Friday, 30 October 2009

• New A-Team Will Punch You In The Face Just By Looking At You

  
  (Source)
  

  
  That right there is the official photo of the new A-Team. I have to say, the idea of a new A-Team sounds dumb as hell, considering the original is known for its theme song and being completely nonsensical.
  
  But screw it! Bring on the nonsense if it's going to have that level of bad-assitude. That's right, there's such a thing as assitude and this team's is as bad as it gets. They're a bunch of bad mutha-shutyomouths.
  
  It's like they can kill you just by staring at you. Look at the picture. Now, those are some folks that can blow some shit up.
  
  Here is the main cast:
  
  Col. John “Hannibal” Smith - Liam Neeson
  
  Not to get too down on this after I just played up how badass it is, but ... Liam Neeson? Don't you have better things to do? You're an A-list guy, that pretty much means you're not an A-Team guy. But dammit, you may have just given me a reason to see this. Are you sure this is what you want to do? That this is where you want to go with your career? I know you been on an action kick lately with your Qui-Gon Jin and your Ra's Al Ghul and your old man Jason Bourne (Taken), but this seems a step down. I mean, this would be like doing G I Joe, which I'm pretty sure the only people who can actually sit through that have heavy mental damage. But okay, okay. You're in. I guess I am too now. I put my faith in you Liam, I know you did all you could to save Episode One, but you did fail in the end to salvage that movie. Don't let that happen again.
  
  Bradley Cooper, who plays Lt. Templeton “Faceman” Peck
  
  Now, this career move makes sense. Had a huge hit last summer with the Hangover. Everyone knows his face now, but still just got barely beat out for the role of Green Lantern. Why not do a big summer blockbuster action flick? There may be a reason why they are pulling off badass so well. Casting seems to have gone way better than anyone could have expected.
  
  Capt. “Howling Mad” Murdock - Sharlto Copley
  
  I know what you're thinking. I thought the same thing. Who is Sharlto Copley? Why is there such a thing named Sharlto Copley? Is that a breed of dog? Did they just hire a bunch of dogs to play this role? Apparently he's actually an actor who just has really spiteful and mean parents. He's the dude from District 9. And with a name like Sharlto Copley I think he has a lifetime of "he's the dude from ..."'s to look forward to. The question is if he'll be the dude from the A-Team after this movie. Still, an impressive list of actors thus far. I wonder who they'll get for Mr. T's role. With a cast like this I'm sure it'll be some one ridiculously talented like a super buffed up Don Cheadle. Or maybe some one who can be both talented and hilariously pitying of fools like Terrance Howard. I  wonder who they'll get ....
  
  B.A Baracus - Quentin “Rampage” Jackson
  
  Oh .... well .... I'm sure this UFC fighter will be fine to. To be fair it's not like he'll be called upon to do a lot of acting. As long as he can have the proper level of impatience for Jibber Jabber and enough gold chains to weigh down a walrus we should be fine. Still rather disappointing when you look at the rest of the cast. But hey, it is the freaking A-Team. It wasn't like they were going to hit on a talent like Liam Neeson in every role.
  
  So what do you think, folks? Will you go see this movie?
  

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