Thursday, 10 February 2011

• Mario Kart Got Me Through College or: How to Play the Best Drinking Game Ever Made

  

  Mario Kart was the perfect dorm room game; everyone loves it and remembers it from their childhood, it's fun even if you suck, and you can make it into a drinking game.  Freshman year, the few rooms that had a Nintendo, Mario Kart, and four controllers were always the rooms where the cool kids hung out.

   

  

  Let's be clear: I'm talking about the REAL Mario Kart, for Nintendo 64.  None of this Wii bullshit.  (And yes, I'm aware that there was a Super Nintendo Mario Kart before N64, but that one was pretty lame, too).

  
  Most nights, sometime in between struggling through the barely edible dining hall food and pretending to study (but instead watching stupid videos on youtube) in our floor's study lounge, we'd retire to someone's room, discretely break the law, and blow off some steam by nailing each other with koopa shells, red and green.
  
   

  Also, we would often make trips back to the room after eating lunch to play a few rounds before our early afternoon classes.  Most of the time we ended up skipping those classes.

  We were young and carefree, and life was full of possibilities.  But we ignored most of them when it was time for the final lap on Toad's Turnpike, or when that bastard who played his music too loud was down to his last balloon in the Block Fort.

  When we got sick of racing we battled, and when we got sick of battling we turned Mario Kart into a drinking game.

  It's called "Beer-i-o Kart" and it puts flip cup, beer pong, kings, and quarters to shame.

  The rules are simple.  Your objective is to finish a can of beer and complete three laps before your opponents do the same.  But, you cannot drink and drive, meaning that while you are sipping or chugging, your thumb must be off the accelerator.

  There's a few different ways to approach the game; "strategising" is very important, you see.  Some people like to start off by chugging their entire drink.  If you're a fast drinker, this can be quite effective.  Also, starting the race very far behind only means you'll be getting plenty of lightning bolts and star powers that will bring you back up to speed.

  Personally, I like to save the drinking for times when I am attacked or when I crash, and my car is stopped anyway.  Remember, efficiency is key to success in beer-i-o Kart.  And you never know when you'll be thrown off the course and have to wait for your car to be rescued from the abyss surrounding Rainbow Road.

  Anyway, try it out next time you and one or more of your buddies are hangin' out and looking for something to do.  If there are ladies around, try out strip beer-i-o Kart.

  What multiplayer video games do you find most enjoyable for communal/dorm living and social collegiate situations?  Have you created any fun drinking games for them?

  
  

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