MTV's reality show cash cow, The Jersey Shore, did not only just illuminate the world to the intricacies and conundrums of the guido universe but it also exposed JWOWW's breasts to the world. It is nothing short of shameful that these hand sculpted beauties had been hidden from the world only until recently.
Have you ever gone to an art museum? Probably not, but if you have, you are supposed to look at pieces of art and analyze them. You are supposed to try to feel and empathize what the artist was experiencing at that time. Well, I would say that JWOWW's boobs are perfect pieces of art. I can only hope to see them hanging on the walls of the Met one day.
Some people get emotionally moved by pieces of art. These visual expressions just have the ability to move people and change them forever. After I watched the premier of The Jersey Shore, I realized that I had been crying the whole time. It was like a euphoric breakthrough. I felt as though I had seen the face of God or the second coming of John Belushi. Everything made sense, the world was perfect once again.
I just wish the jewelers weren't so insulted when I went to them asking if they could make a golden mold of her boobs based on screen shots for my multiple gold chains. And it's an even better thing that I live somewhat close to her. I would hate to have to pilgrimage thousands of miles just to see the actual supple beauties in person. But if Muslims could do it, so can I.
And I want to meet the creator. The architect of these celestial powers that now control my life. The surgeon, or should I say father of JWOWW's upper torso perfections will have his portrait permanently hung on my wall... forever. He must have cried throughout the entire procedure. He must have felt like the crazy kid with video camera next door to Kevin Spacey in American Beauty... unable to handle all of the beauty in the world staring him in the face.
I just wanted to remind you all that even though JWOWW is not very attractive, her perfectly hand made breasts make up for her insanity, manipulation, and inner ugliness. I'm sure the majority of the male reader population of this blog would completely agree with me.
And I hope you all didn't enjoy my old writings, because now I will simply be writing about celebrities and how their body parts should be worshiped and idolized.
What do you think of JWOW's magnificent features?
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Comments (27)
her boobs are fake just like that stupid show. i rather have real ones
i always thought her boob job was kind of bad looking
@rebekah1191@xanga - I agree.
Her boobs are just like any other big fake boobs.
@NeverHeather@xanga - Just like any other fake ones...? You mean men will be able to tell but still not care? Then yes, yes they are just like all the other fake boob jobs.
I can't say I prefer real or fake, I've only dealt with real. But I have no problem looking at that picture. Well, parts of it anyway.
Amen. If I can touch and paint them like a jackson pollock then they are real to me. It almost makes the show worth watching on mute.
Well said, sir, and sirs above. Clearly the ladies don't appreciate JWOWW's ladies, which is a shame.
@Super_Andy@xanga - it's not that I don't appreciate them. I just hate that now, I have a reason to be jealous of JWOWW. :/
@mcmeister89 - I'm just saying I don't see anything spectacular that sets them apart from other fake boobs. Then again, I am a straight female with small boobs so I am probably just jealous.
her boobs can be a cup holder. big plus!
@NeverHeather@xanga - Well, not all fake boobs are the same and they are influenced slightly by the natural shape of the breast. You could make the same argument for your boobs. What sets them apart from all the other girls in your bra size? Probably not a whole lot with the exception of nipple/areola appearance.
It is probably just the fact that you're a straight female that doesn't oogle breasts like men. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you're not jealous.
@mcmeister89 - That's true, and thanks for the benefit of the doubt :]
I bet you like her big boobs
http://wealthandhealth.co.cc/free_download
I can't get over the Jersey Shore/ridiculous nickname/horrible personality/not much of face thing. It's as if too great of a convergence of "suck" has descended upon what should otherwise be a great and biologically-reinforced moment of joy. I mean, even if Satan himself had a taint made of the purest gold, inlaid with the most beautiful intaglio of the first and last years of the universe, wherein all the secrets and mysteries of existence unfolded like a child's storybook illustrated by five Van Goghs bonded together by a lasso of diamonds, and capable of producing the music of Mozart with every wayward resonance, making symphony after symphony collide in the most sublime cacophony humankind has ever imagined, it's still Satan's taint. The same rule applies here - Mark of Cain effect for the guido community, if you will.
Her boobs seem a little bit too big, maybe a cup size down would be better. But of course the typical pervert guy wouldn't agree haha. I fucking hate this show with a passion, I think I hate guidos more than I hate emo kids.
I don't like her face. She looks prematurely aged.
@SodomyClown@xanga - From neck down, it's allll gooood. Fake or not, those knockers are spectacular.
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - you. You're cool in my book.
Who the hell are you and why in god's name do you keep posting shit?
I don't care for her nor her fake boobs. They are disgusting looking!
Fake boobs are not supposed to hang that far apart, or have such a balloon-like curvature showing in the skin around the upper boob. A true plastic artist would have augmented them closer together, creating a slight upside down v effect toward the middle, and have made sure that the upper boob tapered subtly down toward the nipple. Yes, fake boobs are conveniently perky, but they should not constantly look like you are wearing a pushup bra.
Then again... you get what you pay for, right?
I'm gonna go with NO on this one. It's a really bad fake job.
(And for the record, I both HAVE breasts, and ADORE nice ones.)
Wow, you are pretty petty haha. You got so offended about the shower video that you actually wrote this entry? It's okay to calm down.
See, this post is degrading (obviously because that's how you intended it to be), but not many woman are freaking out about it. You have to pick your battles.
Jesus Christ, dude, get a life. Why does Mancouch keep allowing your shit posts to go up?
... it's the same reason Mancouch keeps allowing crazy hormonal girls to
rant and vent about their own insecurities on a blog "meant for guys"
and try to keep up with satire if you can
@SodomyClown@xanga - it's just this photo. i find a few of her photos cute,