Tuesday, 23 November 2010
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10 People I Hate to Walk Behind
Presented in no particular order are 10 people I hate getting stuck behind:1) Someone Texting~ This happens to all of us nowadays, you are walking behind someone at a steady rate and then all of the sudden their pace slows dramatically. They essentially shift their body into autopilot mode, moving one foot in front of the other without any concern for those around them. This is particularly bad when the texting person is also walking up a flight of stairs. They move at a tortoise like rate, and all you want to do is get out of the subway.
2) Anybody Smoking~ Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with smokers. I just think it sucks to be in the back draft of someone puffin on a Newport. A smoker standing still is perfectly fine, but when they crop dust their air poison it just plain sucks. If second hand smoke wasn't: A) worse than regular smoke and B) something that has already been inside a person, it wouldn't be that bad.
3) People Pulling One of Those Wheeled Suitcases~ Fuck these people. How lazy are you? We are on a city street, not an airplane terminal. Get a bag you can carry, or don't bring it with you. Period. The invention of the wheel was not supposed to make our lives miserable. A person pulling one of these bags seemingly has no concern for the amount of space they are occupying, or how to control a large moving object. I can't tell you how many times the person in front of me has stopped short and I have run into their bag. Have some respect.
4) People You've Already Said Goodbye To~ This is just awkward. You say goodbye to someone, maybe have a drawn out hug, and then all of the sudden you find you are walking in the same direction as them. Awkward. It's just uncomfortable. You feel obligated to strike up another conversation, and then have to say something like, "Okay, bye for real this time!" Talk about lame.5) Tourists~ If you live in a big city, you know what I am talking about. There is nothing worse than a group of 10 Scandinavians linked arm and arm blocking up the sidewalk. Nothing is as painful as following newlyweds from Minneapolis taking pictures of the Empire State Building from an "artsy" angle. How about a Chinese couple shuffling while trying to figure out a subway map. Fuck that. We have all been tourists, but having to walk behind them really makes you not want to go anywhere.
6) Obese People~ Okay, this may seem mean but I do hate when I get stuck behind a really overweight walker. Not only are they slow but they take up a huge amount of space. It is not easy to find an opportune moment to merge around their waddle. Even those little scooter wheelchairs don't help on a crowded street.7) Old People~ I respect my elders, but I have no choice but to blow past them on the street. Old guys with canes and women with osteoporosis are sweet and everything, but I got places to be. Their fragile bodies present a new challenge: not bumping into them. I don't wanna go around them and shatter them like glass making delicate merging a priority. This often slows me down even more you blasted old timers!
8) A Group of Drunks~ A group of shady drunk men always gives me the creeps. When the gang gets together who knows what type of drunken shit they are gonna start. You all know the feeling, you're walking behind drunk people and you fear they are gonna start some trouble. Fuck that shit. On the flip side, it is also annoying being behind loud, obnoxious drunk women. Maybe they are chanting Taylor Swift, or talking about some other MTV bullshit. You just want to scream, "SHUT UPPP!" but you can't.
9) Someone Wielding an Umbrella~ Especially when it is not raining, a person with an umbrella sucks. I dont think they realize that the rain runs off their umbrella and ON to others! People sometimes have MASSIVE umbrellas las if they took it from a patio or golf tournament, these are not necessary on a crowded street. In addition, most umbrellas have sharp, spiky things all around them and I always fear I will lose an eye. Buy a poncho asshole.
10) Readers~ That's right, readers. I've been stuck behind a guy walking and reading a novel. What an asshole. I'm all for multitasking but not at the expense of you walking like a slow jackass. It must be a pretty riveting work of fiction for you to be so antisocial that the mere thought of going from a A to B is too hard for you. The next time I see that I'm gonna spoil the ending for them.Who'd I Miss?
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- From: mikeyjefferson
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Comments (86)
i do 1,4,10
oh and the gangsters with their swag on.
Crop dusters of the methane variety monsieur. You missed those did you not?
I can't stand walking behind, or anywhere near, people that drag their feet.
