I have heard so many times that when women have sex, the view it as an act of love (usually). Men view it as an act of nature and has nothing to do with love (usually). I'm starting to think that isn't true at all.
I had a great experience, with my guy of four years. Last night and today he has been in a great mood and willing to help me around the house. He didn't even try to hang out at his friend's house today. I notice that every time we have a really good sex session it's always the same outcome. He's super happy the next day and very nice. Is he being appreciative, is he feeling relieved, or does showing him that extra bit of attention in bed make him feel loved by me?
Do any other guys out there treat their girl better after a hot session?
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Comments (42)
I'm glad you're seeing this as a positive thing (well, I assume such by your phrase 'I had a great experience'). I think many women would see it as men being easy or only caring about sex. I think you're probably right. Despite the stereotype that men compartmentalize everything, I think we're actually quite good at integrating/fusing mental/emotional and physical. Especially when it comes to sex. Sex, physical touch actually, is a legitimate need. It's not a bonus or a reward or a luxury (unless you want to live an ascetic lifestyle). So it makes sense for many men to feel better overall when that need is met.
@TheKtulu7@xanga - seeing as he's a personal friend I have to agree with the homeboy. Give him the footprints please! :D
With that said. Sex is a powerful thing. On a number of occasions I've been know to knit after a good lay because I'm in such a good mood (not true but just an example). But ast The Ktulu states, sex is important to me too. If I make you feel awsome in bed what are the chances you're going to text me or talk about me to your friends, probably high...same goes for us. If you rock my world and blow my mind I'm first going to brag about it and then call you up. For me personally though, sex means more than joy, its an emotional thing as well (just putting it out there), because I trust no one, only my parents...my gut doesn't even have my trust.
Of course we are nicer post coitus. It's because we are in a euphoric and docile state, due to our evil being released out of us and shot into/onto you. You wouldn't believe the tension a loaded pair of testicles can cause. Not to mention the sense of accomplishment and self one finds after an orgasm. Either all of that, or we really are just pussy whipped fools, lead by the lesser of our two heads. Only difference is, some of us are lead down a path of fortitude and just generally being awesome; and some are lead down a path that leads to house hold chores and the pottery barn. However, sex and love for a man are not always mutually exclusive. I would even say they're not more times then so.
http://mdongivin.mancouch.com/733958308/brains-vs-beauty-and-the-lay-in-it-dilemma/it equals love for me all the time =D i get cranky
@TheKtulu7@xanga - I view it as a great thing. I love being able to connect with him in a very sexual way. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only waking up the next morning still warm and fuzzy from the night before.
@mdongivin - So that's how to get his demons out...
I figured that love & sex are not exclusive but maybe once there's that connection with someone, the lovin' feelin' hangs around...?
ummm sighs... typical over thinker of a woman here... feed him a very good meal... get his favorite beer... let him watch the superbowl.. kill a good sized fish... shoot a big deer.... its all the same k?
@beforedawn@xanga - nothing like being jaded. Thinking is good...don't really think I was overthinking, especially since this is a four year culmination, not just a one time experience.
@JoyElizabeth82@xanga - sighs.. sweet lady its not love.. its a man feeling relaxed and at peace. "love" is the fact he is with you day after day.
I thought it was usually that he makes her feel loved and appreciated and in return, she'll give him lots of steady sex, and she gives him sex to bond with him closer, and in return he shows her through kind gestures like helping with household chores or watching a movie with her that he is eager to please her if she mutually pleases him, too.
my guy always seems way more willing to cuddle after sex and we seem more in sync with each other through the next day or longer...but i know he loves me, whether we had sex recently or not so sex isn't love for him. i'm gonna agree with the first post, especially because he said physical touch is a legitimate need (or whatever i'm too lazy to scroll up and check haha).
Honestly, for me, the men I know, sex has nothing to do with love. They may say it to get you into bed. They might even mean it, but sex does not equal love to men, At least not the ones I know.
@JoyElizabeth82@xanga - Yes, that's absolutely the way to get the demons out, via the demon seed. ha ha. I'm not saying it's not possible; and if that is the case with you, then good for you. I can only speak on my experience and that of people I know (which if you're a reader of my site, you know is pretty extensive); and it says other wise, most of the time. I think I've been with enough women though, to know that they sometimes dramatize the littlest things and tend believe what they want to believe, especially in the name of love.
@beforedawn@xanga - Hahaha.I think this is incredibly stereotypical. Why can't sex= love for men? Cuse I certainly think it can.
Sex doesn't equal love for me at all, but that doesn't mean I treat a girl like shit after. I don't have to like someone in that way to treat them with respect.
He got off nuff said.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Umm, this post is actually questioning the stereotype...
@mdongivin - I was joking around with my guy last night... I told him the next time I give him a blow job, I'll look up and say, "I'm getting the evil out". I got the raised eyebrow in return.
@beforedawn@xanga - well that's why I was asking. I obviously wasn't sure
@JoyElizabeth82@xanga - That probably meant he was oddly aroused. I would be.
Ok, I guess it depends on the relationship. There are some relationships (I have had a few) that sex is all the relationship was. Sex was great, it kept us happy, and we lasted long enough to wear each other out. I have also had a few relationships where it was kinda off. I mean that simply by some days we felt connected while having sex and other times it was simply just physical and all about feeling good. I have had a relationship where sex was an expression of love and it was amazing. Although it was intense, there was nothing physical about it. I may be off on the question, but I think it all depends.
:)
@JoyElizabeth82@xanga - i can give you statistical situations here k? means statistics only apply to large groups of people but seldom can be applied to just one individual. in my knowledge range then no that would not be a showing of love. but i dont know him k? you think it might be then by all means flow with that. you may be right in this instance.
@beforedawn@xanga - I wasn't being crass with my last comment to you. Okay, maybe I was a little but there was sincerity lurking beneath. Really, I get that most replies are based on personal experience or statistics and I wanted to know if it was at least a possibilty. Guess I could always get my answer from my guy but I don't want to run the risk of ruining his increased helpful behavior by pointing it out either.
@JoyElizabeth82@xanga - if you feel its love..does it matter what it truly is? again maybe you are right and also maybe the feeling increases your love for him which he in turns feels and responds back to. again does it truly matter as long as you both are feeling happy with the result? go.. be in love.. let him love.. both live in love...and simply enjoy. short, simple, eloquent, satisfying, and main thing is just be happy.
@JoyElizabeth82@xanga - ah and this is from one of my favorite authors right now.. Jim Butcher... (" so many terrible things are done for love" Mab's voice said " for love will men mutilate themselves and murder rivals. For love will even a peaceful man go to war. For love, man will destroy himself, and that right willingly")
you wonder if its love a man feels after a good bout of sex....