Monday, 09 November 2009
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Male Sex Blogging???
(Source)
I'm starting to notice that on Xanga, there are a lot of women who are talking about sex. These days, they will take on anything, from sexual education to feelings to their fetishes. And they wind up helping whoever else talks about sex.
I thought it was healthy to talk about sex and love, but I thought it was kind of peculiar that the men aren't stepping up. If men are so sexual, why aren't we talking about it like women? Why aren't we sharing something?
I, being the curious one I am, started the exploration with SerenaDante. I talked to her about the idea of after-breakup sexuality. I was skeptical about writing about it, because I had (and still have) more female readers and friends, than I do male friends. And some of them were skeptical to read something about sex.
So I decided to go so far as to take it into my own hands, because I like sex and I'm curious about it. Plus, I saw more women talking about it, than men. Ever since then, I started writing about it more and more, because I think of sex enough to talk about it plenty. I talked about angry sex, about the awkwardness of looking at a friend's johnson, and even dirty talk.
Face it. I like to see women stepping up, but guys, where is your interest in talking sex? Am I going to be the only one writing on it?
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About the Author
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- From: mynameisblueskye@xanga
- Name: Chris
- Location: Boston, Massachusetts
- About Me: African-American man (Scorpio, Dragon, Left-Handed) I love music and fruitful conversation. That may be all you need to know. Anything else you want to know, talk to me on AIM or Yahoo. Take a look at my profile to find out what the AIM and Yahoo! are. I also have a policy for adding people. I check your profile, read your blogs, and maybe look at your photos, and then add you. IF you have friends lock, please send me a profile or a sample of your blog to be added.
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Comments (59)
Do it. I'd love to read about it :)
amennn!!
girls talk about sex to get attention & more traffic to their site. i've subscribed to a few like that & it annoys the fuck outta me when they timestampt their shit. it's like OMG I GET IT. YOU LIKE SEX. MOVE THE FUCK ON...nawmeann? but men blogging about sex..i'll give it a read ;)
@asdfghjkieu@xanga - I don't talk about sex for attention or traffic. I do it because I'm curious about what other people think about certain things regarding sex (amongst other things). But yeah, I do agree about the timestamping thing. It gets old real fast.
@steph@datingish - same, i dont even have sex so thats why i read. because i read what other people think about it.
I love hearing guys' takes on this kind of stuff. I'd like to think that I'm fairly knowledgeable about the way guys think, but I'm always looking to hear more and expand my horizons. Not every guy is the same, and I'm sure there are plenty of topics I haven't heard much about.
You're right though. There aren't many men who blog about sex--at least, not that I've found.
I feel like we have grown up to know that Men LOVE the actual act of sex....but talking about it involves feelings and expression and devulging of details. Which I feel most men are not really into doing.....I mean I know some of you guys after a sexual encounter will talk about it in a very vulgar offensive way sometimes but other then that it doesnt get on a real intellectual level like it does with women. Believe it or not we may come off as proper but do we loveee to talk, do, taste, and smell sexxx. its one of my most FAVORITE topics to talk about to my girlfriends because I feel like what there is to talk about specifically is ENDLESS. And you can learn so much by sharing experiences.
I say go for it. Dont let your other male counter parts scare you from doing it...start a revolution. lol
Umm (skeptical) I dont see any male comments though this is mancouch. There was this whole thing about how girls were not supposed to post on it, I think they've given up.
Anyway, nice post and I have noticed you started "taking the matter in your own hands". I wonder if this isn't about the morality here on xanga that has risen since my previous blog, I see less people in sex blogrings, less people writing about it. I dunno it might be about the rating thing also which was not as strict a few years ago.
btw: I added a pulse that nobody commented on, help me with the rating system I don't get it. what defines adult material? Are people supposed to rate other's sites? Your own?
My theory is: Those who know or are doing it don't talk about it, those who talk about it don't know or aren't doing it.
@asdfghjkieu@xanga - LOL i agree. and the things they recommend are not even worth recommending. so i have a page full of recommendation spams.
