Saturday, 13 November 2010
This is a guest post from Cheat Confession.
Would you date someone with superpowers?
I don’t know.
I know the obvious answer is yes! Yes! That’s f*cking awesome!
But hold on a second, what if things go wrong? What if they’re a telepath and they catch you thinking about cheating? What if they’re all super strong and overreact to signs of infidelity? Or, hell, what if it’s just a regular old bad breakup? They can make your life a living hell.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, isn’t that the plot to some sh*tty Luke Wilson movie that came out a few years back? Yes, it is, but that doesn’t make it less horrifying. In fact, it only makes it more horrifying! Not only would you be going through a horrible ordeal, but everyone you talk to about it would compare it so that shitty Luke Wilson movie.
But it’d still be pretty f*cking cool, dangers and Luke Wilson aside, to date someone with superpowers.
Just the benefit of being able to fly around (well, not for me, I have a fear of heights and any attempt at my girlfriend carrying me around in flight would just be a disaster) is enough, but it probably has benefits for the sex life too.
A girl with super strength could probably bring new meaning to kegeling.
Although, that could go the other way. What if she’s too strong? She could cause massive damage to a precious part of your anatomy. And if she’s got like Superman strength the sound waves sent out by the pure force of her kegel exercises could send shockwaves through the earth’s crust and cause earthquakes all over the world.
Certainly fire powers would probably cause a number of problems. Who knows how well people can control their powers in fits of ecstasy? All I’m saying is sex with a pyrokinetic (I believe that’s the appropriate term) or Human Torch type would likely end in death from sixth degree burns, starting at your nether regions.
The friction caused by a speedster just sounds painful. It’d probably end in scars and an awful rash.
Ice? Too cold and sharp, although possibly pleasing in small doses.
Flight could be a fun one.
Telepathy would be good for sex, but good luck getting a telepath to have sex with you. They can see everything going on in your head. Worst relationship ever.
Telekinesis would probably be best. Awesome power, helpful in everyday situations, useful in bed with limited downside. Just wouldn’t want to break up with said telekinetic.
Would you ever date someone with superpowers?
Eh, probably. It may cripple me terribly, but damn, that’s a story.
-DangerZoneFor more articles and anonymous confessions, visit our friends at Cheat Confession!