Saturday, 24 October 2009
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The Top Five Best Jobs to Have in the Whole Wide World
I stumbled upon a news story the other day about a Denver alternative newspaper recently posting an ad for what some consider the sweetest job in journalism — a reviewer of the state's marijuana dispensaries and their products.
The Denver paper, Westword, has already has gotten more than 120 applicants, many of them offering to do the reviews for free. When the newspaper settles on a permanent critic for its new "Mile Highs and Lows" column (that is a great title for the column, btw), industry watchers say, it will be the first professional newspaper critic of medical marijuana in the country.
There's one condition: The critic has to have a medical ailment that allows them to legally enter a dispensary, and buy and use marijuana.
What an awesome job. I am not condoning the use of an illegal substance, but how awesome would it be to land this gig? It has to be one of the best jobs ever right?
It got me to thinking, what are the best jobs in the world. Here are the Waltdog’s Top Five Jobs to have in the world.
5) Government Workers
Like everyone else in the United States, at one time or another, I have had to deal with governments workers and it is painful. They are slow, disorganized and don’t care. You know why? Government Workers never get fired. I never hear of them getting laid off either, they would actually create more jobs, to hide their overwhelming deficiencies than to re-evaluate the current workforce. (I am not talking about working for a politician, who has to be re-elected).
The government workers can do what ever they want, with zero consequences. Then can chat for hours on their cell phones, or surf the internet, while 4,000 people are on hold, or 6,000 people are waiting in line. They don’t care. The also get phat-ass pensions too. This is my kind of environment. I would be doing the same shit, so I never get fired up when I deal with government workers, if I did, it would only be out of pure jealousy.
4) Life Guard
You work with chicks in bathing suits and you sit on your butt all day. I am allergic to the sun, but that wouldn’t stop me for applying to this gig. If this job made over 40 grand a year, it would be the most competitive field in the world. You don’t have to do shit, except for save a fat kid from drowning every once in a while. That is awesome.
3) Horse Trainer
I don’t even know what these guys do, but they get to use the best lingo in the world. “Why the long face?” “Hey is for horses!” and “Our jockey had a tough day at the office yesterday, his ass took a pounding.” And you can say each of those and actually mean it.
2) Hammock Tester
I don’t even know if this is a real job. But Walt loves hammocks. If there is an opening for a hammock tester or hammock reviewer, I would be best suited for it. I am pretty fat and I am extremely lazy, so this job is right up my alley.
1) Playboy Photographer
You get to see naked chicks all day long and you get paid a boatload for it.
Does it really get any better than that?
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About the Author
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- From: Waltsense@xanga
- Name: Waltsense
- About Me: I like skipping rocks on a lake, wind surfing, Perrier, sophisticated conversations, time travel, milk, door knobs, the Phillie Phanatic, David Hasselhoff, the concept of the four finger-knuckle ring on both hands and gold plated teeth. My name is Kevin - I run a humor website out of Philly called www.waltsense.com Mancouch contacted us and I am into this sophisticated community blog thing. I like the funny entertainment blogs, as well as a little of the deep stuff. Give me a holla.
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Comments (29)
Your evaluation of government workers is condescending and sickeningly ignorant.
@schallerbrandon@xanga - It's not his evaulation of government workers. This was copied and pasted.
@schallerbrandon@xanga - The stereotype is a stereotype. And the stereotype has some basis in reality.
@Unfettered_Mind@xanga - Certainly. I object to the degree of basis which it implies.
@cheyennexcrystal@xanga - I apologize then, but the alternative was to let such a description remain unchallenged.
I "worked" for the government a little over the summer. Well, I landed an intern position and got paid a stipend. I have to say, working of the government ROCKSSSS.
The best job goes to the guy that rubs lotion on models' asses between takes at a photo shoot.
@schallerbrandon@xanga - schaller - get a grip. My bro is a FBI agent as a sense of humor. My pops is a retired cop/gov contractor and they have senses of humor. It's a stereotype and this is a humor blog...or atleast an attempt. One thing is a fact, its VERY hard to get fired from a gov job. It's also true they have the best pensions and great people...so relax...
@cheyennexcrystal@xanga - Yes, from my blog but thanks for reading
@sexybish666@xanga - lol...let me know if your hiring
Lol nice list.
I agree with a previous commenter. The ideas of what jobs entail are pretty misguided and rather condescending.
Life guards have pretty stressful jobs and don't sit on their butts all day.
Just like working in such an inefficient environment being abused all day is hardly cushy for a government worker (though I will admit their generally wuite rude in response)
wouldnt breast massagers be the best
How on earth can you skip Ice cream tester/creator, video gamer tester, and a porn star director?!?! What is wrong with you man???
Haha...Cheech and Chong...ahaha..me and my sister watched that movie when we were ages nine(me) and eleven(her)....we shall always remember it.
Now...what was the post about...
Oh, jobs..I'm not really interested in any of the above...they're more for guys, anyway:P
@LouLouLouie@xanga - hello fun police...
@MiSS__NARA@xanga - AH ...YES!
@insert_label_here_003@xanga - Seems like any tester, from a recliner to a ice cream tester, would rock. I've seen enough porn star directors...they are usually very scrummy. The actors on the other hand....
I AM a Government employee. It truly does rock, although my end requires me to go to crappy countries and get shot at/blown up an a regular basis, however. Regular DOD employees on military installations truly do nothing , although they do have a high risk of getting paid crap and being booted out through shady dealings by foreign nationals. Not easy.Just go check out www.aafeessucks.com for more on this.
When I do get out of the RA I will be securing a swet DOD job as Range Control. My buddy is doing it and it's pretty sweet. He can't get fired and does nothing(compared to what he was doing).
@Waltsense@xanga - Wow, thanks. I offer a valid opinion and you decide to retort with an immature throwback. Nice. Being condescending and ignorant is just a bucket of laughs yeah?
I wouldn't have minded you disagreeing with me, that is, if you had anything of substance to say in reply.
Oh yeah! I should be a playboy photographer!
Actually, though, high fashion would be more fun. Plus, I'd be more proud of my work. Plus, I like high fashion models better.
恭喜~
租車 | 花蓮租車 | 花蓮旅遊
I know this post is for entertainment purposes, but regardless;
The best job would have to be a job doing what you absolutely love doing. Fortunately everyone's love in life is different.
govt workers may have a good pension, but I don't see the thrill besides that.
Lifeguards.. great if you're 18. If you're 35 and still a paid lifeguard, you may see a lot of naked women on the beach but you probably won't have much luck finding one in your bedroom.
As a horse trainer, you'd have to love horses and cleaning their wastes... and pray you never get kicked.
Hammock tester.. hah. you know how you look at the clock every 5 minutes when working your shift? imagine how the hammock tester feels.
Playboy photographer... you'll be desensitized after seeing every breast and ass look the same. And what a teaser for the guys... You see them pose all provacative, but to know you'll never get to touch and feel.
There's always good and bad to every job. The difference is that Ppl who love their jobs just are blind to the negative aspects of it.
@iamtheclayman@xanga - Good stuff, thanks for the service.
@insert_label_here_003@xanga - DUDE. YES. Being an ice cream tester would be BITCHIN'.
- Kunoichi
@Waltsense@xanga - Roger.