For as long as I live on this planet and am part of this society that I am slowly beginning to hate more and more, I will never understand the concept of drunken sluts (male and female). Well, I do understand the concept, sadly, but I will never understand how these people do not see the errors of their ways.
I know a lot of people who drink and drink and drink, then sleep with whatever moves close to them. If that person has compatible sexual organs then BAM! Moves begin to be made and bad decisions become optimal ones. It's kind of sickening how this so acceptable these days.
People have almost stopped to care about the embarrassment and stereotypes that come with just "selling" everything for free. But your mommies and daddies were right, no one really is going to want to buy the ice cream truck when you're just giving the Popsicles away for free. You will not find happiness or love living this lifestyle. And you will most definitely not fill the void in your life that is causing you to strive for such attention.
And do people not understand alcoholism and the dangers of getting drunk every night? I don't think so. Maybe it's youth? But when you party every night, searching for a bed to call home, eventually you're going to get in trouble. You're going to drink too much or someone is really going to take advantage of you. But no one really seems to care about consequences anymore. They don't think about the what-if's.
People in this group have been filled with apathy towards life, relationships, and values. Something negative definitely has come out of everyone's parents getting divorced. You can't even argue with me about that! It has taught/shown the younger generation that relationships can be devastating and treacherous. Why would anyone want to waste time going through a heartbreak when they can just have what they want for one night and move on with their lives...if they even remember it.
Now I know for a fact that this post is going to get me some real scornful messages about how I probably never get with girls or that I'm jealous of the lifestyle or that I don't know enough about divorce to judge it or that I am just a bitter ex boyfriend, but the sad truth is that none of those really are true. Regardless, I still find myself unhappy with my generation and their values.
How is anyone going to find decent relationships that will work forever, when no one is willing to take chances on them anymore? People would rather just sleep with a person when they are drunk and it's socially acceptable (it's not though...we're all watching and judging you whether you like it or not) than take the chances and hardships that come with the dedications and trials of a relationship.
Even just ten years ago, sex was something that was achieved between two people. It wasn't usually the first thing that sparked off a relationship. I know there are many different circumstances but it's true - sex was valued and respected. It was seen as the powerful force that it truly is. Now, it has been stripped and devalued. It's sad that kissing and making out has, or seems to have, more romantic value and worth between two people than just running through the bases several times in a night. It is as if we are just using each other as a drug, a fix to forget about our broken homes and questionable futures.
What will our children have to endure when people are tired of whoring around and decide that they too want to have families? I feel sorry for those families. They will be doomed from the start and despite what we all may hope, you this is true. We all know that lifestyle of just sleeping around will probably be embedded in the subconsciousness of these people for the rest of their lives.
As a college student, I love going out and drinking and making the occasional bad decision. It builds character. But living in a world of bad decisions builds
bad character and makes for an improper way to lead life. This culture that has lost all focus on the emotional connection, and I find it exhausting. All that remains is sex. And you cannot even tell me that drunken/sloppy sex has any comparison to the sex that is had between two people who are sober and conscious of the bond between them.
The voices of every generation often see theirs' as the worst but at this moment, I would rather live in any other besides mine. Maybe it's just the culture or the state I live in, maybe I need a change of scenery. But I know that I will never embrace this hollow lifestyle of stupid choices and pointless hook-ups made while being more intoxicated than Kenny Rogers.
And don't come away from this post thinking that I am bashing hooking up and the culture behind it. One can only find what they are looking for through trial and error. But there is a difference between carefully handling the fire and just thoughtlessly playing with it.
What are your thoughts on this growing lifestyle?
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Comments (93)
I completely agree with u. That's why a lot of these girls are getting murdered these days bc they go home w some guy they met at a bar.
I wish I could rec this a million times.
It's not really that acceptable to be honest. Past the first few weeks of freshman year, having rampant drunken sex with unsightly and morally questionable individuals is frowned upon.
Also, as someone who partook in the occasional hookup, drunk and sober, I'd say what you portray here is an extreme. Most people aren't getting drunk EVERY night and when they are, people usually say something about it.
Next, you talk about it like this is a "new" thing. I'm pretty sure it's not. Given the stories I've gotten from parents, uncles, aunts, co-workers and just all around pop culture, sex has been rampant for a long time. I mean, in case you don't remember, the 60's were all about free sex. All the time. With lots of people. The 70's were also pretty liberal when it came to sex. In fact, it wasn't till the start of the HIV/AIDS scare and the Reagan ultra-conservatism that sex began to slow down a bit. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, I'm all for moderation. However, you can't assume that this drunken-hookup lifestyle is new to this generation. You might even say it's more reserved than some past generations.
Lastly, I'll say that the only people doing this aren't just emotionally confused people who don't know what they want from a relationship. I knew full well what I wanted when I had my year of manwhoring. I wanted women, safely of course. I had my fun. I don't regret anything about it at all. I actually give a lot of my sexual experience to it, which my girlfriends thanks me for regularly.
If you go into it with the right mindset (not looking for a soulmate or serious relationship) , then it is perfectly reasonable to assume you can have a positive experience and get something out of it other than legal troubles and an STD.
