Indiana Jones has a long and stories career, but perhaps two of the worst abominations of the franchise are his sidekicks Shia Labeouf and Short Round.
Now, they aren't the lowest points of the franchise. Certainly, the love interest from Temple of Doom and probably any moment from the last one would rank lower. Really, the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was just an awful awful mess. I can't even think about it without just getting angry. It even gave us a new term for failure to replace jump the shark: "Nuke The Fridge." That's right not since the tail end of Happy Days has the world seen this level of failure. This level of something that was once great trying to milk every last dime out of it until there's nothing left by dry shriveled up suckitude (well, maybe Brett Favre).
Where was I? Oh yes. Shia Labeouf and Short Round. Two awful sidekicks. Which one sucks more?
Comments (19)
Short Round is okay.
Shia Labeouf is fuckin' awful, I HATE him!
Awful fuckin' powder-puff weak, stupid name "Shia Labeouf", awful weak, dumb lookin' face, wimpy demeanour...an all around pissy, weak Jew!
Shia Labeouf is NOT an Indiana Jones sidekick!
I didn't think Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was that bad. It wasn't great, but it certainly didn't suck like some sequels. X=Men 3, anyone? I watch Indy movies for three things: great action, great gags and one liners, and Harrison Ford getting the shit kicked out of him. Crystal Skull delivered all of that.
Now on topic, Kid From Transformers win the annoying sidekick nomination hands down. Making him Indy's son is the kicker. I could have tolerated him if they hadn't done that. I don't know when George Lucas lost the capacity to tell a good story, but it was apparently some time after Willow and before The Phantom Mendacity.
whatevs, shia labeouf's character was supposed to be indy's kid, right? short round (jonathan ke quan) could still kick his ass. he played data in the goonies, so he automatically wins.
Kingdom Of The Crytal Skull sucks in it's storyline, but the action is good. The kid is just a new character added to the franchise. Let the character develop first.
Shia Ledouche can take his non-acting elsewhere. Fucking king of the monkeys swinging through those trees. Short Round was at least humorously annoying.
I wish I had a seven nuts just so I could tell Shia to suck a new one everyday. I guess he gets Sunday off though...
@S_K_O_T@xanga - err im sorta guessing here you really really dont like shia? short round fer da win...
@S_K_O_T@xanga - What does him being Jewish have to do with anything? Also, I don't think he's a practicing Jew, and both of his parents are not Jewish. That part of your assertion betrays your ignorance.
so what was ever wrong about short round? i loved that kid. who could be cooler than data from the goonies
Shia Labeouf because if they want to Nuke the Fridge again, Henry Jones Jr - Jr could inherit the franchise with a semi-reboot staring Shia as the new Indiana Jones...
@deux02@xanga - I've heard that was actually their intention
I say shortround simply because Crystal Skull sucked so much. But I do think Shia's an alright actor.
@bigot65@xanga - What does a Jew, being Jewish, have to do with anything in Hollywood? A lot! His mother's a Jew, he had a Bar Mitzvah, he's a Jew. His mother's a Jew, and to the Jews, that makes him a Jew. He's half a Jew, and even his Cajun side can't help with that amount of weakened genetic deficiency.
His family history looks full of degeneracy all over the place at any rate.
So what if he's not a practicing Jew? Many's the person who'll say that not being a practicing Jew didn't stop anyone from winding up in the camps. The sadder point being, that those Jews/Zionists that aren't 'practicing' Jews, and who are pulling the strings around the world, should have all finished in the camps!
He's practicing that most Jewish of things though, making money, not earning it, but making it.
By the way, what it is it that I'm meant to be "ignorant" of? Because it sounds like you're pretty much ensconced in ignorance.
The best, and most trustworthy, sidekick that Indiana Jones had was Sallah!
@twilighthunter@xanga - Mouth!@Honey14@xanga - Data was a fucking idiot!
@S_K_O_T@xanga - watch out buddy, i'm pretty sure brad pitt is out for your scalp.
shia is hot so he wins. /girl answer
Crystal skulls would have been good IF it had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Indiana Jones. However, getting to the point, Shia is THE WORST Indiana Jones sidekick. I mean, at least Short Round was foreign and goofy and a whole, what, 10 years old? I mean, that's adorably goofy. Shia... he's just not that great. While I might have a slight soft spot for him (due to even stevens), he's absolute rubbish. He makes for a good laugh and an interesting character in Disturbia.
Rubbish I tell you, Crystal Skulls SUCKEDBECAUSE it used Indiana Jones' name in VAIN!
@supaflychikn@xanga - Brad Pitt? That emasculated, foolish femme-boy, eagerly doing the bidding of his Jew masters in Hollywood?!!!
Brad Pitt, who, in a truly shitty, two-bit fantasy film by that fuck-head Tarantino, played the leader of a pack of American Jews hunting German/Nazi soldiers and torturing/mutilating/killing them? i.e...something that NEVER really happened???
He's coming for my scalp?
You mean, if that pseudo-dyke bitch he's married to lets him leave the house alone?!
Bring it on!
I'll pummel that beedy-eyed, unable-to-carry-a-movie-by-himself, drip, into dust.
We like to leave out commentors a lot of room to debate and/or make jokes. Even things in bad taste that are horribly offensive we are willing to let go if we can gleam something positive from it.
There is no excuse for S_K_O_T's comments. He has been banned. I have decided to leave up the comments so everyone can see why he was banned.
This type of be behavior is unacceptable and I am sorry that I did not see it sooner (and that it was ever put up at all).
Please go back to ripping on Shia for sucking in Indiana Jones 4 and Indy 4 in general. Thank you and good day.
Shia LaBeouf has the same exact amount of Jewish ancestry as Harrison Ford himself. Both have 100% Jewish mothers and non-Jewish fathers. And Kirk Douglas, full Jew, could've kicked both of their asses back in the day.