Tuesday, 11 January 2011

• Top Songs for Doin' the "No Pants Dance" (aka SEX)

  

  Let's be honest.  Gettin' laid is (usually) awesome just because you're gettin' freakin' laid!  But, it's definitely fun to spice things up sometimes, and one of the easiest ways to do this is to pop on a set of handcuffs-er, wait - I mean some groovy tunes that provide the proper aesthetic and can help set the mood.  So, here's my list of songs that most appropriately accompany the bedroom escapades, in no particular order (actually, close to alphabetical order by artist, as I identified them from my iTunes library, but I digress).

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  "Crush," Dave Matthews Band, The Best of What's Around-The lyrics of this song are incredibly heartfelt and passionate, and do a great job at setting the mood right.  So does the groovy-ass bass line, which combined with the incredible syncopated drumming patterns of Carter Beauford, subtle violin and guitar melodies, and LeRoi Moore's beautiful sax playing can make anyone feel like one suave mother fucker.  The song also works to a mini peak right before every chorus, settling down once again into smooth, comfortable, and euphoric passage.

  

  "Alone With You," Deadmau5, Random Album Title-Strong, repetitive (should I say, "pounding"), underlying pulse makes this song easy to keep up with, if you catch my drift.  Also the repetitive nature and soothing melodies make this track nice to listen to, yet not too demanding of attention.  In fact, this song is just repetitive and trippy enough for you to get lost in it without getting bored.

  "Light My Fire"/"LA Woman"/"Touch Me"/"Love Me Two Times"/"Roadhouse Blues," The Doors: Okay.  Before I get into this, I had better come clean.  Jim Morrison is totally my man-crush.  That being said, I'm confident that there are plenty of ladies out there who feel similarly, and who would really turn their game up when his voice hits their ears.  Some awesome lyrics ("Mr. Mojo rising," "Try to set the night on fire," "You gotta roll, roll, roll, you gotta thrill my soul," and the entire song "Touch Me") contributed to this choice.  Not to mention the fact that The Doors manage to pull of the psychedelic sound and still remain sexy, perfect for kinky and freaky moments.  Also perfect for getting stoned and getting it on.  

  

  

  "Sophisticated Lady," Duke Ellington-No doubt the classiest choice on this list, "Sophisticated Lady" can make men and women alike feel sexy, in a 1930's, peak of the Jazz Age kind of way, that only the Duke and his orchestra could do.

  "Chameleon," Herbie Hancock, Head Hunters: Just listen.  Epitomizes the funk feel, and exemplifies why it is so appropriate for the gettin' yo' freak on.  A perfect thrusting tempo, and the ensemble hits in the chorus (at 1:11) can inspire some moves you never thought you had in you.

  

  "Hot Pants," James Brown: The underlying groove, along with the horn section's riffs, provide a perfect lovemaking accompaniment. The bridge (at 2:27) provides a nice - but not too drastic - change of pace.  And Brown's shouting "hit me!" might get your partner to really take things to a new level, you never know.

  

  "You Shook Me," Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin-Slow, ballsy, and sexy blues classic, done in Zeppelin's raunchy, high-energy style, could get things heated up even if you were naked in Antarctica, eating ice cream. 

  "Electric Feel," MGMT, Oracle Spectacular-Electric feel alright, right in the tip of my penis.  Also, another perfect thrusting tempo, highlighted by a strong, pulsating, drive from the drums and bass.

  Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blood Sugar Sex Magik-Particularly noteworthy on this album: the title track, "Suck My Kiss," , "Give it Away," "Funky Monks," "If You Have to Ask," and "Mellowship Slinky in B Minor" with its perfect bass line.  And the ultimate bedroom swagger song, "Sir Psycho Sexy." ("That is me!")  The funkiest, grooviest, most sexual (and, perhaps not coincidentally, the best) Chili Peppers' album, in my opinion.

  

  "El Farol," Santana, Supernatural-No doubt the sexiest song I've ever heard.  The seductive potential of Latin music really shows in this song, along with the passionate, introspective nature of Santana's guitar playing.

  Anything by Otis Redding-His voice is perfect.  'Nuff said.  Need proof?  Listen to "These Arms of Mine," "Pain in My Heart," "I've Been Loving You Too Long," or "That's How Strong My Love Is."  Need more proof?  Listen to them next time you and your baby make love and it will definitely be love of the sweet, passionate, and deeply emotional variety.

  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "Caress Me Down," Sublime, Sublime-Nice and laid-back song, easy groove to feel, lyrics about sex, and a rap in Español.  What's not to love? "Me gusta mi reggae, me gusta punk rock.  Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita."

  "Nutville," The Buddy Rich Big Band, Burning For Buddy: A Tribute To The Music Of Buddy Rich-Just listening makes me wanna "nutville" in my pants right now.  And then again just after the 3:30 mark when the song climaxes into an epic drum solo.  (I chose to use a tribute version b/c I like the energy Steve Smith's double bass & tom-tom-heavy drumming provides.)

  "Let's Get it On," Marvin Gaye, Let's Get it On-So, all the songs before this one were not in any order.  But this one was intentionally placed last.  There's a reason it is used all the time for sex scenes in film and television: it is, plain and simple, the perfect sex song.  Seriously, how can you hear those first four notes and not turn to the nearest attractive person and flash your bedroom eyes.  Not only is it titled, "Let's Get it On," but the lyrics speak this message quite clearly.  It's an impeccable mood-setter, undeniably romantic, and a damn sexy piece of music.  Whoever was the first guy to bring a woman back to his pad, pour a couple glass of wine, and throw this tune on the stereo, is my hero.  A perfect alternative to "askin' you, baby, to get it on with me," is to let Marvin Gaye ask, by doing what he does best.  "So if the spirit moves you, let me groove you....gooood!"

   

  

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  Well there you have it.  I hope I've inspired some people out there to go and create their own sex playlists, because music can be an incredibly romantic, passionate, and seductive supplement to any bedroom adventure, whether it is Valentines/anniversary sex, a kinky experiment, or a casual "fuck buddy" situation.

  Obviously, this lists reflects both my own musical tastes and romantic ideals, and is further restricted to music I have heard before and could recall while writing this piece.  So, I'd like to hear some of your ideas.

  Would these songs compliment your sexual endeavors?  What would you add/remove?  Ladies, is this list reflective of male tendencies, or could y'all get down with these tunes as well?  And finally, is this whole concept just a silly idea by a musician that no one else can relate to? (Musicians, back me up on this).

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