Friday, 04 September 2009
-
Intimidation? Sports Team Names That Just Aren't Up to Par
Upon playing MLB The Show '09 last night, I came across a minor league team called the Montgomery Biscuits. It got me thinking how unintimidating of a name that really is. When we look at sports teams in general, we want the team name to mean something. Strike fear into our souls. The Rams, Giants, and Bears do very well in that aspect. But on the other side of the spectrum, we have the ones that really, just make us laugh.
(Disclaimer: I apologize in advance if I have inadvertently insulted your favorite team.)
The Montogmery Biscuits.
Here's a team that I'd totally run from. I mean really? What are they going to do? Throw balls of dough at the opposing team? Biscuits don't strike fear, they strike hunger.
The Cleveland Browns.
With their bright orange helmets and ugly brown jerseys, I think the other team would be more afraid of their horrible color coordination more than their team name. To put it even worse, the nickname is the “Dawg Pound”. No rabid dogs here, just yapping little ankle biters.
The Boston Red Sox and The Chicago White Sox.
I'm putting this in the same paragraph because well...who's afraid of socks, whether they are red or white? Furthermore, if they're not actual socks, then please, tell me what a Sox is?
The Toronto Blue Jays.
I personally have never found blue jays to be scary. They're gorgeous birds that sit on telephone wires. So how exactly would that strike fear into the other teams?
Any team that has numbers in their names.
San Francisco 49ers, Las Vegas 51s, Philadelphia 76ers. Numbers just don't scare me unless they have a math problem in front of them.
Honorable Mention: As I was doing research for this article, I came across a team name that honestly, I don't know whether to shake my head at, or just laugh. The Rhode Island School of Design Nads.
(Ed's note: The mascot is actually called "Scrotie". You can read more here - WARNING NSFW.)
Only in a state like Rhode Island can you get away with having your mascot dress up as the “Cash and Prizes”.
A side note: There is one team that I don't get. A team name that should strike fear at the mere mention of it. The King of the Jungle, one of the most dangerous animals. The Detroit Lions. You'd think they'd be one of the best teams out there, and they go 0-16. Priceless.
What team names have you heard that make you laugh? Did I forget any?
-
recommend
- recs 0
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to mancouch's Mancouch Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in mancouch's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: Chic106@xanga
- About Me: To really get to know me is to read beyond this. What's the point to writing journal entries if I write everything about myself in here? :-)
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 1 Views: 0 876 Comments: 0 20 View all posts by Chic106@xanga
Comments (21)
hehe...Josh Beckett, Jacoby Ellsbury...Dustin Pedroia, Jonathan Papalbon, David Ortiz......
Richmond Spiders.
Then again, my old school's mascot is the Blue Hen, or "cock" as some people put it. Har har. But hey, Joe Flacco came out of University of Delaware and almost led the Ravens to the Superbowl.
the thing about the sox -LMAO
there are more in soccer, riverside boys, motherwell fc, etc
i have acutally sceen the buscuits in action. there was fear in my eyes whenever they walked on the field
not a team, but i'm going to enter UC Irvine in the fall. we're..the anteaters. ZOT ZOT. go figure.
haha i live in vegas and i do agree with las vegas 51's not being an intimidating sports team name. Supposedly the 51 has to do with the "secret miltary base" area 51.
If the socks are red due to blood stains with a bloody chainsaw right next to them I think that might make me a little worried.
There used to be a minor league baseball team here in NC called the Wilson Tobs. Tob was short for tobacco and their logo and mascot was a tobacco leaf. There's also a minor league in NC called the Carolina Mudcats. Mudcats are catfish, who supposed to be scared of that?
The UNC Tarheels. Who's intimidated by sticky feet?
And who would be scared of Cornhuskers, Buckeyes (it's a nut, right?), Stanford Cardinal (it's a tree) and Orangemen?
You forgot my personal favorite: the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs.
@randompearls@xanga - lol! i was waiting for someone to mention banana slugs.
also, utah jazz? why is their mascot a bear?
I'm just gonna say, blue jays are fucking terrifying! When they dive bomb you, screeching and squawking... Scary birds.
I'm gonna go with Aggies, since it stands for Agricultural. And there's like, 3 of them.
My 3 favorite teams are the Reds, the Browns, and the Buckeyes. Fear me... lol.
@CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts@xanga - It's a poisonous nut
Sure it's great having a team name that conjures up fear and intimidation but many times the names have something to do with the city or region the team is from @MissPixieGlitter@xanga - like the Jazz which where originally from New Orleans. Nobody wants to fall victim to a Viking raid but Minnesota probably picked the name not just for the the image but to identify with the large Scandinavian population in Minnesota. As for the Browns the team was named after the coach Paul Brown who was respected in Ohio because of his tenure with the Buckeyes. If we are going for intimation you find many violent species in the animal kingdom or borrow from metal bands but you might not garner much hometown support if you decide to name your franchise the Syracuse Serial Rapists.
I went to a little school in Boiling Springs, PA for some time...they are the Boiling Springs Bubblers. Yes, their mascot is a bubble.
Stanford Cardinal anyone? Who else is named after a color no one knows is a color and has a Christmas tree for a mascot?
@randompearls@xanga - yea it doesn't exactly strike fear But i find it interesting that the reason they picked it was because the Banana Slug has no known predators. So while you aren't scared of them, you apparently can't beat them either. whether that's true or not I dont know lol. Anyway I thought that was interesting because I also thought of them after reading this So i looked up the history :-/
Low level minor league/professional baseball team names:
Batavia (NY-Penn League) Muckdogs (I get the "dogs" but the last I checked baseball isn't normally played in the muck).
Hickory Crawdads (South Atlantic League).
Traverse City Beach Bums (Frontier League) (if the words "Muscle-Bound" were added, this one would make more sense).
Lansing (MI) Lugnuts (Midwest League) Granted, its' industry-related, but a lugnut usually doesn't move on its' own.
College team names:
Heidelberg (OH) Student Princes, Whittier Poets, UW-Stevens Point Pointers (an apt pre-competition song would be the intro and first 4 lines of the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited" )
@msakiki@xanga - Wow, I never knew that. That makes it quite a clever choice then.
i love the White Sox but you've made a valid point.
and also made me laugh at my desk when i'm supposed to not be online.
oops. lol. oh well.
gdsgdfg