Wednesday, 14 October 2009

• Famous Women With...GUNS!

   
  

  On the whole, I think we tend to like our women fit, limber and intelligent. But how many guys want a girl that actively combines those skills in order to turn herself into the perfect killing machine? Could you be with someone who has the ability to put a bullet between your eyes in a split second?
  
  Personally, I'm on the fence about it. I mean, let's face facts - chicks and firearms mix really, really well, at least on the screen. In a fantasy situation, a man and a gun-lady might start off with some real common ground: a love of firearms and the thrill of scoring direct hits. In fact, she'd probably be the wild, unhinged lover you've always wanted but didn't know you weren't enough for. So, you'll be satisfied, but she'll be reaching for her glock if you don't shape up.
  
  Okay, it's unrealistic. But so what? We all know we're never going to have a gun toting action heroine for a girlfriend - but it can't hurt to ogle a few fake ones.
  
  Here's a few examples:
  

  
  

   
  

  Angelina Jolie - as Lara Croft. Worldly, deadly, AND she likes spelunking! How could you go wrong? Although I'm not Jolie's biggest fan, I can't think of a better person for the role. In fact, it's sort of fitting that Jolie plays Lara Croft. She's become the gold standard for female action stars, while Lara has become the same for video game heroines. And in the spirit of fairness, let's not forget her role as an assassin in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, after all, her well rounded gunfighting abilities are as well rounded as her lovely behind. She's a little bit bread and butter, I know, but still hot.
  
  

   
  

  
  

  Summer Glau - as the reprogrammed Terminator 'Cameron' on The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Out of the three examples here, she's actually got the most responsibility. She was sent from the future to protect John Connor, and by extension prevent the extinction of the human race at the hands of SkyNet. I'm fairly certain that's the kind of task that causes severe post-traumatic stress disorder in normal people. Must be nice to be made of solid frakking titanium underneath it all. The 'Look, don't touch' rule probably applies best here. Unless, of course, you're used to shotgun blasts after attempting a little booty grab.
  
  

  
  

   
  

  Emma Stone - as Wichita. I saw Zombieland over the weekend, and I have to say, I was extremely impressed with the humanity of her character (all the characters really - but this is about chicks with guns). Faced with the end of civilization, she manages to be a good older sister, continually dupe two men, AND blast the living hell out of zombies, all without losing an ounce of charm or sex appeal. Thankfully, she seems to prefer shooting the undead. She just cons men out of their cars and guns, and what else do we have, really?
  
  Who's your favorite female gunslinger?
  

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