Monday, 12 October 2009
-
Inside the Man-Brain: Advice to Women
Relationships are all about good communication - but all too often women just don't seem to 'get' their man. Well, it's about time we were straight with you about how we feel during our many cross-gender conflicts. Our friend 'ehhhhhhhhhjeannineso' has graciously provided us with a healthy list of advice that should help avoid some unnecessary squabbles. Take note, ladies: you could learn a lot from this.
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
3. Crying is blackmail.
4. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
12. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
14. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
What other advice would help our female counterparts better understand the male psyche?
-
recommend
- recs 15
-
share
-
email
- sent 4
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to mancouch's Mancouch Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in mancouch's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (135)
Round is a shape LOL. I think I've read this on another blog. :)
14. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
-Yes, he did.
my SO has said all of this to me already, LOL. one time after amazing, mind-blowing sex, i asked him waht he was thinking about (#19) and he said, "drugs. i'm just reviewing my drug list for my toxicology exam. you?"...................................and i left it at that.
round is a shape hahaha!
#1 is the truth.
.. I am taking back your mancard. I cannot believe you'd do this. Isn't this what Datingish is for? See. Here's my point. This is starting to become ridiculous. Just find someone really funny to write posts.
I seem to remember this exact list being posted somewhere before--and the guy got a serious backlashing from a lot of female readers.
I'm gonna go ahead and sit back to watch this...the outcome may be different because it's on Mancouch.
Uh this was on here befor`e.13e4ttgbvreffxwsxwedrde2eellu4
#6 and #8.
The reasons why I should start dating women.
This was on here before. and christopher columbus was LOST when he found america dummy
Ha, i'd tell them that whatever guy has to make a list this long with those points is probably a not worth it.
lol! i actually have to deal with #16 from guys a lot. it's very aggravating.
My boyfriend's comment: "Karin, be sure to imprint this into your long term memory. It will make both of our lives easier, I promise. :P"
@MangoWOW@xanga - well, yeah. to get where he THOUGHT he was going. but that's not really relevant, is it. :P
I've also noticed that guys' attention can be diverted very easily by a good-looking woman or a good-looking car or a good-looking steak.
please tell me #14 is sarcastic. people keep making comments about it that sound dumb... or maybe i am the only dumb one thinking it is supposed to be more ironic than it is
this list is great!
the other thing that goes along with #16 is "when we ask how you are and you say 'Fine,' we'll take your word for it"
This looks so famiiliar...but it doesn't make most of it any less true. I say most because of the Christopher Columbus debacle.
"8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days."
Then goddamnit, play by the same rules. I dated a guy who kept bringing up one incident of emotional drunkedness of mine for months and months after it happened. Trying to tell me I was "unstable" and his alcoholism and anger problems didn't matter cause everything was my fault anyway. Because "remember that one time you cried all night about everything?"
Anyway... most of this list is great.
@i_r_keiko@xanga - Yep...I was just thinking that as I was scanning it over. It is the EXACT same article. Sigh...I was looking forward to a new perspective when I clicked on it, not a copy/paste.
1. True
2. True (but honestly, what women actually calls shopping a sport?)
3. I have no idea on this one. Crying never worked on me, I grew up with a little sister, so crying is annoying, not endearing.
4. True. Men are straight forward, if you want something from us, it's best to be up front about it or you probably won't get it.
5. True (unless of course you're asking us for our opinion... which is pointless anyways since you women don't use our opinions.)
6. True. We assume you are coming to us with a problem because you want us to either solve it or give advice. If you're just venting to us, say that up front, maybe something along the lines of "OK, i just need to let this out for a second...". There's no promise that we'll really care, but at least we'll know we don't need to say anything.
7. Can't comment... never had that, erm, problem.
8. A week, maybe a month, is a good timeline for using old incidents in arguments. I never had a problem with this, I like arguing and am pretty good at it (ask my ex's).
9. I have testicles, therefore, I don't watch soap operas. Thus, I can't comment on this one.
10. This is so old. Look, never ask a man a loaded question like "Do I look fat?", "What do you think of this dress?", or "God, isn't Dane Cook soooo funny?". You won't like any answer we give. And if you ask loaded questions like that, you're a horrible person.
11. True. We men don't like drama, especially with women (since you tend to drag it on for wayyyy too long). That said, we usually try not to upset you too much and as stated above, we're up front, what we say is what we mean. There's usually not a lot hidden between the lines.
12. Very true. Look, if you're asking us for help, let us help. Don't ask for help, then stand over our shoulder and tell us we're doing it wrong the whole time. You know how to do it? Great, don't come ask us to be your slave labor while you crack the verbal whip.
13. True. This varies on the program, and isn't just a guy thing, but talking during a TV show or big game is super fucking annoying. I'm watching TV because I want to hear what those people are saying. I'm not watching TV to pass the time until you wish to open your mouth again.
14. He didn't have directions... mostly because he stumbled upon it. Some people don't know their history... However, finding your way after being lost is an amazing feeling. So is never getting lost in the first place. That said, just deal with this little aspect of men (we deal with some of your little, ummm, nuances too).
15. Somewhat true. I tend to consider myself a pretty classy guy. I can dress myself and I have a general eye for what does and doesn't match. However, peach and pumpkin are things I eat and I don't even know how to say the word mauve. We describe colors as "greenish-blue" or "orangey-purple". They probably have real names, but we don't know what they are.
16. True. Not much to explain here... if you're not willing to take the energy to explain the problem, don't expect us to take the energy to guess what it is.
17. True. This goes along with 10. Asking questions that you know are loaded will only get a bad answer.
18. True and I wish more girls would take this to heart. Believe me, once we're dating/in a relationship with you or seen you naked, clothes don't matter all that much. This isn't to say you can bum around with sweats all the time, but we don't care if it's the tight khaki dress pants or tight dark blue jeans... you look good in both.
19. True. We don't think about the things you think about most of the time. And trying to convey our excitement about Diablo 3 or how funny the new episode of The Guild is will never go over well.
20/21. True. We know you ladies will never get this into your head, but we feel the urge to say it anyways,
22. I guess this varies from man to man. I workout regularly, but don't need my woman to. My gf now hasn't seen a gym in years, but she eats right and has curves in all the right places.
14. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
This list is automatically invalid because of this. Christopher Columbus was an idiot. An idiot who was very idiotic and wrong because he was an idiot.
@MangoWOW@xanga - HAHAHAHA XD
hey MEN... (and women) ... STOP generalizing yourselves! Just talk about your individual differences. there is no Man brain or woman brain. we are way more similar than you think.
10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
HAHAHA. i love this.
Did this post get resurrected from the archives?