MTV's reality show cash cow, The Jersey Shore, did not only just illuminate the world to the intricacies and conundrums of the guido universe but it also exposed JWOWW's breasts to the world. It is nothing short of shameful that these hand sculpted beauties had been hidden from the world only until recently.
Have you ever gone to an art museum? Probably not, but if you have, you are supposed to look at pieces of art and analyze them. You are supposed to try to feel and empathize what the artist was experiencing at that time. Well, I would say that JWOWW's boobs are perfect pieces of art. I can only hope to see them hanging on the walls of the Met one day.
Some people get emotionally moved by pieces of art. These visual expressions just have the ability to move people and change them forever. After I watched the premier of The Jersey Shore, I realized that I had been crying the whole time. It was like a euphoric breakthrough. I felt as though I had seen the face of God or the second coming of John Belushi. Everything made sense, the world was perfect once again.
I just wish the jewelers weren't so insulted when I went to them asking if they could make a golden mold of her boobs based on screen shots for my multiple gold chains. And it's an even better thing that I live somewhat close to her. I would hate to have to pilgrimage thousands of miles just to see the actual supple beauties in person. But if Muslims could do it, so can I.
And I want to meet the creator. The architect of these celestial powers that now control my life. The surgeon, or should I say father of JWOWW's upper torso perfections will have his portrait permanently hung on my wall... forever. He must have cried throughout the entire procedure. He must have felt like the crazy kid with video camera next door to Kevin Spacey in American Beauty... unable to handle all of the beauty in the world staring him in the face.
I just wanted to remind you all that even though JWOWW is not very attractive, her perfectly hand made breasts make up for her insanity, manipulation, and inner ugliness. I'm sure the majority of the male reader population of this blog would completely agree with me.
And I hope you all didn't enjoy my old writings, because now I will simply be writing about celebrities and how their body parts should be worshiped and idolized. What do you think of JWOW's magnificent features?