Friday, 16 October 2009

  • Balloon Boy Was A Hoax!



    I'm sure you heard the news about balloon boy at some point yesterday. It was all over the news and these here internets. So you likely came across it at come point.

    If you did not, here are the basics of the story.

    At some point yesterday a family's experimental balloon shaped like a UFO shot up 20,000 feet over their Colorado neighborhood. It was believed their young son named Falcon (awesome, btw) was in the basket of said balloon.

    This quickly captured the country's and internets' cold cold heart.

    They tried to send in a helicopter rescue, but the choppers couldn't get too close because they would shred the balloon. Everyone was worried.

    Eventually they got the balloon down, but the child wasn't inside. Everyone was more worried.

    Everyone thought that he must have fallen out at some point. But nope! Turned out he was hiding in the garage all along. Balloon Boy was safe! Everyone was relieved.

    Then in the evening the family went on Larry King Live, being hosted by human beard Wolf Blitzer.

    This is when the proverbial shit hit the proverbial fan.

    Asked if he heard his parents calling him, young Falcon answered yes. When his parents then asked him why he didn't come running he replied, "You guys said, that, um, we did this for the show." The video evidence is below.



    What show do you ask? Perhaps he meant Wife Swap, which the family has already been on twice. Or maybe they were thinking of their own reality show. Regardless, there you have it, folks. Balloon Boy was a scam. You are awful people. The end.

    P.S. How much does Wolf Blitzer suck that he rolls over for these clowns? No wonder he can't ask serious questions to politicians, he can't ask serious questions to two-bit frauds and liars.

    How awful are these people?:
    a) ehhh, not that bad
    b) how dare they use they're son's well-being for self promotion?
    c) they're worse than carnies.
    d) why haven't child services been called?

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