Tuesday, 16 November 2010
Let me just start off by saying that I pee sitting down (unless I'm using a urinal, anyway). Although I've given up my man card as a result, I gain points for keeping the seat down like the previous night's alcohol. Before you jackasses comment on my partially acquired vagina, I'll have you know that peeing while sitting down will get you laid twice as often. As soon as a woman senses that you're basking in all of your morning glory, nonchalantly peeing while resting your man-bottom on the holiest of shit thrones, she'll realize that you're bonding by mimicking her style of urination. That, is sexy.
But women, listen up. I know the age-old saying that you get annoyed when your man leaves the toilet seat up. Since only a small percentage of men follow in my footsteps, the unfortunate souls who still pee standing up are more likely to leave the seat up. I've always been a little skeptical because it seems highly unlikely that something so trivial would set you off this easily. Now, not all of you are guilty of having repeated titty-attacks upon noticing that the sound of a toilet seat going down is missing, but really; is it as big of a deal as it's made out to be?
It's common courtesy for a man to bring the seat back down after having flushed, but it can easily be forgotten. Hey, shit happens. Does it really hurt to bring the seat down yourself in these cases instead of complaining? Maybe even compromise, and have him give you a foot rub every time he forgets, you know? Isn't forgetting to flush the toilet a much bigger deal? I feel like that has just as much of a chance of happening as our little toilet seat dilemma.
Women of the world, what is your take on fully erect toilet seats; does it bother you? Is there anything else toilet-related that pisses you off even more?
Nuñez Love Doctor
Certified with a PhD in Urinary Bonding and Manginas.