Wednesday, 17 March 2010

  • Seen Any Leprechauns Today?



    As all, or most of you should know, today is St. Patrick's Day. It's that one special day when everyone gets to wear their greenest greens, go out and get plastered for no more substantial reason than to get plastered. Taking that into consideration, I'm going to have to make the assumption that some of you are taking advantage of this most holy of drinking days.

    Given the perception altering, sometimes hallucinatory effects of alcohol, I'm also hoping that someone around here has seen a leprechaun and either taken his gold, or at the very least captured a picture of him. I mean, today's supposed to be a lucky day, right? It's almost obligatory that someone has to find a pot of gold and become filthy rich.

    But I won't settle for just that prize. Leprechauns have always made me ask the question: why? Why are you so tiny? Why are you such a greedy jerk? Why do you horde pots of gold and slide up and down rainbows? What kind of sick deity invented you?!

    I never seem to have any luck catching them, probably because there's not a single drop of Irish blood in my body. That is why, my friends, I'm leaving the task to you. Someone find a leprechaun and report back here immediately! Their reign of terror must be stopped!

    So, have you seen any leprechauns today?

    P.S. If you find the one that stole the four-leaf clover I found in the fourth grade, you have my explicit permission to beat the ever-living piss out of him.

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