Captain Planet, Captain Planet, Captain Planet. Oh man, Captain Planet. Let's start off with a few personal stories about Captain Planet:
As a child I used to watch Captain Planet with my younger brother and every time when he closed out the ending credits by saying, "The power is yours!" my brother and I would fight over who he was pointing to.
My freshman year of college I came up with a song to the tune of the Captain Planet theme song (go ahead you probably remember some of it even now) dedicated to Captain Morgan.
I always thought Gaia was kinda hot and that the heart kid was completely useless other than his awesome pet monkey (who, frankly, I always thought should have been the fifth Planeteer).
When they said that you could be a Planeteer too, I thought they meant literally and was always wondering where I could sign up to get my ring. Sadly they meant by "recycling" and other such nonsense that didn't involve magical powers. Lame.
Now that that's over with, let's move on to the real deal Holyfield ...
This part might be hard for you to hear, but I'm going to say it anyway. As much as we all love Captain Planet (and I definitely do) he was the most worthless superhero ever (even more worthless than Aquaman). And the only thing more worthless than him are the freaking Planeteers.
Whoa whoa. I said it would be hard to hear. No need to get violent. Let me explain. The Planeteers are useless because they could never fight anyone on their own. Why even have Planeteers if they're just going to shit the bed and call out Captain Planet to save them every single time? Why not just have Captain Planet there to save the day? It would save us a whole lot of time and whining.
And the Captain himself? Well, he's completely useless because the one freaking thing he is charged with fighting is his freaking weakness. It's his job to fight pollution, yet his biggest weakness (in other words, the thing that saps all his energy and makes him too weak to fight) is pollution! That's like if instead of Kryptonite, Superman's greatest weakness was crime. Or if instead of fighting crime (and intergalactic warlords), Superman's only goal in life was to fight, very literally, Kryptonite. He'd be dead in a week. It's just sad.
I love Captain Planet as much as anyone, but the creators of that show were slapping us in the face and telling us it's candy with that premise.
I mean Duke Nukem could have killed all those mofos with extremely minimal effort. He was kinda my favorite villain because he was the most powerful by far. If I was Duke Nukem, Captain Planet would be dead and so would the Planeteers. First episode. It would all be over and it'd be call the Duke Nukem show. Cha-ching! (And speaking of Duke Nukem, isn't it a little irresponsible to be exposing a bunch of teenagers and a monkey to that much radiation? If they ever had a reunion show every one of them would have cancer and curse Captain Planet's name).
Do you miss Captain Planet?
Comments (23)
GO PLANET!!! =]
I wasn't allowed to watch Captain Planet. My parents are republican.
Captain planet was decent
Captain Planet was kind of boring. I got freaked out by his bikini outfit and mullet when I was a kid, so I never wanted to watch it.
I liked the show when I was younger. I still dont understand the heart kids power though....
of course i miss captain planet.
he takes pollution down to zero.
Yesssss
Used to be one of my very favorites. ♥
Captain planet is a douche.
definitely one of my old favs
I know it was part of my childhood, but fuck that show.
I hate Captain Planet's hair and his underpants-outerwear speedo thingie. But the cartoon is ok.
CAPTAIN PLANETTT,,
HE'S A HEROOOO <3
Gonna take pollution down to ZERO! <3
thanks for this.
i miss him :( <3
Loved Captain Planet. It was a great concept made into an awesome show.
I found Captain Planet to be a bit "boring". The whole thing wasn't exciting enough for me, not enough real action and, possibly, to much of a moral - not that there's anything wrong with that in the rigth place.
yes. duke would have capped every one of them...side-scrolling style.
@mathc2003@xanga - Different Duke Nukem
Wow.....I gotta admit. This post punched me right in the face. Definitely brought back memories of me waking up at 5am to watch cartoons on tv(Captain Planet always aired at this time) before eating breakfast and getting ready for school. It's so funny that at age 6 I was waking up early, but as the years went by and i got older, waking up at 6 am was always a problem. Ah, the power of cartoons. I used to have the Captain Planet toy and always thought he was Superman's cousin, cuz he could fly, was polite and had red in his costume, similar to Superman. Looking back at this, it was an ok cartoon, imo. But I would never really show this to my future kids. Its just so corny and so propaganda-ish. Thats why,as a 90s kid, I was fortunate to have been exposed to other great cartoons to choose from, and ones that I'll recommend to my future kids. ***cough*** Batman TAS (1992) ***cough**** (yes, I feel very old)
I remember the first episode (I think) when the Fire guy was hitting on the Wind girl and called her a Russian, and she got mad and said she was from the Soviet Union.
Classic.
Ah i liked that show XD
"Captain Planet, he's a hero, gonna take pollution down to zero!" and "We're the planeteers! You can be one too! Saving our planet is the thing to do!"
My brother and i used to pretend to be planeteers and used these fake rings that i used to get from those quarter machines in grocery stores. lol
point. forgot about the arch villan. if i was the dude....i would have just rolled some depleted uranium and toxic waste into .50 cal slugs, thrown em into a Barrett M82....ahh but that would have made too much sense for them :)
yes I do xD it was meant to be an environmental show disguised as a super hero show for kids :)
LOVED captain planet! I even have the theme song on my phone. But the best bad guy they had on the show was Captain Pollution himself! He even got stronger when he took a bath in toxic waste, loved it =]