This is your brain on FacebookMy friend will dump any one who doesn't change their Facebook and or Myspace status to say
In a Relationship. She believes that when they don't change it, its because they are trying to hide her from someone else. She will go totally crazy and be all "
You're cheating on me you stupid fucking bastard!" As if changing his status will make him cheat on her less.
I used to think she was crazy and stupid. Not so much anymore. I still think its stupid to force someone to change their status, but at the same time, if they loved you so much, what's so hard about changing it? What is there to hide? What is stopping you from letting the whole world know that I'm yours and you are mine? Is it that you don't want your other girl to know who I am? Is it that you aren't ready to let your family know yet? Whatever the reason, is not changing a status something to worry about or just some stupid obsession that means absolutely nothing?
Take me for example. My SO's Myspace status was changed to say
In a Relationship. However, his Facebook was not. As a matter of fact it still says hes
single and looking for friends
and serious relationships. He is not single and he definitely shouldn't be looking for serious relationships when he's supposedly already in one with me. What I don't understand is why would he change one and not the other? What is all that supposed to mean?
Is not changing your Facebook relationship status a deal-breaker?
Mancouch Says: Your friend is right, but maybe she should take it down a notch. If he doesn't change his status it is most likely means there is some one he doesn't want to see it or he's still looking. But it doesn't mean he's cheating. In other news, it depresses the fucking hell out of me that a fucking Facebook relationship status has such power to affect a real life relationship. Congratulations, Mark Zuckerberg, you've defeated humanity in the name of the machines.
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Comments (146)
i don't have a relationship status on facebook.
DAMN YOU ZUCKERBURG!
Facebook isn't some fucking fairy tale land where you're supposed to declare your love from the rooftops aka status messages. You're both fucking immature and stupid for basing your relationship on fucking Facebook. I guarantee these SO's of yours aren't putting in as much thought to this as you are. Get a fucking life.
And why is this on Mancouch??
That's really idiotic to force someone to change their status to "in a relationship." Most of the time I like to hide my status when I'm in a relationship because I hate having people I'm not close friends with gossiping about me. I usually prefer when only people who actually care about me know about my relationships. It's stupid to care what people think your relationship status is when you haven't talked to them in months or years.
I think it's okay if someone keeps their relationship status single for a while on facebook even while in a relationship. I got caught in a whirlwind romance that I wasn't sure would last even a week, and I hate to have people notice that I went from "single" to nothing to "single." People judge you for the most idiotic reasons. So I kept the status as "single" for a few weeks until I felt like our relationship had some staying ability. I'm sure my then-boyfriend felt like it was an accomplishment when I removed my single status.
Man, people put wayyyy too much fucking stock in facebook. Seriously? My boyfriend and I didn't change our statuses until about five months into our relationship because we just didn't care, and I know he wasn't cheating on me. I think people need to get their heads out of the internet's proverbial asshole and try breathing in the fresh air of REAL LIFE.
Mark Zuckerburg, you've ruined a whole generation.
My SO and I don't have our relationship statuses listed on Facebook... it doesn't need to be paraded in front of the whole world.
I dont think I'd feel comfortable forcing someone to change their status. But I will definitely feel suspicious for a while. Sorry but I have to go with my heart on this one: if they aren't willing to change their status it's because they're still looking.
Facebook is just a social network, not online dating service. Who cares about your status?
Kudos to the editors comment.
good call, mancouch.
@MangoWOW@xanga - Or maybe it's because they don't give a fuck about Facebook?
@melandollic@xanga - If they didn't give a fuck then they wouldn't mind changing it.
@MangoWOW@xanga - Or maybe they won't because they want to see how insecure the person is and therefore see if they're worth dating?
@melandollic@xanga - Isn't testing the person and checking them out the phase before dating?
@MangoWOW@xanga - Kind of hard to see beyond anything someone wants you to see before dating them intimately, don't you think?
@melandollic@xanga - I guess it's because I prefer the idea of knowing someone for a decent amount of time before making it official.
@MangoWOW@xanga - Do you really think time or experience with the person will let you know everything about a person? Being someone's friend does make you experienced in dating them.
@melandollic@xanga - Like I said, I prefer knowing someone for a decent amount of time. I don't expect a new couple to know everything but I don't see why they would need to test each other. Seems pretty immature.
