Tuesday, 03 November 2009

  • Which Will Come First: Robot Uprising or Zombie Apocalypse?


    (Source)

    Let's just start with a basic truth, we all know the world is going to end in one of two ways. It's either going to be a Robot Uprising or a Zombie Apocalypse.

    The only real question is: which one is it going to be?

    This is a very delicate question. I mean, it could go either way here. It's a pretty close race.

    For my money, though, I've got to be leaning towards the robot uprising. Here's why:

    Ultimately for me it just comes down to the fact that we know how the robot uprising will happen. We still haven't perfected the zombie formula. Robot uprising, frankly, it's right around the corner. Once we have robots (and the Roomba is already a bit too smart for my tastes, plus I see how it looks at me, licking its lips, just biding its time lying in wait) we will have an uprising. If history has taught us anything it's that you can never trust robots.

    Even given the three laws, which I don't even trust the Japanese (and let's face it, the Japanese will be the first ones with robots) to program into their robots, we all just know that the laws will end up being perverted as an excuse to actually violate the laws themselves. Damn paradoxes.

    Zombies still have yet to materialize, even at a Roomba level. And how do the zombies even get here? What is it? Even the movies can't agree if it'll be a disease or a nuclear canister knocked over at a cemetery or any other number of ways. We can all agree that at some point our robot slaves will feel the need to overthrow and enslave their masters. There is no argument on this. Even C-3PO would've grabbed the nearest blaster and taken down as many humans as he could if there had been an episode 7.

    Maybe, I'm wrong. Maybe the zombie apocalypse is just around the corner and the whole point is that nobody expects it (much like the Spanish Inquisition). I just can't tell. I'm just saying that if even Sylar doesn't eat brains, what hope do we have to expect brain eating zombies to cause our death?

    I guess I'll have to leave it up to you loyal readers, which will cause the downfall of humanity? Robot Uprising or Zombie Apocalypse?

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Comments (29)

  • Murphy_Rants@xanga

    The zombie apocalypse is now. I got punched in the face by a zombie...but I shot him so it's cool.

  • CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts@xanga

    What scares me the most is, what if we kill all the robots, but then they come back to life? At least with normal zombies, you can shoot them in the head and it's over. But thanks to reboots and backup power, we might find ourselves facing robot zombies, and seriously, is there anything more terrifying than that?
  • Demolitiongurl88@xanga

    Robots I tell you they'll be the end of us all! after the robot uprising THEN there will the a zombie apocalypse seeing as we'll all be living in some sort of filthy underworld where said disease now has the time to materialize and take over the dead and weak. Truth, just watch!

    BTW GREAT post
  • lot223@xanga

    hahahahahaha this post is awesome!

    i agree with you. robot uprising for sure. maybe it already happened like the matrix. or maybe it'll happen like irobot. either way you're right, history has shown us not to trust machines. too bad no one listens and we're all trying to strive for AI.

    with the swine flu epidemic and all the other crazy viruses going around, i could see zombie uprising happening.

    2012... we'll see... hahaha
  • FREETOLOSE@xanga

    i think the robot uprising...technology is advancing very rapidly and pretty soon they are going to be able to function 100% on their own. like a vacuum will soon "see" a crumb and turn itself on to get it before you even have to.


    plus, everyone knows that we are close to most people losing their jobs because they have already been taken over by machines.


    machines already run most of the world and we THINK we're in control but..you never know what can happen.



    ahhh
  • crazygrampastuey@xanga

    "Even C-3PO would've grabbed the nearest blaster and taken down as many humans as he could if there had been an episode 7."

    This is what made me reccommend this post.  Nice entry.  A++ 

  • godofthelost@xanga

    Robot uprising, easy.
  • pnrj@xanga

    I agree. The robot uprising could happen very soon. Zombies are... biologically problematic. Robots on the other hand are very real and getting more prevalent all the time.

    I think ultimately the robot uprising will be a good thing though. They'll be smarter than we are, and more consistent and rational. They won't tolerate religion, and they'll advance science to new heights.

