Pr0n: A Humanitarian Cause

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Pr0n: A Humanitarian Cause

So, here's a fun little story. Apparently the folks over at the National Science Foundation (NSF) loves their pr0n. The problem of NSF employees enjoying their pr0n on government computers was so "rampant" that it "swamped the agency's inspector general."

If you're wondering why those terms are in quotation marks it is because they're from an article over at the Moonie Times.

By far the best part of this entire ordeal is one particular NSF employee, a senior executive no less, who "spent at least 331 days looking at [pr0n] on his government computer and chatting online with nude or partially clad women without being detected, the records show."

Now that is some professional level pr0n watching right there. And if that was all there was to the story it would be interesting enough.

But wait, there's more ....

His post-firing defense of his near constant pr0n watching was truly one for the record books. He "suggest[ed] that he frequented the porn sites to provide a living to the poor overseas women. Investigators put the cost to taxpayers of the senior official's porn surfing at between $13,800 and about $58,000.
'He explained that these young women are from poor countries and need to make money to help their parents and this site helps them do that,' investigators wrote in a memo."
Wow. Just wow. That is classic.
This man should not have been fired. He should be praised. This man is a hero! We should be constructing massive bronze statues in his honor.
Who gets caught with pr0n at work, fired for it and then goes for the humanitarian defense? I'll tell you who, this brave fella. I mean, that takes some massive chutzpah.
Also, what a coincidence that NSF is very close to what pr0n is often labeled with NSFW or Not Safe For Work. Just think how all this could have been avoided if they had just added that extra letter and then their employees would clearly know, the workplace is not safe for this sort of thing.
Is that the best defense you've ever heard? Can you think of better ones?