Sunday, 02 January 2011
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Digital Obesity, Delicious.
Why do people love the Food Network? What makes people enjoy watching shows about DELICIOUS food that they can't smell or taste? It kind of seems like some bizarre psychology experiment, getting humans to salivate without even being near food. No matter what the reason, shows about food are awesome, and people like me and you are getting digitally obese.
Watching about restaurants you'll never eat at, chefs you'll never sample, and countries you'll never travel to is just plain American fun! But a lot of the time it can be nothing short of torture. Ever watched Iron Chef when you were starving? It is like being in prison, and the keys to your cell are on an HD TV screen. Yeah, it is that upsetting.
Ever watched Unwrapped while you were stoned? A different form of torture.
Sometimes when you travel you have the bright idea to visit a spot from your favorite food show. That is always so gratifying to FINALLY eat somewhere you've been drooling over on your couch. After all, why not go to some good place from Diner, Drive-In's and Dives when you are stuck in Cape May, NJ for 2 days.
However:
Guy Fieri - sucks
Giatta De Laurentis - is awesome
Rachel Ray - has man hands
Bobby Flay - is seriously a high school dropout
Ina Garten - would make a nice replacement mother
Paula Dean - will give you a heart attack by age 17
Alton Brown - is a strange genius that has gotten way too skinny
Marc Summers - is forever trapped inside that 50's looking diner
Long live cooking shows! One day our grandchildren will have smell-o-vision and taste-o-vision and we'll angrily tell them to fuck off 'cause we had it hard back in the day.
Tell me about your love of cooking shows!
P.S. - Chopped is awesome and no one gives a damn about Cupcake Wars
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- From: mikeyjefferson
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Comments (35)
ace of cakes is my favourite
I love Alton Brown!
I used to watch unwrapped and the like all the time, but not much as of late.
Now I kind of miss them.
LOVE the food network! Alton Brown AWESOME, Giada AWESOME, Chopped AWESOME! (ps its all torture when your stoned, which I am most of the time so I live in torture!)
How come nobody likes Guy Fieri? I LOVE him! His show has the most amazing delicious things and it's my fave show on the food network. Don't hate on him =P Plus it's by far the best show to watch stoned out of your mind (:
Guy Fieri is hilarious. Me and my dad LOVE him... plus what a frickin awesome job... EATING. lol
Mostly I watch out lovely Australian cooking shows not because I love to cook, but because I love to eatttttt!!! (It's amazing I only weigh 83 pounds... mehh)
This post is funny... I am digitally obese ^^
paula deen is actually a total bitch in real life...
Iron Chef (original!)
Uh Michael Smith(Cheft at home, etc.)
Bob Bloomer...Or whatever his name is...that guy is awesome
I love the cheft in the seconsd picture..though his name escapes me....
Barefoot contessa....Oh...Cake Boss! (TLC <_<;)
cupcake wars was a way to get a laugh. i like cupcakes.
Giada De Laurentiis - I FUCKING HATE THIS WOMAN.
I don't know what it is, I really don't, but something about her just makes me want to kick a puppy.I want to write strongly-worded letters to FN about even having her on there.
Paula Deen makes me so happy. I would never touch anything she cooked with a ten-foot pole,but I'm from Georgia and that shit makes my heart soar. I wish she was my mom until I think about how fat she'd make me.
Ina Garten is the best. She's the quintessential lady-who-lunches, always going on picnics or to brunch.
Guy Fieri IS a bit creepy, but dude's got good taste.
And FN is a terrible channel to be on when stoned, but it's like a train wreck. You just can't look away.
The BEST EVER is CHOW!!! He's tops on my list...and I'm sure MANY will agree with me. (but then I'm a little biased.
)