Friday, 23 October 2009

• The Good, the Bad and the Way Too Nice!

  
  

  
  

  After a recent post featured here about how some women want assholes in their lives and men don't want to date the female equivalent, I felt compelled to write about this. As a woman I will not touch on what men want; I don't have the necessary equipment either physically or mentally to say what men truly want. Not to mention the fact that there are many types of men, all of which, I'm sure, want different things.

  What I do want to touch on instead is this attraction to assholes. I don't think it's quite correct.  First, for simplicity I'm going to divide all men into three broad categories.  Then I'll explain the categories and then I'll explain the "I'm into assholes" phenomenon.
  

  First there are the bad boys.  These are the assholes.  Not only do they dress in a somewhat edgy way (whatever edgy is for the time period and location) but they also act edgy.  They're mean, they're tough and they're downright sexy from a distance. They appear confident and dirty (in any way you want this to mean) and you want them, mostly because not only do you know, but everyone tells you that you shouldn't have them.  And in the end you grow up and move on (or most of us do) and no longer lust after the appeal of the deliciously forbidden.  Hey, Eve wasn't the only one who didn't listen to reason!

  Second there are the nice guys.  These guys are walking doormats.  They are the stereotype.  They bring you flowers, which is nice, they pay for your date, which is nice, they talk about you, which is nice, and they never excite you.  This man is made to serve your every need and follow you around like a sad puppy! And he's boring.  You don't lust after him, and sex is about obligation.  He will provide for you, take care of you and bore you to tears.  There is no challenge with this guy.  There is no chase, or excitement or interest of any kind.  He makes all the things you found exciting about other men mundane.  Why?  Because he's got absolutely no edge!

  So there you have the two extremes:  The guy that if you touch he's so edgy he'll cut you open and leave you to bleed, and the one so dull that you couldn't find the blade if you tried.  So what's left?

  The good guy!  What's this mythical creature you ask?  Well he's your perfect man, and yes they do exist.  In all shapes and sizes.  They are the Indiana Jones or Mufasa type of man.  He's sweet and nice.  He might bring you flowers or open the door.  He will treat you with respect.  But he is also strong and willful!  He will tell you what you're doing, instead of always asking.  He will not push, but will guide you as you walk with him.  He will lead on the dance floor and in the bedroom, but he's not selfish.  These guys aren't like Batman or Bond, they're not so bad that they leave you lonely and pining. 
  

  However, they're not like the 40-year old virgin or Luke Skywalker that you just want to put them out of their misery.  The good guys have an edge, they can cut you, but they choose not to. They can be assholes sometimes, they can be slightly harsh, and slightly difficult at times, but they know when to stop.  They understand the fine line.  They also, deep down, care about and respect you.  Even when they poke fun, or act harshly they do it with good intentions, and they do it with a certain level of decency and respect.  Inside the crispy, tough shell is a caring man, who will be there for you. These men are a sword that chooses to stay sheathed unless they see a reason for a fight.

  I think when it truly comes down to it most women want a good guy, or a good man.  They want strength and guidance, and someone who will take care of them.  But he will also listen and respect them and treat them well. 

  Do you think that these three types encompass most men fairly well?
  

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