Monday, 14 December 2009
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Messing With A Telemarketer
I got a call from a telemarketer today usually i just hang up on them but since i was bored i thought i would have some fun with this one. Below is a transcript of our conversation.
ME: Hello.
Telemarketer: *womans voice* Hi, I'm calling to offer you ...
Me: Dong reduction pills?
Telemarketer: Excuse me, sir?
Me: Are you selling those dong reduction pills?
Telemarketer: No, sir, I'm calling to offer you a great deal on *silence for a second or two* Sir?
ME: Yes?
Telemarketer: Why would you need dong reduction pills?
Me: Well it's so big and awkward I figure it wouldn't hurt to be a bit smaller.
Telemarketer: Ummm I'm not sure what to say, sir. The reason I'm calling is to offer you ...
Me: Are you wearing any underwear?
Telemarketer: I'm not sure this conversation is appropriate.
ME: Awe, come on, you can tell me. Is it a thong? Lace? A g-string maybe?
Telemarketer: *giggles* I'm wearing a thong.
Me: Really?
Telemarketer: Yes..... Is it really that big?
Me: Is what really that big?
Telemarketer: Your dong.
Me: Its huge, does that turn you on?
Telemarketer: I could get fired for this conversation.
ME: Oh, well then, I'll just hang up now.
Telemarketer: No, wait, maybe you could call me on my cell phone?
ME: Does your cell have a camera?
Telemarketer: Yes. Why?
Me: Send me a pic of you.
Telemarketer: Ok, where should I send it?
ME: ********@gmail.com
Telemarketer: Ok. One sec........................Sent
Me: Very sexy! I want to see more, are you wearing jeans or a skirt.
Telemarketer: A skirt
Me: I want you to spread your legs and take an upskirt photo.
Telemarketer: No. I don't really know you and there are lots of people here.
ME: Doesn't the thought of getting caught or maybe one of your co workers seeing turn you on a little bit?
Telemarketer: Well .... yes, but ...
ME: I'm going to go. I thought you were a little more adventurous than this.
Telemarketer: No, wait, I'll do it. But i want a pic of yours in return. Deal?
Me: Sure, but if I'm going to take a pic uncovered then so are you.
Telemarketer: What do you mean?
Me: The thong has to come off.
Telemarketer: I don't know. There are people walking around.
ME You want to see my pic don't you?
Telemarketer: Oh yes, hold on.
ME: *Waiting*
Telemarketer: Ok. I sent the pic
ME: What are those bumps? Do you have genital warts?
Telemarketer: What? No, I don't have genital warts!
Me: Are you sure? When was the last time you got tested?
Telemarketer: Well, it's been a few years but i don't have genital warts!
ME: I'm a doctor and that is clearly genital warts.
Telemarketer: Oh god no. Are you sure?
ME: That is one of the worst cases i have seen in a long time.
Telemarketer: What should i do?
ME: Go see a doctor immediately. You don't mind if i use this photo to show my interns what an extreme case of genital warts looks like, do you?
Telemarketer: No no no. Please don't. Just delete it.
ME: Didn't you think something was wrong when you saw that?
Telemarketer: I thought it was razor bumps from shaving.
ME: No, it's definitely genital warts.
Telemarketer: Oh God, what will i tell my boyfriend? I'm sorry, I have to go.
ME: Bye
Poor girl now she thinks her razor bumps are genital warts.
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About the Author
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- From: IShallNotRepent@xanga
- Name: IShallNotRepent
- Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico, United States
- About Me: Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 3579 Comments: 0 100 View all posts by IShallNotRepent@xanga
Comments (100)
Somehow this just screams fake.
that's not very nice. i have a hard time believing you.
=0 That is horrible
lol of her and you... hahaha
I have no sympathy for her, she was cheating on her bf. =P
FO REALLLZZ?
I call bullshit.
LOL
Uh, right.
I still laughed though.
And how exactly did you remember this conversation verbatim?
Hahaha... the poor girl.
Hey they edited it wtf, who in the hell uses the word dong?
I call bullshit too, i would never use the word dong while refering to my penis damn it.
@Kaythan@xanga - I record my phone calls
This is soooooooooo faaaaaaaaaaaaaake.
Is this real? Who knows... but one thing is for sure!
That..
was a EPIC win :D
HAHAH THATS HORRIBLE!
@IShallNotRepent@xanga - LMFAO . i thought dong was shit.
wheres the picture!
@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - no it must be true. amazing convos like these give me hope God is still here.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - i had thought about posting it in my original webblog but i wasn't sure if i would get kicked off of here for that, shall i send it to you?
@IShallNotRepent@xanga - you... simply.... must.
thats hilarious tho real or fake
@Duhiana@xanga - ditto. until he said it was too big and i was like. why wud he care if his shit is too bi...ohhhh. loll
@withlove_c@xanga - Haha, it took me a while too. Cause I was thinking, "how do you decrease shi.. oh"
bahahahhahahhahahaha.
@IShallNotRepent@xanga - Send it to everyone.
You are ridiculous. Hah if this is even true.
I like to mess with customer service reps, personally..but more along the lines of playing to gain the utter most of their professional services. It's still laughable what some of them say, though..in completely unprofessional fashion--don't they remember they're being recorded?!