Tuesday, 14 December 2010
This is a guest post from Just A Guy Thing.
She's not hot (well, she is, but not hotter than thousands of others), she's got ZERO discernible talent besides being able to rap-talk through an autotuner, and her "look" appears to have been lifted straight from Mugatu's "Derelique" campaign. I've had the dubious obligation of seeing her perform live twice, which may or may not have seriously damaged both my ears and eyes. Let's make sure that if 2010 was the "Year of Ke$ha", then 2011 will be the "Year of Anyone But Ke$ha."
If you're famous and your name starts with a K and ends with a vowel, you're SOL on this list. Kanye didn't claim the president hated black people and didn't make Taylor Swift cry, but he did take being batshit crazy to a new level this year, thanks largely to his discovery of a little thing called Twitter. Kanye figured out that if you're upset at something no one else would ever care about, the 140-character maximum only applies if you're writing one tweet. If you space your thoughts out over dozens, you can write like Dostoevsky.
To get an idea, here's a clever mash-up of Kanye's tweets matched with New Yorker cartoons.
3. Kim Kardashian
Kim - What do you do, and why are you here? This is a take-home question. Have an answer in a week or exile yourself from the public eye.
4. Jersey Shore Cast
Not a surprise, that they made the cut. We're not going for subtlety here. Seriously, they are some of the worst-looking, least fashionable, and most vapid people on the planet. Their saving grace is that they are self-aware. They know that they're playing a role, and they're probably surprised as shit that the American public is buying it. Here's how we stop it: No more Jersey Shore-themed parties. Don't ever say "GTL." Ever. Stay in school. The end.
5. Mel Gibson/Charlie Sheen (tie)
These guys are the apples and oranges of "awful." How do you compare the misogynistic, anti-semitic lunatic with the cokehead that beats up hookers while he's on vacation with his kids? Well, you don't compare them. It's like choosing your poison. They both have sucked in the past, they sucked this year, and they'll almost certainly suck in the near future. At least Mel gave us this little gem, "I'm gonna burn down your house, but you're gonna blow me first." Thanks, Mel.