Wednesday, 02 September 2009
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Survival Battle: Man vs Wild against Survivorman
Man vs Wild Survivorman
VS 
Who are these two men you say? Well... they are just the most badass mofos ever to walk the earth, third to just Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee! How could you not know Bear Grylls and Les Stroud starring in two of the best shows on the Discovery Channel, Man vs Wild and Survivorman.
The goal on their show is to get dropped off in remote locations around the world and teach viewers how to survive. Obviously both have a different approach on how to survive or they wouldn't each get a show. Bear Grylls sky dives to his location and with his film crew tracks the land looking for a way to get rescued, while drinking yellow water he made himself. Les Stroud on the other hand, gets dropped off along with camera gear and has seven days to survive before getting picked up by his crew, while showing you how to survive if you had a broken arm, but then scraping the idea after figuring out how hard it was to survive with just one arm.
They've traveled far and wide to many parts of the world around every continent. Bear Grylls was injured during an expedition in Antarctica, not for the show, but for charity, but what would happen if, for some idiotic chance, the studios(studio head heads can be pretty stupid, *ahem* Tom Rothman) accidentally dropped these two in the same location and they bumped into each other. What would they do?
Man vs. Wild vs. Survivorman
Bear Grylls: Hey, look at this. It's a dead Zebra. Must have been dead for about a couple days. Cut... You guys think it's good to eat? Didn't one of you guys bring a Survivor Guide for Douchebags?
Crew: Beats us Bear, we just film you. It does smell bloody awful. You sure it's only a couple days old?
Bear: No, but what hell.. Action! So this looks safe to eat. Let me get my knife and move these crawly buggers to the side and cut here. Mmmm.. That is good....
Crew: *Barf
In runs in a man from the shadows.
Les Stroud: What the hell are you guys doing here, eh? You know you're not supposed to eat that, you'll get sick to your stomach.
Bear: Well, well, well, to what I owe the queen's pleasure? If it isn't the pikey himself.
Les: Hey watch it, or I'll slice you with my multi-tool. What are you and your boys doing in my turf. My cameras are already set up and filming me walking ten meters.
Bear: I was going to ask you the same bloody question. We have an assignment to film here, so why don't you take your cameras back to Canada.
Les: What are you talking about? I was sent here to Peru to survive so why don't you take your pretty boy arse and crew back to England.
Bear: Peru? Blimey! then what did I just eat?
Les: That was a rotting Llama retard.
Bear: Llama huh? Anyway go home, no one likes your boring show. You are frankly too depressing for my taste. All you do is whine, I need food, I need water, what a Nancy boy. Step aside and let a real man show the viewers how to survive.
Les: Hmm... Does a real man sleep at the Pines Resort when he should be sleeping in the tepee he made himself? Come to think of it, at least I don't drink my own lemon juice and eat berries from bear turd.
Les starts playing his harmonica
Bear: Better my lemon juice than your homo milk. Is that harmonica all you can do? You can't build a raft, kill wild animals, or climb glaciers or mountains tops. Hell, if you do climb, you would have to go back and get your bleeding cameras after you have filmed yourself climbing up.
Bear laughs hysterically.Les: Yeah, laugh it off pretty boy. At least I'm real and surviving on my own. I can't get magically cleaned up after jumping in quicksand or sleeping in a belly of a Camel. I'm surviving the real and right way and not drink piss or eat wet brownies.
Bear: To hell you are. You look like crap after you're done with your seven days then you scream like a little pansy. I bet you would not last one more day if you wanted to. At least my crew and I try to show the viewers how to find rescue. Building a better raft than that bastard Tom Hanks.Les: Well, I don't drink piss or eat doo doo butter.
Bear: You know what, what don't we forget this whole thing and combine the two shows together. "Survivorman vs Wild" Batman and Robin. The Green Hornet and Kato. What do you say? We'll be the worst thing to mother nature. Wild animals beware.
Les: There would be no more lost reports or remote locations because everyone would be able to survive because of us. Let's do it.
The two jump in front of the cameras for a freeze frame ending like an 80's action movie, but it didn't occur to them it was a cliff they jumped off of. Miraculously, Bear was supported by kung fu movie fish lines and avoided dropping to his death. While Les' well placed cameras filmed him falling to certian death at the end of his final seven days, he was caught by a person with a flying jet pack.
Which show do you think is better? Man vs Wild or Survivorman?
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- From: tripcrazed@tripcrazed
- About Me: A group blog about traveling.
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Comments (24)
What's with all the reposts on the ish sites lately? This was just on TripCrazed a few days ago, so I'll repost my comment from there:
Les Stroud would win in a survival battle, hands down.
The trend I've noticed is that idiots and the Brits prefer Bear, people in
and near Canada prefer Les, and people in neither area don't really
care. There's a recurring discussion on Reddit about these two men,
and that trend shows its head time and time again.
The fact that Bear sleeps in a hotel between shootings and is given candy bars
by his camera crew is enough to tell me he wouldn't last a day over Les.
Grylls does some interesting and funny survival gimmicks, but they're
probably going to kill the average person.
I love Bear just because he's so much more charismatic than Les. And honestly, he could probably do a better job than Les at surviving on his own. People give him a hard time because he has a camera crew with him, but I highly doubt he's the one that wrote up the show description.
One is more entertaining. One is more of a trooper. Those cameras are not light!
