Thursday, 22 October 2009

  • The People of Walmart


    Recently a blog exploded onto the internet and got an insane amount of buzz. This blog was called The People of Walmart. It's really disgustingly excellent.

    The point of the site is to post random pictures people send in of people shopping at their local Walmart. The operator of the site then makes a snarky comment as you laugh or vomit inside your mouth. I picked out a few particularly tasteful selections to share with you, with my own comments attached to them.

    That Hello Kitty car is just the tip of the iceberg. Check out these folks:


    I don't understand how this product even exists. Are there more people out their with fuzzy pink spider jackets? Do they have meetings? Can we film them?


    AH! IT'S TWO-FACE!


    Maybe he saw the guy in the picture above this one and wanted to be the Joker?


    hmmm .... perhaps men aren't immune to the crazy cat lady gene.


    I'm sorry. Where did you say you were from again?


    That Rapunzel story isn't so sweet in real life.


    God, I hope the guy who owns this car is named Cleetus.


    You know, something tells me he can't afford that TV. Don't know what it is.


    I almost didn't include this one. I mean, in light of all the others it isn't that strange, but the pride this man has in his step really sets him apart. It's almost admirable .... you know, except for the shirt.


    "In another life I was Lara Croft"


    "I'm sexy and I don't care who knows it!"


    Another one I almost didn't include, but you have to look at the details. The shoe/sock combo, the tucked in tie-dyed tank top, the civil war era facial hair, the balding mullet. I want to make fun of this guy in like 16 different ways at once. I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm confused. Let's move on.


    The dress isn't designed that way, it's just trying to escape.


    One of these things is not like the others! That's right, the guy on the left's pants aren't sagging. On an unrelated note: No one rocks harder than Lucky the Leprechaun.


    This seems highly impossible and likely to kill or maim at least 13 people.


    Hey, ummm, those sleeves are a bit lo ... you know what? Nevermind. You're perfect just the way you are. Keep living the dream.


    It would be really easy to make a plumber joke right here, but that would be too easy. Let's just go with ew.


    This is a profile in courage. She is making a political statement about the nature of beauty. It takes a braver woman than I to try to pull that off. I'm kidding, she's probably too high on crystal meth to notice. What? It's Walmart. They won't let you in unless you've got some meth in your system. It's one of their founding rules.


    I wonder if he likes Tigers. Elsewhere in the realm of animals with stripes ....


    Some one should get a subscription to Animal Planet. YOU'RE A WALKING TARGET FOR LIONS! LOOK OUT!


    Looks like she's in the kitchen section. Great. She can get a toaster and her new wardrobe.


    There is absolutely nothing wrong with this picture.


    Did some one order some Neapolitan ice cream?


    What can I say that this picture hasn't already?


    And this is what America looks like to the rest of the world.


    Mesh never goes out of style.


    Yea, I pretty much think we're done here.

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