I don't like drunk hook ups, I've never had one and don't intend to. I typically don't get along with people that are okay with giving their private parts out to whoever comes by.
I don't think it's a growing trend to be honest with you. There is just more awarenes of this lifestyle. Also as you said, you are in college. A lot of your friends are single and are recently out of their home. Many people spend a few of those first years out of home experimenting.
Think of the 60's and 70s, though. Things got pretty out of hand in those days... but for the most part, the hippies got old. What happened to them? They're regular people with families and spouses. I'm not saying that nobody lives a lifestyle of hooking up, but most people grow out of it.
It's also worth mentioning that sometimes the hooking up lifestyle leads into the next lifestyle. I met my wife while drunk at a party and went home w/ her that night. Five years later, I'm happy and haven't looked back since.
I take it you've read the PUA guidebook? (Pick Up Artist)
It was a fad that swept the nation - they even made a reality TV show where guys were trained to be PUAs (I've heard this is what they call themselves).
And, as other people have commented, it's more of a 'phase' than anything else. Most people out-grow it once they realize how little it gives them......but it's kind of like a drug addiction: hooking up is what gets you through the next day, but doesn't last a lot longer than that. Sad thing is, most people who are 'addicted' just want to get through the next day.
I feel that getting drunk and then sleeping around is both unhealthy emotionally and physically, as well as dangerous. I don't really have a problem with sober sleeping around, as long as they are practicing safe sex.
i really liked this, this definately needed to be said.
i come from both sides too... and that culture is really terrible... and too many people support it and uphold it and hide in it.... and its just not good, every single one of those people need to stop holding it up and need to get to the core and not make it sound like its so fuckin sweet because its not and it hurts and it destroys people. and i think everythings intimate.. but when im drunk you can get in so easy, its like, terrible..
I know exactly what you mean... I think it's pathetic when I go on Facebook & the same people post the same statuses every day of the week about what they're drinking, what bar they're out at or how drunk they are.. Don't they realize it's Tuesday? lol There's more to life than alcohol and drunken sex.
My roommate used to be this person. I'm sure that at 24 she's slept with over 20 dudes... she used to tell me about how she went out and got with guys like it was nothing.
I just don't feel like I can respect someone who does that, no matter if they're a young man or a young woman. If she had been in 20 or so loving relationships.. maybe. But really, how often does that happen at this age?
I don't drink, and I don't do hook-ups. I try not to judge people who do, but when it's the same people doing the same thing over and over and over... doesn't that get old at some point? smh.
I don't participate in this. When I see my peers do, it disheartens me.
Mm, I don't like the thought of losing my virginity to my current boyfriend anymore.. knowing that this relationship is only temporary.. and that he'll eventually get bored of me.
We're in a relationship, which is different from casual hook ups. But I don't like the thought of sleeping with someone who lacks commitment.
why does hooking up/sex has to be such a big deal? you gotta test drive before you buy the car...and i think people in their 20s should take advantage of their youth and hook up as much as possible. what's the rush to settle down? people live well into their 80s these days. do you really want to be in a relationship with the same person for 60+ years?
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - over 20 for a 24 yr old is not a lot...
@ChristineZee - I feel like under ten should be the goal for any young woman. I don't see any problem with not spreading legs for just any tool who can sweet talk a girl with some drinks and some money. I personally prefer to have a decent knowledge about the former lovers that the person I'm going to bed with has had, as well as the knowledge of a thorough std check on said person. Oh, and being in love with them helps too.
@starcrossedloversdivine@xanga - when did love make sex better? just because someone has a lot of sexual partners does not make them any less respectable. you ever consider that women might just enjoy sex as much as men do? i
@ChristineZee - I'm sure that they do, I sure like it. But I'm not talking double standard here, really. Men who have a lot of sexual partners are just as disgusting. That's not what this blog is about, it's about drunken hookups.
Let's look at the raw hard truth here: condoms don't protect against everything, and most people don't think to use them anymore when they're in a drunken rush to the finish line. If you don't care enough about yourself or the other person to get to know them much deeper than just the length of their dick, that's simply not respectable in my opinion.
Drunken hookups are simply the excuse used by insecure people as an excuse for their actions.
I went through this "phase". I have no regrets. I learned from it. It helped me realize what I truly want, a solid relationship with a guy I love, not a heartless drunken hook-up.
i completely agree.. I wish i could run away from this generation. I hate being associated with it and being so disconnected to people my age. I have nothing in common with almost anybody and it depresses the hell out of me.
Why are you talking about this like it's a new thing? I'm pretty sure the 60s were all about free hippie sex. and while I do think our generation devalues sex, what you're writing about is too extreme. Most people people aren't in bars every night sleeping with the first thing that moves. Now, if you'd written about people sleeping together too soon, sure, I'd agree.
THANK YOU.
a great freaking post. i wish more people thought like this.
i love you.
i've been saying this forever.
Thank you for this! I found myself agreeing with the things you were saying.
Alcohol is a crutch people use to hide their insecurities and doubts.
That's all it's ever been.
Drunk sex is an extension of that.
But I do agree with you 100%
i disagree.