Tuesday, 18 January 2011

• Indian Ocean to Become 'Brown Ocean?'

  

  NEW YORK, NY-A historic resolution was passed early Tuesday morning, the 18th of January, by the United Nations' Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, requesting the Indian Ocean be renamed the "Brown Ocean" due to concern over the message sent by having a Black Sea, White Sea, Yellow Sea, and Red Sea, and a perceived need for more cultural diversity reflected in international geographic designators.

  "We just feel that ALL the non-yellow people in Asia, not just the Indians, have a right to be represented internationally," said committee chairman Alvin Grady.  "The committee agrees that this is a step in the right direction."

  Not everyone is happy about the Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination's gesture, however.  A spokesperson for the International Organization on Behalf of Racial Discrimination called the injunction an "abuse of power," claiming that the international government has grown too big, and is now "trying to shove their non-racist agenda down the throats of the people, who clearly want none of it."

  While the Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination had intended for the decision to fall ceremoniously on Martin Luther King Jr. day, all committee members were enjoying the three-day weekend in Manhattan with their families.  So, the announcement was pushed back one day.  Still, Chairman Grady felt confident that the message was clear.

  "Dr. King wanted all men to be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.  We are thrilled to be doing our part in furthering that dream, and now ball is in the General Assembly's court."

  A person familiar with the Committee on the Elimination of Racial Discrimination's activities, who wished to remain anonymous, informed Mancouch that the committee is considering the issuance of a similar decree that would call for the Red Sea being renamed the "New White Sea."  The correspondent expects little resistance to the measure, as Native Americans have virtually no voice in the US Government, let alone in the UN.

  It remains unclear, however, when the General Assembly will find time to decide on the Indian Ocean's fate.  The GA has been at an impasse for weeks now, as representatives of the People's Republic of China are requesting all minutes be officially dated in 2010 until February 3, when the Chinese New Year will occur.  The PRC has not backed down, using their permanent seat on the Security Council - and the veto power that comes with that - to essentially filibuster the Security Council and blackmail the GA.

  Anyone interested can learn more about these and other developments on the UN's official website....but only if they speak one of the UN's six official languages (Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Russian, or Spanish).
  
  

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