Among the many incongruities that are embedded in the gender roles between men and women are
permanent tattoos. I had some time to mull over how I felt about them when I recently accompanied a friend to an appointment she made with a tattoo artist. She's a girl, and she wanted a large cross on her back in monochrome. Not even a few days after the appointment and the subsequent healing process, she immediately said she was full of regret. And it got me thinking, are certain tattoos
ever a good idea?
First, I feel like I should say this as a guy: I find certain tattoos on women bold and sexy. There's a prevailing thought that women with tattoos are sluts, with comparisons to adult film stars abound. But as with everything else about people, it's really not that simplistic. I've always found that certain tattoos can show a real sincerity and confidence. When I look at a really nice tattoo, the hopeless-romantic-sissy in me brings me back to sentimental moments with friends and loved ones. I've never understood why it was considered "trashy" for women to simply express themselves in this way. I mean, if the Internet is proof, for every woman with a "trashy" tattoo, there's an oafish guy with
an even trashier tattoo.
But I do believe that there are limits. Notice how I've sprinkled the previous paragraph with the word "certain." What my friend did was absolutely moronic, and she admits that. The main problem I have with her situation is the lack of thought she put into it. Honestly, she mainly got the tattoo out of peer pressure. She's an artist herself so she designed the cross on large sketch paper a day before the appointment. I wasn't a fan of the design, but I didn't have time to give my input. In fact,
nobody she knew did because she wanted to keep it a secret until everything was finished. I asked her why she wanted a cross of all things and especially of that size and she simply responded with "it looked cool."
By
certain tattoos, I mean anything that was given at least a modicum of thought. Tattoos are a huge commitment, both financially and socially. Anything that's too big seems more like a cry for attention than an accessory. Do tattoos have to be personally meaningful? That again depends on the person, but I think it's safe to say that it's always a good idea to avoid cliches like Asian symbols and Disney characters.
So I want to foster a discussion for the few guys who are in the same boat that I am - guys who find tattoos on women attractive if done tastefully. I would ask the same question to women who find men with tattoos attractive, but our chauvinistic society lets us men get away with these things more easily.
If you're a fan of tattoos on the opposite sex, what are some parameters you set on what constitutes a "tolerable" tattoo?
If you're not a fan and tattoos are a deal-breaker for you, what would be some minimum requirements for you to change your mind?
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Comments (70)
I'm pretty much the same as you. If it's generic like tribal and the person only got it to "look cool", then that's a no no. However, if the tattoo has a significant meaning and story behind it, then that's fine. I can only tolerate a few, though. If their whole body is covered with them, then that's a turn-off.
On either gender, I think some tattoos are hot, some are neutral, and some bother me.
I don't like tattoos that depict grotesque images, are of names, or are by nature disrespectful. It's one thing to get art on one's body, but it's another when it seems aggressive. Names, well, I usually find them pretty tacky.
I also don't like it when the person is completely covered in tattoos. I think they're best used to accent the skin, not to camouflage it completely.
Tattoos that I find hot are usually a single, neutral color, and of the tribal design. I also think the person has to have a certain body type (read: muscles) before I *really* like seeing the tattoos.
All of the others? Unless I think the tattoo is ugly, or unless they have a unique story behind them, I'm pretty much apathetic. I agree with the OP, in that the cliche things (like characters) get old, even if I sometimes really enjoy the Chinese symbols. As long as they have a specific meaning for the person, I think they can be neat.
In general I just don't want too many tattoos on anyone. More then a few and you end up looking trashy.
I wouldn't get a tattoo myself. I have thought about it and it just seems tacky. When i was a kid i used to draw on myself, but would i have wanted to have them on my skin forever? No. In my opinion, the skin holds enough beauty! If I want to look at something pretty/meaningful all the time I'll put it on my computer's background, put it on my wall or just have a stroll outside.
When i did have thoughts about getting tattoos though, i wanted a dragon on the side of my body.
I love tattoos on men!!!
To me, tattoos should have meaning. They shouldn't be last minute ideas or spur of the moment decisions. I think tattoos done with thought and that have meaning are beautiful. And depending...I find them sexy as hell on men and women. There are exceptions, of course.
Well, if a tattoo is gonna be on me for the rest of my life, it better damn well mean something!
