Monday, 08 February 2010
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Girls Paying For Dates
I'm not talking about letting the girl pay every once in a while. I'm talking about almost every time. I'm not speaking for most women, because I know that most women expect a guy to pay when going out.
My cousin and I have this problem. We refuse to let a guy pay for our food, movie, or anything that a date might include.
I was talking to one of my guy friends and I brought up how I didn't like it when guys paid for me. He got upset and flat out said that he hates it when girls feel the need to pay for themselves. That the point of going on a date is for a guy to take care of them.
I see his point, but I like to be able to take care of myself. As I'm sure many other women do. Now I understand for first dates, it may be a different story, but other then that, I feel I NEED to pay.
So bringing me to my final question:
Do you think that its bad when a girl refuses to let a guy pay for her and insists that she pays for herself?
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- From: shelbys_journey@xanga
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Comments (134)
i think it's odd. but, girl power i guess? i dont know. i wouldn't pay for every date.
Whoever asks should have the cash to cover it?
i think that if you have been dating the same person for awhile that it is ok to share the expenses. but lets not get pushy about it
Agreed. I feel kind of like a prostitute when I let the guy pay for everything.
I feel bad whenever anyone pays for stuff for me...I mean I am not as bad as I was before, and if they want to, fine go ahead...I used to ALWAYS pay for everyone else so I guess it's kinda nice being paid for once in a while when I go out
It can depend on the circumstances, but I consider it immature and rude for a girl to insist on paying for herself. OFFERING to pay for yourself is one thing, but coming to blows over the issue with a guy is just absurd.
It's a pride thing. For a relationship to work, you have to be able to both give AND accept, and if you can't do the latter on a date or two or all, the relationship is probably doomed to failure.
If you go on a couple dates with one guy, you should at least take turns on paying. It's great when you can pay for yourself, but if the guy wants to take you on a date, you should at least share the responsibility by taking turns. I know it's tough to do, but sometimes you just gotta let it be. Took me a while to get the hang of it, but I figure if I go on more than 2 dates with some dude, he should understand to let me pay for myself once in a while. Casual dates that don't plan to lead to anything further, then by all means, go Dutch. :)
Another thing to consider: guys WANT to invest in a girl. It shows their genuine interest.
i personally don't have a problem with girls paying for their own stuff. i don't have a lot of cash to throw around, so it's always nice when a girl takes care of herself. besides, it's always better than a girl who will spend lots of money just because it's not her that's paying.
Ohhh I've made countless entries about this a while back..
I can't let a girl pay. Even if I'm broke or she is a friend, I've gotta pay for everything.
Seriously I let a girl pay once and felt so awkward.
I'm working on it....at least with friends.
i always offer to pay on my behalf, but i would never fight over who is paying.
It might make the guy feel like you don't like them... ahaha, or that it wasn't a date but just two friends hanging out.
It's ok if you're with a guy who wants you to pay. Good luck though, because most of them are dirtbags.
my boyfriend insists on paying for everything.
that's fine with me because i have no money.
Every pair and person is different.
I understand the desire some guys have to pay for the date, but what is this -- 1950?
Women, as a general body, are continually moving toward greater financial independence from men, so it's only natural that date etiquette adjusts accordingly. (Yeah, yeah, part of it can also be attributed to chivalry, but whatever. That's another debate.) I think it's a bit silly to still expect the guy to pay all the time. It's time for a bit more equality, methinks.
I have a guy friend (probably boyfriend very soon) and for the two years I've known him he's spent so much money on me and while it's sweet, it makes me feel like a jerk, haha.
Just this Saturday when I hung out with him all day, even though it was my birthday, he paid for my lunch and dinner (I ate out twice in once day, so sue me) ...I was like...damn...even though it was my B-day!
And in general he pays for my food when we go out, even though we're friends. (Again, more than friends is probable in near future)
I wouldn't mind paying for him or at least just paying for myself.
Why not? Not all girls accept charity on their dates. If they can afford to pay for their meals, more power to them.
if i plan a date or outing, i'm always prepared to drive, pay, etc. if a girl offers to do any of these things i don't have a problem letting her. after a few times in a row i may insist but no more than once because fighting over money is stupid.
I think that when a guy pays for a girl, it
shows that he at least cares for her. Pretty much, just know he cares
enough to pay for you and that it has nothing to do with you taking
care of yourself. If anything, be appreciative and know that the guy is
doing you a favor (not to make you feel like a bum or incapable of
making a living for yourself, but cause he cares)
hypothetically, if you only see the guy, what, once or twice a week and actually go out, fact of the matter is that even if the guy pays, that would only be one or two days out of the whole week. i doubt you see the guy everyday, or do something that requires him to pay, so really, he is only paying on the days you decide to meet up. other than that, the other days, you're pretty much still supporting yourself, which is of course, respectable
There is really nothing wrong with it, just the norms of these days expects guys to pay for girls on dates, if a girl decides to pay for herself, more power to her, i might end up sneaking the cash back to her; or giving it in some other form like a present.
But if i have a date, I always have the idea of paying for everything that night.
i think it's messed up when a guy makes his girlfriend pay for herself, it's rude.
I get really nervous and guilty when a guy pays for me - I feel like it's putting me in debt to him or something. It also helps that I have a boyfriend who is much like a leech and likes to say that he does "more for me than he should" and acts like it isn't his duty to pay for our dates. He uses it in arguments as if he weren't expected to pay in the first place, so I've become accustomed to paying. I know he'll always "Forget his wallet" anyway
@SecretNeverTold@xanga - I agree with you, men's pride is about being able to take care of themselves and their loved ones (extend to family) and it's a primal thing. It used to be providing shelter, making fires, hunting. Now it's evolved into paying for entertainment and food. You're ...emotionally castrating a guy by not letting him take care of you, which is his internal need and desire as a male.
I don't think a girl should pay all the time because she's got to give the guy, and by guy I'm referring to a boyfriend, a chance to feel like he's taking care of her! All guys want to take care of their girl! I'm not saying that you should let the guy pay all the time or that girls should pay all the time--just take turns or whoever calls it first haha
My boyfriend is the same way. He doesn't like it when I pay but he understands that sometimes I want to take care of him too and that I feel bad if he pays all the time(:
no its not a bad thing, its better than having the girl EXPECTED* to be treated.
or it can also work this one, the guy pays for one time, the girl pays for the other?