When it comes down to it Bear is just so much more amusing, actually has some worthy tips for finding people and staying alive (most of the time), I couldn't care less if he has an odd night in a hotel or a candybar, he's more of a how-to-guide than a pure example, where as Les sure hes got the right idea, but just so boring.
Survivorman, duh. He's the greatest American Hero ever born in Canada!
Not to mention that "Bare Griddles" gets disorientated a lot. AND he jumps in quicksand to demonstrate how to get out. AND he jumps in icey water just to demonstrate how to get out. AND he's just not...exactly...survivor material.
Man vs Wild is more entertaining... Sure it gives a couple good advice here and there, but it's meant to be entertaining. If the average person tried to do it like half of the things that bear grylls does on the show, they would end up seriously injured. Most of the stuff bear does is for sensationalism and to make it more exciting.
Survivorman is definitely less entertaining but more true to real life situations. It gives good advice on almost all situations. And it's honest. It's so honest that you can even see les stroud fail at hunting/fishing and has to starve for the night. There is no hotel to fall back on for him and no camera crew to hand him a fish so he can pretend to catch it and bite it raw.
*** I have to give survivorman props for having les stroud do all the filming himself. It's difficult as hell to lug around all that camera gear and it shows dedication on his part to set up the camera, walk/climb/pass by, and go back to get the camera. AND THE MOST DIFFICULT PART? He states this on several shows that being alone makes it that much more harder, because there is a mental aspect to it. There isn't any camera crew to keep you company.
damn i don't watch either. from the way it sound Les is the choice to go with. I need to do some research.
neither of them is more interesting, and they both should be off tv. people watch these shows and think they are learning survival techniques when in reality they are going to get someone killed
Survivorman!!!!
He doesn't bring a camera crew with him like wimpy "bear" (his real names edward, he's even a fake when it comes to his name!) grylls does! or bring food and water, except for that time les was in the desert.. I think les brought a liter with him
i dislike bear grylls, hes a faker
Man vs Wild! I love Bear Grylls
but then again I havent seen survivorman. Might be fun to watch em both in the same show though. 
oh Survivorman FTW!!!!!!!!
Bear ftw. What are you going to do with Les' approach? Sit around and wait to be rescued after 7 days? At least Bear shows you how to get out or the best approach.
Bear - Seeks rescue while showing how to hunt/ set traps
Les - Tries/fails to find food and waits 7 days to get picked up like 12 year olds at the cinema.
Man vs Wild. Unlike Les, Bear never had a rifle with him (re: arctic) or a mountain bike (re: canyonland), etc. Sure, Bear's advice can sometimes be uniquely to his own skillset... but I'd still much rather actively find help/escape than to wait around and hope something will happen -- cause we all know how often help arrives when you're stranded in the middle of nowhere.
Bear > Les... survivorman couldn't even survive beyond season 3, whereas Bear is still happily trekking in ratings.
MAN VS WILD!! On Father's Day this year a 9 year old boy survived the night alone in a national park after getting separated from his family because he watches Man vs. Wild! Smart kid. :)
SURVIVORMAN!!! i love les stroud!! he's the real deal!!!
My favourite TV Show, ever!
les complains too much for my tastes, and in a surviving in the wilderness stand off, sure survivor man would last longer, b/c he'd be stuck longer, bear would be back in civilation by the end of the week while as Les will remained stranded bitching and moaning. but this is purely just my opinion.
The only reason that bear grylls is able to "escape" his survival situations is that he already knows where to go. He knows what direction to go in and he always has help from the camera crew.  I'm not saying that bear couldn't escape in a real situation because i have never seen him in a "real" one. Bear grylls' tactics on how to get rescued however are moronic. You definitely never want to take the chances that he takes every episode. The only reason that he does these stunts is that he has a camera crew to help him at every turn. If you are by yourself and you get hurt you are pretty much done for. His stunts could get anyone killed even himself. I know that he has done all the stunts but if he were to make a mmistake he could die.
What Les  Stroud is doing on Survivorman is teaching you how to survive if you don't already know the way to go. You don't want to just go wandering off because you don't know where you are going or what you could run into. Hopefully if you are smart you have let somebody know where you are when you go to this place you are lost in anld they will try to get help to you when you don't return. Also for those of you who think that Les Stroud complains too much, you try going without food for days or good bedding and possibly being soaked to the bone and not complaining.
Survivorman is definitely the better show and for those of you who haven't seen it i definitely recommend watching it.
Man Vs. Wild FTW!
Definitely Survivorman. He actually survives by himself without a camera crew or anything to help him. The other guy just looks like dumb ass.
Man vs. Wild is more entertaining as it has a faster pace, but Survivor Man has a great deal more legitimacy to it. When either is on, I have to watch.
One of my favorite moments was when Bear made a "sheeping bag". Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. Friggin hysterical.
Since the question is whcih show is better, not which guy is not full of it, I'll go with Bear. He has better locations, more interesting insertions (let it go) and is generally a easier guy to watch. Still, even as manly as I think myself, they both kinda suck as entertainment.
Bear has a more entertaining show... but I can't stand watching it and going "So... how far is that highway behind you? 100 yards? Yeah, you're realllly lost."
I bring forth Exhibit A.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UpSlpvb1is
Survivorman. Bear has been shown to be recording at fake locations.
Les actually gets dropped into the middle of nowhere.