Thursday, 13 January 2011
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7 Grievances of a Roadkiller
Have you ever murdered something with your car? Well, I was driving my car today, and a squirrel ran out into the road. I heard a resonant THUD as I continued on my way. Seeing as I had 2Pac blasting, I wasn't sure if I had killed it or not. I looked in my rearview and there was a dead squirrel in the road. I then entered the 7 stages of grief in approximately 1 minute of mental thought:
1) Shock and Denial: I was flabbergasted that I had killed an innocent animal. I actually believed that maybe the dead squirrel I saw was actually killed by someone else before me, and the one that ran in the road had escaped.
2) Pain and Guilt: I then began to feel immense pain for killing one of nature's most beloved children. I knew I had done it, and worried that other drivers would see the squirrel and know that I had killed it. I felt like a monster, why me?
3) Anger and Bargaining: WHY ME? If only I wasn't going so fast, if only 2Pac wasn't blasting, if only I swerved out of the way, Mr. Chestnuts (that’s what I named him) would have his life. It was 2Pac's fault! Not mine! If I never listen to 2Pac again, will you bring Mr. Chestnuts back to life?
4) Depression, Loneliness and Reflection: I began to feel cold, sitting in my car alone. I thought of Mr. Chestnut's family awaiting his return. I thought of what I had done to deserve this. I was in a maelstrom of sorrow, I should have been the one under the car, not Mr. Chestnuts. What kind of person listens to music and kills wildlife? That's how serial killers get their start. I wanted to call someone for support, but no one knew what it was like.
5) Upward Turn: I began to think of the glorious life of Mr. Chestnuts. He had a good one, and I began to place less blame on myself and my not-so-reckless driving. The sun began to shine just a little brighter.
6) Reconstruction: I planned for the future, and 2Pac was turned back to it's original volume. I took a deep breath.
7) Acceptance and Hope: I accepted the fact that I was a squirrel killer, but I knew it was only involuntary. I knew the future would be better, and I hoped Mr. Chestnut--wherever he is--forgives me.
R.I.P. Mr. Chestnuts 2010-2011Ever kill an animal with your car? Ever feel terrible about it the rest of the day?
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- From: mikeyjefferson
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Comments (10)
I make sure to exit my car and snap it's neck. Consider it a job well done.
I may have hit something on my way home from my boyfriend's house one night, but I'm still not 100% sure, because I was changing lanes and looking to make sure everything was clear when I heard a loud THUD. But it was dark and I couldn't really make anything out....
Another time I was driving down the highway and had a deer bolt in front of my car (thankfully I missed it), run over to the median, jump over the guardrail, and start running across the other side of the road before getting completely obliterated by a Honda Odyssey. It looked a lot like the picture above hahaha
each time I killa squirrel I put an acorn crossed out on my bumper.
I haven't killed an animal with my car, knowingly.. However, I did see a van get a squirrel right in front of me and it was pretty traumatic. He didn't die instantly... Poor thing... :'(
ROFL. I always feel terrible when I run over animals. Not that it happens frequently, but I've hit squirrels before...I live in a back woods neighborhood. I almost hit a dog once, but when I got out of my car it was magically gone. O.o
Entertaining post.
*Xanga's BatmanOut*
awww yeah the guy in front of me drove over it.... and then i did. it was still running around after we both hit it but i still have no idea what animal it was. maybe it was hideously disfigured but it was movin pretty damn fast for that!
Squirrels and other street wildlife are pains in the butt. I'd feel bad for killing a pet - a cat or a dog, but never a raccoon or a squirrel.
@Thumper49047@xanga - fantastic!
@SodomyClown@xanga - And you are a woman well respected. Nice to know you have the ovaries to properly put down a suffering aminal.
It happens. I used to have a pet rabbit and every once in awhile I would see a few laying on the road sprawled out in weird positions. It's life. If any animal were still alive after they've been run over I'd probably have to get out and snap it's neck. Fortunately in your case. Mr. Chestnuts most likely died instantly on impact. I remember one time we were driving back from this creek with my friends after airsofting. We were driving past the school there and coming over the hill there was a squirrel in the middle of the road running around in circles. Obviously it was dying and my friend Bryan who was in the passenger seat was like,
"Aww man that's not right"
My friend in his truck probably saw the squirrel since we saw his truck swerve over toward the inside part of the lane and it looked like he finally ran it over to put it out of it's misery. If you do hit an animal and it's not a busy road, if you feel that bad about it make sure it's dead. If it's not and you know how or feel comfortable with it, end it's misery.