain creepy, like the portrait with the son apparently getting ready to choke the crap out of his mother. Others had no words and this will again be the case with Part II: The Pet Edition.

A lot of families have pets, mine included, and if you own or have ever owned a pet, you know that they are basically part of your family. Pets do not discriminate (for the most part, my male boxer Tito is a little on the flamboyant side and prefers men) and it is because of this that these little rascals bring so much joy to their owners. They don't care how you look or what kind of day you had, they just want to love you and play with you when you get home.

The fact that they provide unconditional love may explain why some people become a little obsessive with their pets. Obsessive to the point that it becomes...awkward.

These aren't your average family portraits...they are the top 10 awkward family pet portraits.More Here...

Is Charlie Sheen a Martyr?

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 23:00:00 GMT

Will Charlie become a martyr if and when something happens to him?

The media, TV, news, and "celebrity" has created Charlie. He has nearly always protrayed himself on the large and small screen, because the people writing the checks made money to write the checks off the "characterization" he's played.

If he dies. Will the public finally draw the line after his death that we are fed up of losing our favorite celebrities because the powers that be make more money for their self-destruction and self-promotion? More Here...

Rapper Bizz Releases Prince Of Jersey 2.0

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 21:00:00 GMT

Raised in Bayonne, NJ, a town that is a hop, skip, and a jump from the hustle and bustle of New York City, Bizz the Prince chose to focus on music after his career as a basketball star ended prematurely. More About BIZZ Here...

Would You Rather...

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 18:30:00 GMT

I like hypothetical games. It's a good way to kill time until Friday, or until she's drunk enough to go home with you. Here are a few of my favorites.

The Finger Question - This one is simple, but always leads to thoughtful discussion. The question: how much money would you have to be paid to surgically remove one (1) finger of your choosing?

The parameters: the operation is professionally done, in a hospital; it's not a shoddy back-alley operation in South America. There's no risk of a botched surgery or any problems arising, and the finger is going to a good cause; maybe scientific research, or something.

You get to pick which finger it is, and you get one lump sum of cash. You're under anesthetic for the entire operation, so you don't feel anything; you simply wake up, and that finger is gone. Which finger, and how much?

Most people will start off with some ridiculous stance - "No way! It would have to be ten billion dollars for me to even think about it!" That's when you say, "So you wouldn't do it for a billion?" and watch as they shrug and reconsider. "I mean, I don't know..." More Here...

Origin of "Fat Tuesday"

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 15:00:00 GMT

Happy Fat Tuesday All! Over the weekend I went to this really awesome "Mardi Gras" party. Great beer,great food, great people! There were even gummy bears that had been soaked in Vokda for a week. I had no idea that gummy bears had plumped up to three times their regular size, and was definitely favored by everyone.

At the end of the night two guys chugged the rest of the spiked punch from the punch bowl (and yours truly has it all on video). I was reminiscing with my friend Vy over dinner last night about the party, and she reminded me that Fat Tuesday and Ash Wednesday were about to come up. From there we got into a discussion about how “Fat Tuesday" came about, as well as "Mardi Gras," and I’d like to share it with you.More Here about Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras...

Is Everything Jimmy Fallon Does Full Of 'Win'?

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 22:00:00 GMT

I remember the days when Jimmy Fallon was just a wee cast member on Saturday Night Live, doing his best not to lose his composure during sketches, and failing miserably. Of course, I still thought he was funny, but he's taken things to a whole new level.

His impressions are impeccable. If you watch the video above, you'll see him channel Charlie Sheen flawlessly, taking all Charlie's antics and turning them into what they, in actuality, already are: a really freaky ad campaign.

After the break, you'll see him take a folk rock approach to one of the most annoying songs in existence. More Here...

575-Lb. Spokesman for Heart Attack Grill Dies in Predictable Ending

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 19:00:00 GMT

This is a guest post from Just A Guy Thing.

The Heart Attack Grill, a diner in Chandler, AZ lost its 6'8", 575-pound spokesman when Blair River died at the age of 29. For those not familiar with the concept, the Heart Attack Grill serves some of the most unhealthy and bountiful food in the US under teh guise of being a tongue-in-cheek diet center. The waitresses dress as slutty nurses, and patrons that tip the scales at over 350 lbs eat for free. More Here...