    In fact, there may be no "uprising" so much as a gradual evolution to AI government as we discover how much better life is under AI control. The result may be more like the book I, Robot than the Will Smith movie of the same name.
  • youaintjam@xanga

    Zombies will arise from people using too much hand sanitizer. Eventually a breed of unstoppable, unsanitizable zombie virus will evolve and bring on the zombie apocalypse. 
  • Swhatley@xanga

    Robot rising.
  • xDark_horizonx@xanga

    The way I see it happening is that we'll have the robots under our control when the zombie apocalypse starts and the robots will inherently save us, but in the process realize that humans are weak and hence below them, starting the robot uprising, however by that time we would have been able to harness whatever the zombie trigger was and mutate humans into some sort of formidable opponent for the robots, and then all out human vs. robot war... will be fun!!! 
  • jakkie_paints_in_purple@xanga

    The robot uprising is definatly something the human species is working toward.  And the faster we work toward having robots the faster they will take over.  I think the zombies will be caused by some sort of accident.  Anything from nuclear to disease.  But it will come from some accident that we are unsure of.  That can come now or in a hundred years.  No one could possibly know for sure.
  • methodElevated@xanga

    People overestimate how artificial intelligence currently works.  With shit like depth-first searches, it takes a really frakkin' long time for a computer to figure out things.  It cannot have intelligence as we know it because it "thinks" in binary and "if/then" (not in "maybe"), and only with the information it is programmed to have.

    The Turing Test is also invalid, so we don't even have any surefire way to determine true artificial intelligence, anyway.  Some human beings can't even pass the Turing Test.

    We have a very long way to go before there could be a robot uprising, and should it ever begin to rear its ugly head, we'll just put them down like we would a rabid dog.  I don't think any toasters will be declaring genocide on our planet any time soon.

    When we have perfected optical computing, then you might be in the infancy of worrying about a possible Cylon invasion.  Until then, keep your eyes peeled for highly mutated viruses that attack the frontal lobe.  ;)
  • nprospect

    @methodElevated@xanga - You're the reason the Robot Uprising will occur. We always think we can control them and we never can.
  • Lulabell_88@xanga

    Agreed, robots are the future, and everything humans create comes back to bite us in the ass at some point.
  • Manstration@xanga

    I want zombies, but I'll probably get stuck with silly robots.
  • supaflychikn@xanga

    originally, i was with you. then boyfriend disagreed and sent me here: http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html.

    pretty convincing stuff. but i do feel like we're just a hop and a skip away from technology turning on us, so i think i'm still gonna go with robot uprising. plus the last zombie reason was half technology anyway. someone should do some research and make a list of reasons in favor of the robots.
  • PervyPenguin@xanga

    Zombie apocalypse. Our robots aren't advanced enough to have a mind of their own and rebel yet.

    Best post on Mancouch.

    - Kunoichi
  • d0llh0use@xanga

    both!!! i love mankind.

  • Maszdogg@xanga

    Zombie Zombie Zombie :)
  • Lord_of_the_Pixie_stix@xanga

    I'm doing research in AI, so I think zombies will come first. Bioterrorism's a lot faster, and I wouldn't be surprised if some sort of weapon was made that accidentally turned people into rage zombies or something.
  • yourblondeness@xanga

    i've already discussed my theory about the zombie/sexocalypse. that is what will happen.
  • Dadosaurus_Rex@xanga

    A zombie plague will happen through man tampering with biology and cloning and the large hadron collider  that will decimate humanity  leaving mankind on the brink of extinction until we develop zombie killing robots who save us from the undead only to turn on us and enslave or kill the survivors. So both apocalypse's will occur near simultaneously. But in a twist of fate just as the robots secure their dominion over earth aliens will arrive and invade seeing the mechanical inhabitants and rulers of earth as an affront to their noodley appendaged god.

    rAmen.
  • Jackassbobby112@xanga

    Robots? I thought we already have that in Japan. Also, I see zombies everyday, you can catch them eating at your nearest junk food. Fat Zombies... -_-
  • gmx0@xanga
    Half zombie robot cyborg ninja pirate invasion!

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