Quality vs Looks. It seems as though in the course of human dating, there are two things that men want in a women. We will generalize these two things into the broad category of quality and looks. Quality will be the umbrella terminology that encompasses personality, character, education, and socioeconomic status. Looks on the other hand is just how banging a girl is. Now for argument sake or simplicity lets say that these two things, quality and looks, have equal weight for a guy when deciding a potential wife. And for more simplicity say it is always a one to one trade off. I actually don't think it is though. There are definitely more quality girls with more looks than lookers with more quality in my experience.
You maybe asking yourselves why am I and my friend outside the line of best fit. As many people believe of themselves, people tend to believe they are always above average. This is what we call outliers. I believe i am just a little better than my homeboy because i always have to one up him as well. You on the other hand being the general majority will stay on the curve. Oh and your last bf was a bit of an outlier too. Good job for you.
I have looked at my friends as well and for the most part the hot girls don't have as much personality, don't do well in groups and are just not as fun to hang out. In my opinion, they just never had to really learn to develop more character, because they were loved/given attention regardless. I guess a degree of compensation has to the reason for this trade off between looks and quality. People with one dont feel like they necessarily have to work on the other. But there are outliers, like you awesome xangan folks, who you know have both quality and looks. Ignore my prior comment about u and your ex bf.
So there is this general give and take and I am one for quality. I cant stand talking to a pretty girl that doesn't have any personality or character. Its like talking to a wall waiting for it to throw back a response or two. So i am looking for that outlier. That girl that has the looks and the quality. At this point you may be asking why are u asking for a higher quality girl than you are and better looking. Well according to ladder theory, a guy is allowed to make a jump of 2 rungs or points up. That being said if you feel like you are an outlier yourself. Come holler.
What do you go for? More on the quality side or more for the looks? Where do u stack up?
azndood4you@xanga
True
Comments (29)
A guy is allowed to jump up 2 rungs?
at the moment its looks.
@azndood4you@xanga - Hi, nice to meet you moron. You can call me God.
I have to disagree with you that quality and look are two competing
factors.
I have met gorgeous girls that are so down to earth. On the other hand,
I have
met not so pretty girls that you don't want to talk to ever again.
Onto the quality vs. looks thing, I guess I am more for quality. It doesn't matter to me how good looking a guy is if he is a douchebag
i'd go for more of the quality side instead of looks but then i'm kind of shallow.
and i also find that the people i've met recently, the more prettier people are more nicer than the not so good looking people, they're all angry and bitter. you'd figure since they don't have much going on outside, they'd be better on the inside. nope.......
i agree that most very good looking people are just plain stupid and don't do well in groups. i believe that looks are important but i'm not going to go for a guy who's very good looking and when he opens his mouth, there's no intelligence/integrity/personality coming out of mouth when he speaks. that's a major turnoff for me. i believe that you don't have to be most good looking person and have an awesome personality and that would make you attractive. i'm all about the charm in a person. if you ever noticed that most charming people aren't the most attractive person but because of quality over looks shines through, it makes that person irresistible. i mean don't get me wrong, there are very good looking people are a intelligent and good people but that's very far and in between.
quality :)
i'd prefer a girl who was down to earth, funny, sarcastic, but rather plain looking and even small chested rather than hella banging. i think it's also cuz i don't wanna be some jealous psycho that gets paranoid 'cos so many people are hitting on her. :(
@schallerbrandon@xanga
hey man i really appreciate your long comment. i make jumps in my writing dont proof read my stuff and i blog quite lazily. I will work on making it more legit when i blog for like mancouch or soemthing
@pure_dasani@xanga - what i am trying to say is not that quality and looks are competing factors, but it seems to be a trade off. Girls with more of one have less of the other. Sure some people have more of both, but yeah. Thanks for reading though and i hope i dont sound like a complete shallow moron haha
Quality, but like you, I'm looking for the outlier. I already know that I have good traits and potential, but I do know I'm lacking something. Probably more of the looks. Granted, I've had to learn a couple of things along the way to put myself closer to the outlier, but people are definitely judgmental.
On top of that, I'd say the interaction and cohesion is a big factor. Even if I meet quality people, sometimes they think they are the better outlier and want better. What does that make them? Or is that a whole separate argument.
