Saturday, 18 December 2010
This is guest post from Cheat Confession.
December 17th, 2010 by DangerZone
I recently was wandering around a local bookstore when I noticed a book titled Love and Sex with Robots by David Levy on sale for only $2. Given the title and price tag, I just had to buy it.
At first I was embarrassed to carry it around assuming that the natural reaction of anyone seeing it would be, “You want to f*ck robots?”
But then I realized: you know what? I do want to f*ck a robot.
Let’s face it, f*cking a robot would be awesome. How many scifi/fantasy things can you actually f*ck? Let’s run through the list:
You can’t f*ck a zombie.
You can’t f*ck a werewolf. Well, I guess you can, but it’d be a pretty hairy situation three days out of the month after the affair. Eh, that’s much not different from dating a regular lady, I guess. And talk about clear cut signs of an affair if you happen to be cheating with one; what with the bite marks and shedding. But for most of the time, they are just a regular person.
Wookie: same problem as the werewolf, but all the time.
Bigfoot: See wookie (although, he’s probably pretty hung. Just sayin’. If Ron Jeremy can get laid, bigfoot can).
Vampires are more for the ladies. I imagine it’d be rather cold anyway.
Mermaid … ew. It’d basically be like f*cking a fish, but you could get a beej from one.
A Frankenstein: A lot of the same problem of the zombie. Not nearly as bad, but you’re still f*cking a dead thing.
Aliens … aliens could work, but you better hope for a humanoid one. Aliens can get pretty unsuitable for our parts. Hell, sticking any part of your anatomy into any part of theirs could be incredibly painful or even lethal. So, that’s a good one, but you’ve got to be careful.
Centaur: Why are you even bringing this one up? It’s like a land mermaid. The top half may be smokin’, but the downstairs presents a set of problems that say you’re not going to want to look yourself in the mirror for a loooooooooong time.
Unicorn: I fully support this. What? You don’t know, it could give you magical powers. Isn’t that worth taking one for the team to find out?
Witch/Wizard: This one you can do, but it’s not that different from a normal human and you’ve got to be careful about the aftermath. Do not piss off people who control magic. See how fucking a unicorn can come in handy now?
Cyborg: It’s halfway to a robot, so I guess if the robot sexnology doesn’t get to safely f*ckable levels in time this will be a nice go between.
Klingon: I guess you could, but I wouldn’t suggest it.
Whatever the hell Milla Jovovich was in The Fifth Element: HELL YES!
So yea, I want to f*ck a robot. Deal with it.
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