Wednesday, 16 February 2011
-
Exes and The Marks They Leave
Not to get overly sentimental, but our ex girlfriends do leave several traces behind after the relationship is no more. Whether you like it or not, and whether the split was your doing or her's, an ex-girlfriend's presence lingers like the taste of a chocolate cake-flavored burp. Or like the smell of a dead skunk on the side of the road. Wow, that was pretty grotesque, what I meant to say was it never really goes away. Although a bath in tomato juice would take care of the skunk, so that doesn't really make sense. Well, you get what I'm trying to say.
These traces are sometimes quite obvious. Pictures, notes, sentimental memories and whatnot can make you reflect whenever you catch a glance.
There's also gifts from that ex. My last girlfriend was a fashion major. I wore gym shorts to class every day, weather permitting of course. Needless to say she bought me lots of clothes. And of course I'm not going to throw them out; they are perfectly good clothes that make my ass look day-ummmm fine and really bring out the color of my eyes.
But, even more prevalent than these obvious examples are the little things. The subtle reminders of the way that person changed your life in ways you never really thought about. For example, I now use the same body wash and lotion that my ex did. And I always wrap my pint of ice cream in a paper towel, keeping my hands shielded from the cold and condensation. A few of the TV shows I now watch were introduced to me by my ex, and so on.
It could be as simple as an abbreviation from text messages, a sports team that you root for, or a shirt that you like to wear out because she told you that you look good in it.
I'm not trying to come off as a downer here. I think we should embrace this, and all the positive things these individuals have brought into our lives. If you think about it, life is all about interacting with and learning from your environment, so you should try to pick up something from every person you meet.
What aspects of your life still express your ex's influence? Do you view these as unfriendly reminders that should be repressed? A nostalgic shining of a good time in life? Or are you indifferent altogether?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to mancouch's Mancouch Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in mancouch's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: bdel008
- Name: bdel008
- Location: South Brunswick, New Jersey, United States
- About Me: I'm extremely self-conscious about my narcissism...
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 37 Views: 0 91333 Comments: 0 966 View all posts by bdel008
Comments (70)
My ex taught me the meaning of taking things seriously in school. And it has given me good consideration into my studies.
My ex had a big thing with physics, so to try and impress him (while we were still together) I got involved in physics courses! I hated it in the beginning, and then we broke up, but I was still stuck with physics, and it wasn't all that bad, I'll take more courses in it again!
hmm,,gave me great lessons on how to casually sit through an abortion...
nice post!
the mark my ex left was pretty profound. i now have a lot more self confidence and can actually carry on a conversation with a guy without feeling like i have to agree with him all the time. that can't be bought.
oh, i also picked up some text abbreviations & a couple slang words from him. meh.
My ex made me feel like NOTHING I did would EVER make her happy. One time we were talking on the phone and she said that if she were with a woman she would be happier because she would know what she likes. I wanted to tell her that if that's the case then go ahead and go lezbo (I did NOT tell her this).
For reasons unknown, I tend to attract men who like to cook. So I have a collection of yummy recipes from my ex's. I wish them the best and I'm thankful of the valuable lessons I've learned from them. :)
my ex cheated on me and made me feel that no guy is capable of a relationship without sex, and, thus, that it's not even worth the relationship part.
My ex used to call her rabbit because of a lined hoodie I wore, she said it was soft and I said it was like rabbit fur so it became an inside thing we enjoyed. I still have a magazine page she gave me of white rabbits in a field on my wall. I wear that hoodie all the time too. She also used to check every glass she drank out of, a habit which I adopted.
Her greatest contribution though would probably be that she made me more confident and impulsive.
If I notice those kinds of things it's bittersweet, but most of the time I just don't notice because they've become so embedded into my daily life that to have them removed would be more traumatic than anything.
i definitely can't look at lucky charms in the cereal aisle. lol. how lame.
I recently did an art piece on this exact subject. The human body with human hands folded up the back to create the spine, showing that the backbone of who we are is made up of who we meet, with other random things representing individuality etc etc etc. Point is, you're absolutely right, there's no way to avoid it. I'm so many people right now.