Anyways, I liked your visual. I think I'll share it with some people.
lotsa words and even a graph/scatter-plot to boot...
definitely not reading
I'd go for something between "Your Girls" and "Your future wife" probably. I don't really compromise on quality.
I admit that I'm initially attracted to looks, but if there's no quality, then that would be a big problem. Besides, who would want to date someone who doesn't have personality? As long as you have confidence and portray yourself who you are, then you can definitely stand out. The looks would be a bonus! :D
@azndood4you@xanga - lol... but i think this only applies to ppl in the extreme... like if one is totally hot cuz they invent 100% of time n effert to his/her own look then this person probably dont have a lot of quality.. Or extreme talented ppl who can careless abt their look cuz they r constantly in the library or lab or whereever that they dont social with other ppl much. They would probably hv much intelligence but not so much on the lookx ~
Lol I was probably a 4/10 in high school and middle school, but people thought I was hilarious and I was often the jokester in a group of girls. Now that I'm in college and I've learned to dress myself, do makeup, do my hair, and walk like I know I'm hot, I'm probably a 6-7? I'm not sure, some guys think I'm "really cute" to "fucking hot."
Anyways, I feel like my personality has deteriorated since my "ugly" days. I just laugh at what other people say, but it's so hard for me to think of interesting things that amuse people. Guys develop crushes on me and pursue me, and I usually reject them except for the occasional funny, cute guy.
But what am I supposed to do to improve my personality? I'm not going to go back to wearing ponytails and sweats everyday just so guys will think I'm disgusting and I'll have to make jokes to fit in.
I don't compromise on quality. I'm just not interested in women who care about how good they look to guys who's drive to accomplish is primarily below the belt. Nor can I feel good about being around one who can be charmed by one.
"Well according to ladder theory, a guy is allowed to make a jump of 2 rungs or points up. That being said if you feel like you are an outlier yourself. Come holler."
lol...cute
trying to follow this post was like trying to follow a novel written by a 3 year old.
quality is far more important. and i wouldn't attempt to try and tell you where i fall on your chart; pretty subjective i'd say.
From observing my guy friends I feel like most guys go for looks even if they say that they don't. If a hot girl comes with quality its just a bonus.
I think that a guy's tolerance for a girl's lack of quality also depends on how hot she is. The hotter she is the more bullshit they will put up with.I've seen tons of my guy friends date a girl because she's hot even though she was a door knob but I've rarely seen guys date a girl because she's got great qualities.It sucks but I always see it happen.wth are you talking about? i'm hot AND i'm smart! I've got it going onnnnnn!
How true! Good-looking girls tend to be shallower in character... and your explanation makes sense (they get the attention naturally, so there's no need to develop character as much). Conversely, less-good-looking girls tend to be richer in character, to compensate.
Ideally, we look for the rare outlier... ppl with both character and looks, but they are incredibly rare... it's like the far end of a Gaussian distribution curve. And most of those "gems" are normally taken anyway.
As for me, on one hand, character is what counts on the long term, but on the other hand, she needs to be attractive enough for me to stay interested in the early stage of dating. Dilemma indeed considering that realistically, I can't have both worlds.
There are definitely more quality
girls with more looks than lookers with more quality in my
experience.
loooooooooooool mang you are a dang good writter
Well, I've never been one to say, "His personality shined through the moment I saw him!", so I can understand why most guys are attracted to attractive women. However, some people find that attractive women and men usually lack substance, depth of character, and personality. Sure, there are some attractive people out there who can be categorized as well-rounded, having looks and substance, but to reiterate what has already been said, they are rare.
Quality beats looks any day, however, some redeeming physical quality mixed with a good personality doesn't hurt. :) I say let the pretty, shallow, self-absorbed people hang out with each other so they can slather each other with empty compliments while thinking they look better than everyone else.
Great post, btw!
In my experience, the majority of guys (under 35) go for looks. That would explain why at a size 00 I was hit on and stared at daily but now at a positively obese size 7 I only get hit on on Myspace! (face shot).
By the time most guys in my generation are willing to look past that, I'll be aging and even my face won't be worth looking at. I intend to take pride in being the crazy cat lady.
Great post though, don't take the comment personally.
I'm looking for a warm, wet hole.