On that note, I have a small treble clef on my left shoulder and have never regretted it
I'm partial to tattoos. One reason for this is, as you mentioned before, some people get them simply because they "look cool." Tattoo's used to be badass back in the day, and over the years the meaning behind permanent ink has depleted significantly. It's not uncommon to see yuppies, tweens, and hipsters rocking mustache tattoos on their fingers, or obscure asian characters running along the small of their backs. Everytime i look at lil wayne, i get curious as to how he will look in 20 years; it won't be a pretty sight, and not many people can disagree with that statement. As for women and tats, it can definately be attractive if its well thought out and has meaning behind it. As for size, it doesn't matter that much, but it has to suit the girl. I know someone who has flowers attached to stems wrapping around her torso...the tat is massive, but it looks amazing. And i know of this girl with an inscription on her arm and, although small, it makes her look like a sailor. It's a matter of choice.
I don't like skull tattoos on men. I enjoy artistic tattoos that represent the man's personality but honestly skulls and other death-related things just aren't attractive. Also, they usually don't have much meaning.
I have a 5 general rules when it comes to tattoos on girls
1. Does it have personal significance? If it doesn't have some meaning to your life or if you didn't design it yourself then its a turn off, you do something like this due to who you are not just to be cool.
2. Is it big enough to detract from other elements of their appearance? If it takes up a significant amount of body space like a full back piece or a shoulder sleeve it gives me the sense that either they have a personality far too different from me or that they need way too much attention.
3. Where are they? certain areas for tatoos either look akward to me (like the foot or collar bone) or are just a general turn off (like the tramp stamp). Generally the ankle, inside wrist, shoulder/ upper back, on the neck or on the hip are fine.
4. How many / do multiple tatoos match ? I don't like a alot of tatoos, I'd say my limit is like five depending on size and location. The other thing is if you have multiple tattoos is that they need to have some sense of commonality. Your body itself is rather consistent you don't usually see a person with akward differences in body parts (provided they didnt have a birth defect) and people usually dress with some sense of coordination so you should think that something permanent should also have that amount of coordination.
5. What are they? names of family members, personal designs, military tatoos, crosses, scripture, small stars/butterflies/music notes and the like are all acceptable. Pretty much the big three for turn offs are: Cartoon characters, anything extremely gothic or occult, & asian script (this applies to anyone not of asian descent or who is not fluent in that language) .
I've gotten flamed for mentioning this before on a similar post here a while back but I don't think these are unreasonable
i believe that, like almost anything else, tattoos have the ability to range between looking really beautiful or really terrible. but, i would never, ever look at any tattoos as a 'deal-breaker', or anything even remotely close to that. i believe that tattoos are an AMAZING way to express yourself and show your uniqueness, individuality, and creativity through ideas that come from your heart, soul, and mind. also, i think that there is too much unnecessary emphasis and stress put onto the fact that it is something that will be on your body forever, what if you don't like it in the future, etc. - because even if you end up not being into it in a few years or so, it is still something that WAS at one point in time something you loved, something that meant a lot to you, enough to get it inked onto your body; it's part of your history and therefore part of you, and no one should regret that. plus, if you really do despise it, you can always get it either removed (although it is a pain in the ass) or, my favourite option, get it covered up with a new tattoo that you DO really love.
I basically agree with you. Two contrasting examples: My roommate has a cross on her foot, but its so small you probably wouldn't notice it if she didn't point it out. Conversley, I saw a woman at Disney World with some kind of vine-like thing going up her leg. It made her look like she had deformed veins. Which do you think I find more acceptable? :p
I don't generally have a problem with tattoos unless they're on someone's face. That's a little odd to me and just not something I would ever do.
My husband asked me about what I thought about him getting another tattoo (he had one when we got married), and I told him that unless it was a picture of a naked woman or something really offensive, I don't really care. He's in the Navy, so he is limited to their location anyhow. I think he has 7 or 8 tattoos now (I've lost count, since a friend of ours is a tattoo artist).
I have my own tattoo on my back, that I just got recently.
My personal thing about tats on anyone is this: As long as you got it because it meant something to you & only for yourself, it's cool. *I* may not like it but it's not my body so I cant judge. As long as it's not offensive to others, do what you want. I do think it's stupid when people get fab tattoos or jump on the bandwagon with some (like those damn Ed Hardy looking tattoos).
As for deal breakers, probably some girl's name on a guy that's not a memorial tattoo. It's stupid to tattoo your SO's name on yourself because you never know what will happen with your relationship. Many consider it a jinx. Now if you guys pick a design you BOTH like & get it done, that's different. Even if you break up, it's not as bad,
My tattoo is the Kanji symbol for Moon with 3 stars. I got it because the moon is in my star sign & it's a personal thing for me & the 3 stars because it's my lucky number & I was born on the 3rd of July. I'm pretty sure there are many people with the same Kanji tattoo out there but I got mine for a personal reason, not because Kanji symbols are cool. And I double checked to make sure it was written correctly. I heard so many embarrassing stories about people getting symbol tats because they look cool until they find out the meaning. It costs more to remove a tat than it does to get one.
