When times are tough, or there's just so much ridiculous girl or life-induced drama floating around that it's practically unbearable, I know there are a few things that will help pick me up and remind me that I'm going to pull through. Now, these things tend to be different for everyone - like for me, it's the guitar, or a good beer, among others.
However, there's one universal constant on the guy's comfort list - a really satisfying meal. But it can't be just anything. It has to fit a certain set of criteria in order to properly comfort the soul of man:
-It has to be a meal that never fails to satisfy. It needs to fill you up AND ease your feelings of shame, heartache, or anger.
-It cannot be good for you. I don't care how much you like snacking on veggies and low-carb Wheat Thins. This meal needs to hurt your body in proportion to whatever is hurting your brain. Your colon will understand.
-The meal should involve you tearing through something fleshy or crispy with your teeth. This should help with venting some frustration.
-If this meal does not make you smile like an idiot, it may be time to find a new comfort food.
-It may not involve ice cream, chocolate, cake, pie, or any kind of dessert. If it MUST involve pie, it has to be of the 'Chicken Pot' variety.
I'll share a few of my personal favorites so you get the idea. These are in no particular order of favoritism.
Fried F*ckin' Chicken - Have you ever just stared at a pile of fried chicken and thought: "I am going to eat every-last-one-of-you!" ? Well, I have. I usually tap out after the third or fourth piece, but that doesn't stop me from thinking it. Honestly though, this may be the perfect comfort food there is. It's simultaneously crispy, greasy, moist, delicious and filling. And it's just so, so bad for you, but that's part of the fun.
Thankfully, it's readily available pretty much everywhere thanks to KFC and Popeyes, and plenty of other small time shops. Personally, I prefer Popeyes for their spicier options; KFC's extra crispy just never did it for me. If this is your weapon of choice for combating misery, I'd advise not being sad too often. This stuff has a tendency to clog arteries.
Disco Fries - Theoretically, it's a side, not a meal, but this is for when I'm sad SO DON'T JUDGE ME! Basically any diner will put this one together for you. It's just a nice crisp pile of French fries drenched in gravy with cheese melted on top. Why disco? I don't know. All I know is that this is a late night New Jersey tradition that has certainly kept my belly full and warm on many, many cold evenings.
A Big, Juicy Burger - Another American staple here. What can I say? When I'm pissed, my palette suddenly gets very unsophisticated. Of course, I'm not talking about just any, run of the mill McDonald's burger. No, I'm talking about a patty/bun combination that you can barely get your mouth around, let alone eat. Don't tell me you can't find one, either. Every area in this country has at least one place that makes mouth watering burgers.
What's so great about a thick slab of ground beef in between a couple pieces of bread, anyway? It's all about versatility, my friends. Burger toppings are practically endless, starting at bacon, lettuce and tomato, and continuing on towards avocado, portobello mushrooms and beyond. Can true happiness be found in conquering a pile of meat? I think so.
What are your favorite comfort foods?
Comments (64)
Tacos muther fucker, the crunchy fucking shell that rips my mouth and throat apart just to get to the tasty meat inside. That my friend is man food.
You at SPOT ON with all of these. Thers a place in NYC in the village called Pauls Burgers, GO THERE if you can that has thick juicy delicious burgers. I'm more of a KFC girl for chicken (popeys always hurts my gums) disco fries are awesome too. Good post As fo my personal fav comfort food it has to be mac and cheese, there's a soul food place not too far from where i live that i love their mac and cheese is so cheesy an just what i need when i'm feeling low
Disco Fries isn't another moniker for poutine, is it?
nothing is more manly and comforting than a stack of ribs. I feel like such a savage when I'm all messy and I imagine that the meat is from the bodies of those who have wronged me. I know, I'm strange... But fuck it.
@HippocreneQueen@xanga - i totally agree.
The european best dish, also found in the east of france named "choucroute" or in Germany named "Sauerkraut".
The sauerkraut is presented "crowned" by the steaky bacon sliced, roasted pork ribs ans small sausages (knackis type)and boiled (with their skin)peeled potatoes around the whole. Some purits say that the "real" sauerkrut is served with the 3 sacred sausages (Frankfurt, Strasbourg and Montbéliard). Served with a pint of beer.
Lots of pork, potatoes and some pickled cabbage (which make u fart); that is for a real man.
PS : Mancouch is ill, 4 women and a tacos eater before me ....
wtf is this "disco burger" shit? it's all about in-n-out's animal fries, baby.
poutine is so much better than your disco stuff
I have to add my mom's ribs or her wings (don't care which kind)
spicy chicken from KFC in HK
spicy wings from McD's in HK
Fries from Costco
pizza from Michelanglos
pasta - don't care what kind as long as if it's white sauce it has to have seafood, I perfer tomato with turkey
I'm sorry but chocolate cake counts for me, I can eat the whole cake mmmm
and no, I"m not a fat ass
I use a credit card to measure how thick to cut my rib eye steaks. Garlic powder.salt and coarse ground pepper coatting both sides. Grill hot in closed grill cooker. The outside is steak; the inside is roast beef. I also boil fresh mushrooms in butter and teriyaki sauce. YUMM I have spoiled any who eats this for going out to commercial establishments.
@HippocreneQueen@xanga - Best comment I've ever seen. Take out the part about being strange because that is just natural manly domination of your enemies right there.
Oh my goodness, hamburgers... I love em! Definitely one of my top comfort foods. Probably the only thing of American origin to make my list too XD
well, you know what I thought when I read "Comfort Food With Balls." I'm sorry.
I LOVE KFC! <3
my arteries just winced.
Hmm.. comfort food for me would have to be ice cream... my mom's chicken pot pie, or shepherd's pie. A big ole chicken Caesar salad. Yummy. And chocolate.
giant freaking turkey leg. or other grilled/smoked food. TEXAS BBQ FTW.
Subway, mashed potatoes, and macaroni and cheese.
@snapeful@xanga - 100% agreed.
Animal style is FTW.
boneless buffalo wings
mashed potatos! biscuits crumbled up in gravy! cheesburgers.
A Big Mac..
@TakingxOverxMe@xanga - *high five*
why did you choose a picture of a woman eating ice cream for an entry about men's comfort food that's not allowed to include ice cream? just sayin.
i feel like mac & cheese should be the winner...but only the good kind. i can never get enough nachos. and loaded fries (cheese, bacon, sour cream) will probably hit the spot no matter what. never heard of your silly disco fries, but in the midwest we usually just kick it cheap prepackaged steaknshake style.
now i'm hungry... and its 2 am.
mashed potatoes,
a fucking bucket of sugary ass cereal,
or mac&cheese by the box.