Monday, 31 January 2011
WASHINGTON D.C. - On the heels of the recent decision to have the “n-word” removed from Mark Twain’s literary classic Huckleberry Finn and replaced with “slave” (because that is quite an improvement in status), representatives from the American Atheists have asked the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) and Congress to censor all instances of the word “god” in pr0nographic films.
The AA released this statement: "More and more Americans are converting to Atheism every day. The American Atheists are dedicated to protecting all practicing atheists from persecution, discrimination, or otherwise unfair treatment. Each time an atheist beats off, adult film stars' beliefs are being shoved down that atheist's throat, as a penis is shoved down theirs."
If the atheists get their way, it would mean no more “Oh GOD f#$% me harder!” or “GOD that is HUGE!”
Representatives of the adult film industry worry, however, that removal of the word “god” - extremely prevalent in pr0nographic films and a word carrying a quite powerful emotional connotation - could seriously compromise the artistic integrity of such classics as Black Poles/White Holes, Schindler's Fist, Saturday Night Beaver, and many others.
Interestingly, the Catholic Church has come out in support of America's pr0n industry in a baffling public statement by Pope Benedictine XVI. “The Catholic Church stands by the notion that God and the Holy Spirit are omnipotent and omnipresent. The spirit’s presence can be felt, and should be appreciated, in all locations, in all facets of life; including when that barely legal, curious teenager is getting pounded mercilessly by a ten-incher."
An FCC spokesperson told Mancouch, "The FCC takes disputes of this kind very seriously. We will carefully evaluate all the facts to make sure that our new policy is designed to spoil the most fun for everybody. More information will be known in the weeks to come, as additional details are uncovered"
The American Atheists have suggested a few possible replacements for the word "god," including "Darwin," "physics," "imaginary man in the sky," and "personification of the laws of nature that helps humans accept the weirdness of the natural order of things while still maintaining a false sense of importance and purpose."