Thursday, 15 October 2009

• Miss Plastic Hungary

  
  

  
  

  Those crafty Hungarians are at it again!  What will they think of next?  I am hoping they create a game show that is like the Dating Game for Homeless People.  That would be a great idea. 

  You have one homeless woman interview three wino men and she gets to choose which one to share a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 with in a get-a-way Dumpster in beautiful Camden, NJ!  Congrats to you both!

  BUDAPEST, Hungary - Contestants showed off breast implants, nose jobs and face lifts as Miss Plastic Hungary 2009 strove to promote the benefits of plastic surgery in a country where artificial enhancements are viewed mostly with a wary eye.

  To qualify for the pageant, the 18 Hungarian residents had to prove they'd gone fully under the knife — mere Botox or collagen injections did not count. Nearly all the contestants showed off augmented breasts, with reshaped noses also popular. One finalist had surgically adjusted toes.

  
  

  Organizers claimed contestants were expected to show "a perfect harmony of body and soul," but the three-part pageant concentrated almost exclusively on the women's physical attributes and the usually conspicuous wishes for world peace went missing.

  Pageant queen Reka Urban, a 22-year-old hostess, won an apartment in Budapest, first runner-up Edina Kulcsar was given a new car and second runner-up Alexandra Horvath took home diamond jewelry worth $10,800. The winners' plastic surgeons also received awards.

  They should actually have called the pageant Miss Self Esteem 2009.  That is awesome.  I heard that the winner actually had her stomach removed and replaced with a plastic squeaky toy, so now when she farts she squeaks.  Hi-Yoooo!

  It actually would be awesome if everything the winner won was fake.  Imagine the winner getting home and opening an envelope stuffed with Monopoly money?

  Can you imagine if the winner got to her apartment in Budapest (is that really a decent prize?  I don’t even know where Budapest is, but what a crazy prize) and the apartment building was one of those fake Hollywood movie sets?  Ah man, that is great. 

  PS – I heard the runner up was a mannequin – HI-YOOOO!  The Waltdog is en fuego! 

  This got me to wondering if I were to get plastic surgery what would I get? 

  Here are five things worth thinking about when contemplating plastic surgery:

  5) Earphone

  

  Have one of you ears removed and replaced with your cell phone.  This is risky surgery, you have to really like the model you pick out, or you’ll regret it.  You also may have to wait to get the iPhone until your next upgrade, so be careful. 

  
  

  4) Diet Dr. Pepper in Your Veins

  

  Have all of the water removed from your body and replaced with Diet Doctor Pepper.  I don’t think I really have to explain myself here; I am just surprised it hasn’t happened yet. 

  
  

  3) Rose Scented Farts

  

  Have roses inserted into your colon – This is going to be the next major wave of plastic surgery performed, I guarantee it.  It is the next Botox.  People have been asking other people for years “What, you think your shit don’t stink?”  Now people can poop and have it come out smelling like roses, so that question will become extinct (or is it ex-stinked?) This also will bode well for relationships; you will be able to go number two in front of your significant other with any weirdness associated with it. 

  
  

  2) Webbed Feet

  
  

  Have your feet removed and replaced with scuba fins.  Again, no need to really explain; whoever does this first will win 87 gold medals in Swimming at the next Summer Olympics.  It also bodes well for me, because women always can tell how well you are hung by the size of your feet.  If you are walking around with flipper sized feet, you will be a HUGE hit with the ladies. 

   

  1) X-Ray Vision

  
  

  Have your eyes removed and replaced with X-Ray scanners or Night Vision Goggles.  You can never tell when someone is going to sneak up on you at night, now you will be prepared with Night Vision Goggles for eyes.  The X-Ray scanners eye ball surgery only works if you are constantly surrounded by beautiful chicks or good looking dudes, otherwise you will be haunted by seeing every fat, ugly person naked.  The X-Ray scanner eye surgery should come with a Surgeon General Warning – Naked People are Way Uglier than they appear with clothes on. 

  For more antics like this visit http://www.waltsense.com/ (Guest post from WaltSense)
  

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