Eh? Talking about sex? No experience. 0:) Oh well.
guys don't talk about things the same way girls do [shrug]
lol i don't write about it because i don't want to look like some internet pervert and have people getting the wrong idea about me. you never know. people associate you and your personality from the things you write about (obviously). i understand guys think about sex constantly (every 7sec?) but really, online i don't think it'd be appropriate. maybe that's just me. although if someone asked a question, i don't mind answering. but writing about it in a post (like one full blog) is kind of weird imo. lol but hey, xanga's all about expressing yourself. do whatever floats your boat!
I love how almost every comment left here has been left by a woman, lol.
it would be nice to hear from the males :)
@lot223@xanga - But that is what I meant about the whole double standard blog that Iwrote for my fdirst mancouch blog. If men wrote about sex, they are seen as a pervert or a horndog. If women do it, they are seen as a slut. It's a touchy and carefree subject, but if they can write it with intelligence and care, why can't we? You know?
@Parsimony@xanga - Are you insinuating that there are plenty of sex bloggers who only writing blogs to magnetize them some ass?
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - No, I'm saying ppl who talk about sex don't usually know what they are talking about. It's those that are performing it that keep hushed.
@Parsimony@xanga - Ahh.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - lol yeah i guess. sorry maybe i missed your first blog. i just got xanga not too long ago. but in regards to what you said, being a slut is still as bad as being a pervert so i'm confused why it'd be a double standard, haha.
how would you write it with intelligence and care? what would you talk about? i'm just curious because i don't know how i'd do it. the only way i see it working is if people came to you for advice on certain topics - what do i do when my gf does this? what does he mean when he does that? you know what i mean? lol i don't know. i'd be interested to see what you wrote about, hahaha
@lot223@xanga - The double standard these days is that its more empowering for women. So, because more women do it and talk about it, more men don't really mind. However, you hardly hear men talk the way they do about sex. Compare all of SerenaDante's blogs to askmeanything blogs. I'm the founder of that, and more guys are going to answer anyone's questions about love and sx from a male's point of view.
See what we wrote about and how we did there.
I just noticed... barely any men replied to this. *sigh* I like to talk about sex because I want to know how other people experience it. Everyone likes sex. My friends in real life won't really talk about it with me. my guy friends will. But my women friends tend to shy away from it. I like to read about it and discuss it with others. I want advice sometimes. I like to give advice on it. I mean I will talk to my boyfriend about our physical relationship but even sometimes he struggles to talk to me about sex. Which I find odd. Maybe he is embaressed. Or think I will be angry at his response to some of my questions.
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - i don't think men mind because they like reading about what women think about, haha. if anything its to feed our insecurity. i think when females do it it's okay because they gossip about it amongst themselves anyways. for guys, we talk about it but it's more like, "yo, i banged that chick all night long" hahaha. for girls its like "he did this, and that, and that, and then i was thinking this and that and that"
i've never heard of serenadante or askmeanything? are they like mancouch sites? (i'm a newb).
True, I don't know why that is. I think it's because for the most part guys don't think about sex in a psychological way, or a biological way. Usually they have nothing more to say than their past experiences and talk about that. Rare to see a guy express about the emotions, motives, feelings, thoughts etc about anything to do with sex other than "This one night I was at a bar. Saw a hot girl, took her home for the night. Had sex in the kitchen, moved to the shower, then back to the bed, then out to the couch. Never saw her again after that." And that's where their story would end.
You do well by writing about a lot of how you feel, how you think things are and what you perceive in situations. I've wanted to write a lot of sex related blogs myself. Two reasons stop me, 1) I'm not sure anyone would read/care about my opinions. 2) I'm kind of shy for my friends to read what I might have to say, even though if we talk about it in person I rarely hold anything back...weird now that I think about it heh. Also I do not think I could write things as well as you do. So there's that too heh.
@lot223@xanga - I gave you the site. It's a site we put on datingish where men get to answer questions about love, sex or anything from the viewpoint of a man.
SerenaDante's Xanga page is where she discusses mostly sexual matters.
@Parsimony@xanga - Agreed!