Tuesday, 24 November 2009

• The Turducken: An Ode To Meat

  
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  With Thanksgiving just days away, it's time to think about what really means the most to us in life. While your brain might be saying thanks for family, friends, the iPhone and the good ol' U.S. of A. , your stomach and tongue are probably singing a whole different tune: Meat.
  
  Meat's got it all. There's variety in textures, flavors, juiciness, and a million different ways to prepare each one. And what better way to get protein? Sure, there are other, healthier alternatives, but there's nothing quite like tearing into that first gorgeous piece of Thanksgiving turkey, letting it slide down your throat and sit in your stomach like the mountain of pure awesomeness that it is.
  
  Of course, why stop at having just one kind of bird this Thursday? There's a concoction so devious, so devilishly delicious that it's almost too good to be true: the Turducken.
  
  

  
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  What is it, you ask? Simply put, it's a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, and the duck is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. Just let the weight of it rest on your shoulders for a moment. That's two birds and one waterfowl. It's nap-inducing turkey over the greasy goodness of duck over one of those cute little chickens you could eat all by yourself.
  
  Some might say that the Turducken is overkill. Yes it's massive. Yes, it's likely one of the most horribly unhealthy recipes in North America, and if the bird population had its fair say, they might object to having their brothers stuffed inside one another. But it'll feed your whole family, and the sheer absurdity of it will be a source of laughs for the whole evening. In fact, the only drawback is that the bad-boy can't be deep fried (which requires the center of the bird to be hollow).
  
  

  
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  And is it not a true symbol of hope for our country, that three birds, each so very distinct, can come together and create something so moist and tasty? Layering them, one on top of the other, is helping bring Americans together, one Turducken at a time.
  
  Would you like a Turducken to grace your Thanksgiving table this year, or is it just too much meat for your gullet?
  
  P.S. This Christmas, someone should wrap their spiral ham in pork chops and bacon. It'll be like a nice salty holiday layer cake.
  
  

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