Sunday, 06 December 2009
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I Don't Believe in Germs
I have a confession to make.
I rarely wash my hands.
Not before preparing or handling food, not after using the bathroom, not before and after helping someone who is sick, not after blowing my nose, coughing, or sneezing, not after handling an animal or animal waste, not after handling garbage, and certainly not before and after treating a cut.
Now, I am sure many of you cringed a few times during that last paragraph. I am sure many of you are thinking "disgusting" to yourselves in your heads. Well, you're right; it is disgusting. But that's not the point. The point is that all the things I mentioned above are on the Center for Disease Control's list for avoiding contact with germs. (Only replace my word "not" with, you know, their word "wash")
Now, so-called "doctors" and "scientists" claim that the vicious little microscopic monsters known as germs are the reason that we all get sick. I'd imagine they would take one look at my lifestyle and deem me a prime target for a germ-attack.
Well tough titty Mr. Doctor and Scientist man. I'm as healthy as an ox. The last time I have been sick in the past five years was when I ate a piece of bread pudding that fell onto a floor that I had just washed with bleach. And I'm chalking that one to the bleach reeking havoc on my insides, not to your precioius germs.
Which brings us to the point of today's post. I, Joseph Woodley "Rizzo" Lindsay do not believe in germs. You guys can continue washing your hands, opening door handles with tissues, and not eating things off the floor, but me? Imma go roll around in the mud for a while and then go make some sandwiches at work. Peace.
How bout you guys, do you believe in germs?
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About the Author
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- From: Rizzo
- Name: Rizzo
- About Me: I like reading books, the Chicago Bears, and long walks on the beach.
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Comments (78)
I believe in germs. I also believe in an immune system, and I also believe in being incredibly lucky.
All I can say is: EW. I don't really care if you don't believe in germs, not washing your hands after using the bathroom is just gross.
Also "germs" don't exist; bacteria and viruses do. It's just simple biology.
i just pretend i'm washing the cooties off of my hands
EURGH! :P (jk, but i still regularly wash my hands.. -.-)
Lol, I pretty much think the same way. Germs just build up your immune system...that's why you never get sick!
Yea, not gonna lie, reading this post nearly made me cry. I find it funny how germs can reduce me to tears. So yea, I believe in germs and they'd better get the fuck away from me. This is why cleaning products are my headache inducing friends. If I die, I'll die squeaky clean and lemony fresh.
its because your body has been fighting off germs and youre immune system is stronger
im with your i rarely wash my hands too
You should get a master's or PhD. in immunlogy with me so we can prove the Hygiene Hypothesis. We will be the ones who survive through outbreaks because we don't kill our natural microbiota by overuse of sanitizers and cleaning products. We live in an industrialized nation where autoimmune diseases and allergies are on the rise. Why? I believe it's because people's bodies are not learning how to deal with foreign pathogens, so, what does it do? The body turns on itself and finds something to fight. Yes, your immune system will start killing off your pancreatic islet cells (Diabetes Type I); destroy your intestinal lining (Chron's Disease); kill your myelin sheaths (Multiple Sclerosis); infants born by c-section have a moderately increased risk of developing Asthma. Man, I can go on and on. Thanks for posting this. Seriously. Oh, if you guys don't believe me, there are several articles being published in PubMed to prove my point.
i really don't care about germs either bro, right fucking onn
BUT... BUT... I thought those things I saw through the microscope in biology class were .... bacteria! .... I.... I thought they were alive! *tear* The precious little E. coli! WHAT IF IT'S ALL A LIE!
Seriously, though, as gross as you make it sound, you're probably onto something not being so outrageously clean that your immune system gets weak. Like they say that kids who have pets from a very young age have stronger immune systems and are less likely to get autoimmune disorders. I do hope you're not spreading random pathogens to people who can't handle it, though. Ox man. :)
i wash my hands to clean them of the icky that may have been smeared on my skin, not for the germs. i can handle my own germs, but not the drying piddle on my hands, thank you.
People who aren't exposed to germs very often get sick more frequently.
-cringecringecringecringecringe- lol. i know they exist. i just don't believe in overly concerning about their existence. not in every day normal scenarios. i like to think that i'm not a germa/o-phobe. i at least wash my hands after bathroom breaks and all that good stuff!
My immune system is stronger than the Swartzenager back in his prime for exactly this reason.
youuu roockk (Y)
i believe in shitty immune systems but people who arnt scared to do all that shit are always healthieri believe in germs.i also believe we need them. they make our immune systems stronger and when someone is always sanitizing, they get sick easily at the slightest contact with germs. wash your hands though.. nasty!
Haha. I think I should send you a hand sanitizer. :p
Its like when my sister was walking around with no shoes on, she said she would see any pieces of glass before she stepped on them so I told her about invisible glass, you know, the glass that's everywhere except you cant see it. Germs are like invisible glass.
I don't wash my hands except to keep up appearances, same as wearing shoes.
It's probably healthier in the long run because you build up a better immunity and you won't contribute to germs gaining resistance to hand sanitizers.
But you better never touch me bitch.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - HAHAHA. oh your response just killed me lol.
but to the OP, sorry, but that's actually really disgusting. i dont know why you'd want to admit to this to... well, anyone. cause that's just nasty. but w/e i guess that's your decision.
After reading this I could not help but go wash my hands and Wash my face. I felt disgusting and infected by your post. Ugh.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - "But you better never touch me bitch." total win.
dude. that's frickin gross.
I completely agree with this post!! Geez, I'm the same exact way and I'm rarely sick. because WE ACTUALLY HAVE IMMUNE SYSTEMS! *high fives* :)
though there are a few of those things i do. i wash my hands after using the bathroom. because i mean, that one is just nasty. and the animal waste one, definitely. but otherwise..not much.
AHHHHH you are EXACTLY like my boyfriend. damn you disgusting boys!
it's true; i wash my hands twice every time i pee and various other times throughout the day, and i get sick a hell of a lot more often than he does (or most people for that matter). don't care. creeps me out. as a girl, or perhaps an ordinary person, i just don't wanna hold your hand after you picked up dog shit and and stitched up an aids victim's open sore. have some decency!This is GROSS! I mean I believe in fighting off germs, but I also believe in letting your kids eat mud, and touching door handles. It helps build a healthy immune system in an already generally healthy person! Which is great, but not cleaning a cut? Or washing your hands after peeing? Kinda gross. And when I'm cooking, I CONSTANTLY wash my hands, raw meat is gross, and I highly doubt the people I cook for want my grimmy hands all over everything.
@feelslikejuly@xanga - i believe you.
I'm pretty healthy on account to the element of unhealthy-ness I have as well.