I love tattoos; but I think that when getting a certain tat, it should be something special to you and very carefully thought out. B/c you'll hafta live with that for the rest of your life. Don't get something you'll end up regretting. Also, when it comes to someone going "overboard" with ink, it's not my place to say, y'know? I mean... it's their body and their life. What they do with it, is none of my business. Another thing, when it comes dating someone who has ink, I'm dating them... not their tattoos... so it's kinda something I would get use to.
i would get a tattoo because i want to, not because what a guy thinks. if it bothers the guy then too bad, it's my body not his.
I love sleeve tattoos on a guy but girls I believe look better with smaller, more intricate tattoos and not too many of them. Oh, and don't even get me started on the "tramp stamp". Haha.
I love girls with tattoos!!! But then again, I have 8 of them myself and have a crap load more planned out. As far as a lot of people saying "As long as they have meaning" stuff...well, you don't know if a tattoo has meaning for a person unless you ask. Most of my tattoos are not obviously meaningful to those around me but if you ask, then I'll gladly explain. So, don't judge someone with tattoos saying it's trashy when it could very well be something extremely personal to them cause you don't know the full story...unless you ask. :D
Some tattoos are cool, some are just pointless.
tattoos are cool if you're like a 70 year old guy and you have some faded out illegible thing on your arm which you got back in the army during the Korean war or some shit.
Tattoos to me are artwork on the body. On the opposite sex I find any tattoo is good unless it's gang related. I wouldn't judge a person on their tattoos because they tell a story about their life depending on the person. Some people go through phases in their life and tattoos show that. Some might have gotten a stupid tattoo when they were younger that they now regret, but again it tells a story. We're not ones to judge.
I find that, when it comes to tattoos, people are very set in their ways.
I don't really care if anyone has a tattoo. Sure I think some are stupid (hipster 'staches, triangles, other stupid crap like that) but when it comes down to it, you're going to be the one looking down at your wrinkly mustache tattoo when you're 60. You'll be the one regretting it. Not me.
I love tattoos. I find them to be incredibly expressive. I have a list I plan on getting and they all have very detailed meaning. I don't care what anyone says about my tattoos. I got them for myself not for you. I have a tattoo of Marilyn Manson on my arm. Yeah, I know. People can't figure out who it is. And when they do they always tell me I'm going to regret it. Truth is, I won't. I thought very hard about that tattoo. It was something I spent at least 3 years thinking over. Which means I was totally devoted when I got it two years ago and I will always be. I don't care what you think about my tattoos. If you don't like them than you don't have to associate with me.
props to you for posting on a topic that was intended for debate and question and not criticism.
With that said: I'm attracted to girls with tasteful, reasoned for tattoos. Not some barb wire or generic tramp stamp crap. Hearing the story and reasoning behind it makes it that much more attractive. Few done well is powerful, a lot done poorly or in a generic way is dis-tasteful and "slutty."
Anything with names is tacky to me.
I don't like tattoos with color for some reason.
Is it distracting? If you have to wear a ski mask in order for me NOT to see it, its distracting, and better have an incredible reason to be on the face for me to go, COOL.
I can't get a tattoo without meaning. My hatchetman was my first, and although many think the Clowns are stupid, I wanted the message of the Dark Carnival (being who you are, doing the best with what ya got, and remembering there's something better on the other side) on me for life. I don't regret it (it's been 5 years, but when I start to get wrinkly I'm sure I will), but I do need to fix it up a bit.
My next and likely last tattoo will be The Crow outline on my right inner wrist, and that means even more to me than my current tattoo. The story of that movie got me through a lot of tough things in my life, and between the accident with Brandon Lee and what the cast and his family, especially his fiance, went through, I have no problem marking up my skin to acknowledge their memory. Also, his strength and determination through his martial arts training is my inspiration to get my black belt and not give up on it.
On anyone, I think tattos are awesome as long as they truly mean something to the person, and that's that.
Honestly? Not a big fan of large tattoos, but if they're meaningful in some way (or just look awesome), I'll give it a free pass.
Exceptions include: Chinese characters (unless you actually KNOW what they mean), names, and generic tattoos. Those are all instant nos.