Sunday, 15 August 2010
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Is It Possible To Not Look Like A Douche When Wearing Tevas?
This is a guest post from Bottom Of The Swamp.
Ok, so I’m pretty sure Tevas is a brand name, but I don’t really give a shit. I mean a certain type of sandal. You know the one. You just can’t wear them without looking douchey.
Lots of people have remarked on the inexplicable socks with sandals look just being lame and making you look like a lame-o. But even without the socks you just kind of look lame if the sandals in question are Tevas. And what exactly is the purpose of Tevas anyway? Who are the people buying these things?
Middle aged dorky suburban white people, that’s who. The type of people who wear fanny packs. And if you are not one of those people (or belong to them in the case of children, I don’t intend to blame children for the disasters visited upon them by their parents) and you’re buying Tevas, just recognize who you’re associating yourself with when you wear them.
As for their actual purpose? I don’t get it. As stated above they are the fanny pack of the foot world, but even fanny packs have greater purpose than Tevas. Fanny packs hold things. Sure for a female the purpose is negated by a purse or the male by a backpack or satchel, but there’s still a purpose. What do Tevas do?
Has anyone actually ever muttered, “It’s hot out, so I don’t want to wear sneakers, but flip flops don’t give me enough support?” Tevas are for the indecisive. Either you need the protection of a sneaker or shoe, or you need the relief from the heat of a flip flop. Tevas give you some relief from the heat, but cover your feet in straps and some support, but no protection from say glass on the ground on a city street. Tevas are for tourists.
I wonder if there’s a correlation between Tevas and fanny packs. I bet there is. Next time you see someone with a fanny pack check their feet. I bet I know what they’ll be wearing! And they’ll probably be doing that duck waddle walk thing people in Tevas tend to do.
I’m not exactly Mr. Fashion here, but there are things that are just too ridiculously lame and must be ridiculed. Like Tevas or Crocs or Axe products of any sort. When I see Tevas, I mock and I ridicule and you should too. Maybe we can erase this blight from the planet.
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- From: bottomoftheswamp
- Name: bottomoftheswamp
- Location: Washington D.C., District of Columbia, United States
- About Me: So here's the deal, I used to run this shit (by this shit, I mean Mancouch), but now I don't. So, now I have my own blog filled with silliness, weirdness, RAGE, music, and a general sense of discontent with the human condition. Hopefully, you enjoy, but if not, whatever.
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Comments (32)
hahaha awesome.
It's like if Jesus was proven beyond a reasonable doubt to have existed and was Gods only son not because of the known reasons; but because he was a flamboyant homosexual, and completely embarrassed God to a point where he was too afraid to have another one. These are what he would have wore for shoes.
Maybe people don't like flip flops, but still want to wear sandals.
I will forever look for the correlation between these and fanny packs. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
lol i hate these things..
"dorky suburban white people" who wear fanny packs are not the same thing as a douche. It's almost the exact opposite.
stick with 1 stereotype instead of contradicting yourself.
yeah, they look about as silly as people who wear boat shoes and water shoes when they're nowhere near a boat or water.
i think they're really ugly but...
yes I have muttered “It’s hot out, so I don’t want to wear sneakers, but flip flops don’t give me enough support”
I have flat feet :/
plus dorky white suburban people are not douches at all
I dont like them either =/
It's a shoe. Why are we making a big deal out of it?
I used to wear those when I was around 5~ :D
If by 'Tevas' you mean 'any sandal with a heel-strap,' then this post is stupid. Heel-strapped sandals, like original sandals, the great and practical sandals, the things Jesus probably wore and the Romans (except maybe without the string to tie and untie along your frickin' calf), are frickin' great. You know what sucks? Flip-flops. I hate those things. I don't understand how people can use them. Whenever I walk around in flip-flops, they fall off. If they don't fall off, they make a loud annoying noise to announce to everyone where I am and where I'm going. Not to mention that I KNOW when my feet hit the ground. I don't need some silly smack to alert me to the speed of my own pace.
But if by 'Tevas' you mean, 'those shoes with slits in them so we can call them "sandals",' then you might have a point.
women have the mom jeans and men have dad sandals and these are it.
@thewindycity@xanga - oh pfft who cares if he got the stereotype wrong
Is it possible to make a big deal out of this without being an emo extremist?
If it's fashionable to be macho or point out how ridiculous mundane visuals are, then there should be no issue with someone choosing to make a fashion of stringing thongs through his nose and pierced tongue after yanking them off some dude who gave himself a wedgie up his shitty ass wearing them.
If I didn't mind the appearance I'd wear them. I prefer open shoes to closed when my feet need a lot of air. I hate flip-flops because they keep falling off. Besides, this isn't exactly a modern style, aside from the materials.
glad i'm not alone in hating these.
I have a pair of sandals kind of like those from Nike that I wear when I go whitewater rafting. They're better than tennis shoes because who cares if they get wet and you won't lose them if you fall out like you would flip flops. Yeah they aren't the most fashionable but I'm sure people (like me) choose them for practicality in most cases.
more racist shit on mancouch eh?
In Minnesota they're used for camping. It's nice to have a sturdy sandal that can go in the water (and sandals are necessary because rocks and clams can cut up your feet).
I cringe big time when i see someone wearing these with socks. its like a million times worse than it is worn alone
They're comfy.
Though I don't think I would wear one of THOSE, per se. Although there ARE Teva products that don't look too ugly.
dude are you kidding? tevas are awesome! if you have ever been to colorado / hiking / on a river trip you would absolutely know what they are for..
hahahah ew
Wait, we drive a Suburban xD We aren't a dorky family though...and I think our new Suburban is reeeaallllyy cool o___o I love it lol. Suburbans are a classy vehicle, really lol. But I'll stick to my Jeep Liberty because that Suburban is HUGE xD
I think there are better things to mock. The Snuggie, for example. *shudders* They even have one for pets. :(