Monday, 16 November 2009

  • I Want A Talking Chimp!


    Recently, scientists have located the gene that allows humans to speak and makes sure that apes do not. Now there is speculation that some day they might be able to someday genetically engineer apes to speak.

    THAT IS AWESOME! I want a talking chimp! Holy fuck, that would be awesome. It would be a dream come true to have a talking chimp over for some tea while we both wear silly hats and monocles and have bubble makers shaped like Sherlock Holmes pipes. Or maybe he could dress up as Mario and I could dress up as Luigi. Chimps in overalls = amazing.

    Science, please make this happen!

    Clearly, this is all headed in one direction. The Planet of the Apes.

    That's right, you heard me. Charlton Heston was a goddamn prophet.

    And I, for one, welcome our ape overlords (it's certainly better than the only other alternative: Robots). They would be the most adorable despotic rulers in history (just slightly beating out Pol Pot). I mean can you imagine chimps in military garb telling you to till the fields? Adorable.

    Do you want a talking chimp?

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