I do the first one.. Except I walk fast =) & usually mess up txts & confuse people..
you sound just like me in a lot of these...i just hate being stuck behind someone walking slow, because i inevitably ALWAYS have somewhere to go. when i've got tons of time? nothing in my way. ugh. i also hate walking behind people who walk right down the middle of the sidewalk, whether it's in front of me or walking towards me, ESPECIALLY when it's been really rainy. "i'm sorry, your majesty, of course i will sacrifice my shoes in the mud so that you may have the ENTIRE sidewalk instead of allowing others to share it with you."
...just people who are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't realize walkways/sidewalks are for everyone, not just for them, and slower traffic should keep to the right...just like how it SHOULD be on the roads...but that's a different story.
I wouldn't say obese people specifically, just ALL people who don't feel the need to keep up with foot traffic. Just like driving behind people who won't go the speed limit. A lot of overweight people are aware that there's this stereotype expecting them to be puffing & waddling along at a snail's pace, so they actively ensure that they're not the slow-moving person in front of a group wanting to go faster.
Well in our school, we have the lower year kids walking at a snail's pace and taking up the WHOLE corridor! Really pisses me off because I tend to walk quite fast and I don't like slowing down. Also, in a crowd when someone just suddenly turns around and they either bash into you or you have to move out of the way, so annoying.
guys with their pants down past their ass, fat women with thongs on, people holding hands, people eating ice cream, people who don't want to step on cracks, there's more but then I'd be considered a complainer and that is truly not what I am
. You forgot couples. They lock hands and extend across, talking up the whole walk way. And as soon as you try to get around them, one of them shifts and you can't get past without bumping into a slew of people walking the other direction. It's like they're strolling down lovers' lane, swaying slowly together.
Couples that are walking slow and holding hands, therefore blocking the whole sidewalk/hallway. They seem to always be there when you are late for work and class.
Pretty much agree with all of these. Although the only time I walk around with a wheeled suitcase is when I'm going in or out of Port Authority to visit family. Don't think I can carry a week's worth of clothing and items in a friggin purse. And if I could just levitate the thing, believe me I would, I'm in a lot more frustration then you are trying to carry that thing and a few other bags back to Staten Island by myself. I have seen people carry those things around in the mall though and wondered how the fuck no one has pulled them aside and checked their bag for shoplifted stuff. Why else would you roll that thing around in the mall?
You forgot the whole iPod thing where they're so focused on their music they're oblivious to the entire rest of the planet.
@sw33tw3asl3 AMEN!!!
@lilblucherrygrl what else did you think they were for? Same reason lots of gals take strollers into tightly packed stores....
i do 10 when i wanna finish a page/chapter/etc. when i get off a bus/train/car.
people who stink ><
Oh god, I agree with all of them except #8-10 (since I've never walked behind drunk people, umbrella people or readers).
Don't forget the group that likes to walk side by side so they take up the entire walking space ;_;
Big families/immigrant families. They tend to want to stick together and go together in huge packs 7+ people on a crowded street. Downtown toronto GTFO the sidewalk! GAH.
I have been behind each of these people. They suck.....
Sounds like someone forgot that they are not the only person on the planet. Friendly reminder: no one really cares what you think or do. In fact, you probably irritate just as many people as you find irritating (and this goes for everyone, not just you.)
It is best to try to remember this, lest you look like an outrageous tool. Well... no, you will probably still look like a tool. Oh well.
This is funny. Today I went to the supermarket. I go every Tuesday. I forgot this is the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. A lot of elderly people inching along with shopping carts and they always stop right in front of the item you want to grab from the shelf. That would be one.
Another is anyone pushing a cart in a grocery store while talking on a cellphone. Like when driving they have no idea where they are or how many people they're holding up so they can stop and say, "OMG You're kidding! How long have you known him?"
Ahaha, this is too funny. I have been 1, 2 and 8 and I agree with all of them except tourists, I love tourists.
@TheSaltMine@xanga - Haha, I love this comment!!
And I resent number 5. I'm from Minnesota
For me it's smokers and the obese that REALLY bother me.
Actually... it's funny... I commented on another post about how it annoys me trying to get around a very overweight person... and I think I got 20+ nasty comments back. So it's interesting to me that no one's really sad anything bad about that one. :P
BAHAHAHA 4 is the best!