@MangoWOW@xanga - " Isn't testing the person and checking them out the phase before dating? "
"I don't see why they would need to test each other. Seems pretty immature. "
Looks like you're confused. And I wouldn't call this situation testing so much as it is more likely than not a general apathy to the whims of the e-world and a desire to live in the real world. The girl is obviously insecure because she's nullifying her entire dating experience with someone based off a digital entry made in a drop down menu on a mere website. She's searching for validation in all the wrong places.
Because people put their self image before anything else, you get people like her who believe that what appears to be is more significant than what is. Quite frankly it's sad and pathetic.
Having your relationship status say one thing doesn't mean it reflects what's going on in your life. If it says you're single, that doesn't mean you're looking. If it says you're in a relationship with someone, it doesn't mean you 1. are in a relationship with that person or 2. if you actually are it doesn't mean it's going well.
Would you then go on to say that people who have theirs hidden are destined to cheat or they're uninterested in relationships?
How about focusing on reality instead of doing the thing us women are so notorious for doing; irrational thought and overly extended thought processes. How about we not follow the stereotype of image obsessed and immature.
Just a thought.
Well for one reason, I really don't care if you're in a relationship or not. No one cares, really.
eh, i see it as the kind of thing where if youre not willing to post it without good reason, then youre probably hiding something. personally it wouldnt end my relationship or let it make a huge dent, but i would get a little miffed, especially if theyre social networking site fanatics and are on all the time.
@melandollic@xanga -
Im going to answer as stuff comes up in your reply:
Im not confused. In one part I was talking about pre-dating and the other one I was talking about during dating. One that I already mentioned dating was after the testing.
This girl is definitely insecure. My original comment was more about me. Like I said, I personally cant see myself forcing someone to change their status but I would question "why not". However breaking up with someone for something like that is pretty immature in itself.
I'll agree that just because you're single doesn't mean you aren't looking, but in the case of this blog we're talking about people in relationships. I know we'd all love to be fair and say "Hey it doesn't mean anything." but I prefer to think it's more realistic that they have a reason for refusing to change their status. The only excuse that I'd probably believe (and this is only in the beginning of the relationship) is that they don't feel like having their family and friends hassling them about their personal lives.
Same as above. I don't see a problem keeping it hidden in the beginning to keep others from hassling you. But after it becomes common knowledge that the two people are dating I see no reason why they'd refuse to post their relationship status. I don't really believe lack of relationship status = cheating, but I do see refusal as suspicious.
As for the last comment: lol.
@MangoWOW@xanga - "I prefer to think it's more realistic that they have a reason for
refusingto change their status."
Where in the post did it say the people in question refused to change their statuses? Because I'm pretty sure this post consists of nothing but bitching about their own insecurities and how their SO's aren't psychic enough to realize that Facebook matters to them more than an actual relationship.
"But after it becomes common knowledge that
the two people are dating I see no reason why they'd refuse to post
their relationship status."
Define common knowledge. I'm pretty sure unless you only have the people you hang out with the most on your Facebook that not everyone will know about it. And sometimes you don't want people to know. I was iffy at first about putting my relationship status up because I knew my ex before the guy I'm with now would go bat shit crazy and call me a slut because I dumped him. And guess what? It did happen. And all his friends harassed me just because I dumped him and he couldn't get over it. And you know what else? They harassed my boyfriend as well.
So yes, in my own personal experience I see several potential reasons as to why someone could hide their status. Thank god my SO has some goddamn sense and didn't assume I was hiding something from him. It's probably why despite how I'm bisexual I would rather date men; they're far more logical. But I digress.
Did you ever stop to think that because EMPLOYERS look at your Facebook and are obviously judging you it'd make more sense to keep certain personal aspects of your life hidden?
The point is making an assumption is well, ignorant. You know what happens when you make an assumption about someone don't you?
@melandollic@xanga - Either way, you followed up with what I said. I could see someone hiding their relationship
at firstto avoid harassment from friends and family. Which was your case (though I wouldn't consider your ex a friend here).
In your case though I'll add this: your ex had to have known you were going to start dating sooner or later. His reaction is purely him being psychotic and immature.
As for common knowledge. I'm talking about when everyone basically already knows you're dating. You no longer worry about them harassing or bothering you because the idea of you as a couple is nothing new. At that point I see no reason to feel you need to hide your relationship.
@MangoWOW@xanga - As long as you realize the difference between "hiding your relationship" and not actually caring about what people on Facebook think. You and the OP tend to blur the two concepts together when they're not the same, and you're both assuming it's the former when more often than not it's the latter.