This is a picture of a new crucifix at an Oklahoma Catholic church. It has caused some controversy given the fact that Jesus appears to have a giant cock. That dude should be in pr0n.
Church officials claim that it is simply supposed to be his distended stomach, but this hasn't stopped many churchgoers from leaving the parish over this (but not over rampant child rape ... interesting) and the ones that remain from being super pissed.
Hey! Oklahoma Catholics! It's a compliment! The maker of the crucifix was simply noting that your savior was sporting some mighty fine artillery down there. What? Are you saying that he wasn't swinging a tree branch down there? Are you trying to say that Jesus wasn't lugging around grapefruit sized balls? Then what was Jesus packing? I think this is a very important question for the legitimacy of your religion.
So let's say you're right and Jesus wasn't hung like an ox (let's just say). Do you think he was shopping in the kids section when it came to purchasing cups? Maybe that explains the whole ... you know ... child rape thing. Those priests were just trying to be closer to Jesus.
I'm just saying this controversy brings up some very important questions that demand answers, Catholics. And if you're not up to the challenge, well, lord knows I am.
Personally, I think this crucifix is a revelation.
(heh heh see what I did there?)
What do you think Jesus was packing?