@JaydenWolf@xanga - that sounds interesting, i'd like to take a look at it, is it available anywhere online?
I definitely picked up some gamer slang, a random interest in some comics, as well as zombie movies. He also introduced me to South Park, which I am absolutely in love with now. Ironically, our breaking up and being just friends has helped me be a bit more confident at relationships.
The only thing my ex left me with is paranoia. Kinda hard to trust guys after him -.-
I eat more rice. I also value differences a lot more. But I'm not over him, and probably won't be for a few years, so maybe it will change.
mine completely changed my life. for the better. i feel so much more intune with myself. i feel softer. but stronger. he taught me how precious my time is, to make my goals a strong priority, and to do what i want to do and what will benefit me. he inspired me, sparked my existing fires even more-- for different topics. he was my gateway to the things i was passionate about and deeply interested in. i got into meditation, and lots of other stuff. and i know a lot might not of been possible, without being exposed to him. he was like a dream, and everything i needed to get where i am today
his compassion and awareness and sense of humor were completely indispensible. i never knew anyone who could keep up with me in all areas. he could do that.-- its good knowing someone else like that exists.. sometimes you just need that
sometimes, I feel like everything reminds me of him. once when I was at the gym, a song started playing that sounded familiar and I realized he had used it as a background in a youtube video he made. he never gave me any letters or cards or anything of the sort, but stuff like songs, feelings, jokes, vocabulary words (lol), and other deeper things remind me of him. I even feel like his feelings/opinions about some things rubbed off on me.
it makes me sad or angry occasionally, but for the most part I'm pretty accepting of it. maybe one day I'll make new memories with somebody else. it's just how life works :)
My first ex taught me to be more openminded and to value others in opinion, self, etc. My second ex taught me to not take things to seriously and to laugh more. My recent ex, well, made me feel like I couldn't do anything right, that it was never good enough and that my opinion was always wrong. Which is why I probably don't talk to her anymore and why she doesn't talk to me.
My second ex was Mexican and from the time I spent with him and his family I will forever have a soft place in my heart for Mexican food, culture, music, and people. We dated for two years, so I picked up a lot of Spanish. Basically the only good thing I got out of my relationship with him.
My third ex was Peruvian and I learned soooo much from him about heartbreak and what it really means to take control of your own life. Of course this was AFTER we we broke up. But, I learned a good amount about Peruvian culture and the food is really amazing. And
However, these things have no emphasis on my life and I don't attribute my fondness for Mexican culture to my ex or anything of the sort.
i still use the espresso machine my ex got me, every morning. i can't stand to think of the douche but i'll gladly continue to brew myself delicious coffee.
My ex taught me to let my inhibitions go sometimes, believe that Im beautiful (even if Im not beautiful enough for him), and if I want to do something, get off my ass and do it for myself, not anyone else.
My first ex made me feel more self-conscious and ugly about myself when he put down my looks and was ashamed of me by not admitting to dating me and always keeping our relationship underground. However, my second ex erased that fear by telling me how beautiful he thinks I am and never once put my physical appearance down, he also showed me off to the world like he was proud of me. On the other hand, he made me feel like there's something wrong with me because he cheated on me with some girl that tbh isn't that great.. she's a random girl he stalked and picked up online, his family and friends don't like her but they really liked me. I've lost trust, security and faith in relationships after him and I'm working to gain it back but it's difficult because I'm not over him yet. I know I left something behind with both jerks too.
my five hundred dollar camera& my awesome double bubbler that asshole took!, and knowing now what a good man i have because of the shitty one my ex was.
he was so awful now i know what a wonderful and freakin' amazing guy i have now.
Nice post.
Damn reading everyone's message makes me feel nostalgic and bittersweet.
What I out of my last relationship was a couple lessons.
I learn how gullible I was, I learn how easy I was, I learn not to wear my heart on my sleeves, I learn how manipulative a girl can be. Most I'm importantly I learn that I'm better than what she made me out to be.
She gave me the pain and fire for me to grow and change for the better. And honestly I kinda have to say thank you, if it won't for the pain and heartache, i'll probably be the same guy.
@JaydenWolf@xanga - I like that. Care to show it on your blog sometime? I'd like to see that, too.