Pre-ordering tickets for this movie gave me a woody. Luckily I had hours to try and get rid of it until it started. My friends and I go in, buy popcorn, find great seats and start watching previews. I still have a woody. Then the projector fails and the waiting game begins.
After twenty minutes a scrawny guy comes in from the back of the theater and says, “Don’t worry, technical difficulties, we will be screening the movie in the next few minutes.” How could you not believe this guy? So another twenty minutes pass. Meanwhile, the audience has gone passed restless and half of them are singing Bohemian Rhapsody, while the other half are complaining about it and throwing food at said harmonizers.
Here comes scrawny guy again: “We will be moving to theater nine where there are no technical difficulties.” It is now 1245; I have a commute to wake up for in five and a half hours. Move on over to nine. They put the previews back on. Why? Someone upstairs finally comes to their senses and puts the movie on… Twenty minutes into it! People start leaving, commotion commotion. They fix the issue, but it is now 115. No sleep for the wicked.
Then, after all this the movie was horrible. It was like Snakes on a Plane all over again. It really did suck.
Okay, I knew it was going to suck, but this? This was absolutely atrocious. It contained some of the worst dialogue, worst storyline and most pointless characters I’ve seen in a long time, and my major in college was shitty action movies. All the while the audience is cheering and clamoring for more gore and pointless violence.
Why does it always suck when I see the premier? I am never going to one again.
It seemed obvious that each of the “big name” actors came individually to records their parts because there are only a few scenes were they are all together.
All the acting seemed so forced, like they were all trying to share the spotlight equally, like gentlemen. Most of the dialogues are one-on-ones with Barney “the Schizo” Ross, played by an extremely steroid addled Stallone. They never really talk amongst themselves, which is a shame because that would have added better, more flowing dialogue.
But the action had to be awesome right? WRONG. Whatever CGI effect they used for the blood and gore looked cheesy and cartoony. It was much like the one in the new Rambo, but so much more over the top. Of course there were scenes that made you say, “Damn!” But, there is not enough to make the movie worth a second (or first if you haven’t done it yet) watch.
Thursday night was one of the worst movie experiences of my life. The annoying audience, the hour long postponing and the shitty shitty movie caused my hopes and woody to come crashing down. What did you think of The Expendables?