Friday, 28 August 2009
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Mancouch's take on the male version of the "fat friend"
Some of our male readers had great answers to the question "what is the male version of the fat friend"... so we thought we'd share.
IceCold4U was the first one to crack the code:
thedoubledeuces piled on with more:As Peter Griffin said, There is no such thing as fat man, only fat woman (or something along that line).
It's a double-standard, there is the groups with the "fat friend", and there's the group of guys...who are usually all the same size, or the fat friend is just not any less attractive then the rest. (I'm the biggest guy in my group, but still the most loved/charming of them, go figure)
No no no no... a couple of you got close to the answer of "what is the male version of the fat friend" .. but still, not completely answered.
I think Dane Cook described him best. -- The "Fuckin Brian's coming!" is the male version of the 'fat friend' ... He ... is always a bag of douche... no one really likes Brian. He's there because he's tolerable enough and usually makes a complete ass of himself in one way or another. Our fat friend has just enough input into the situation to keep him around, however when he leaves, he gets ripped on MERCILESSLY!
Like the 'fat friend' , the 'fuckin Brian's coming' usually makes the other guys look good, because he's typically to busy making a complete and total ass out of himself. If a guy is good, and on his game, he'll use that to his advantage. Let the 'fuckin Brian's coming' make an ass of himself while the other guy plays it low key and has a certain look of amused disdain on his face... just so that the girl across the way thinks we're cooler / calmer / less ass like.
'Fuckin brian's coming' typically brings a 6er of something and usually over stays his welcome (this all depending on the 'fbc' and the group of guys) but yes... our 'fat friend' is the 'fuckin Brian's coming'
And the reason that our "fat friend' is not simply just... a fat friend.. is because, its not horribly unheard of to see a smoking hot girl with a hoss of a guy. Luckily for us men, women don't necessarily place physical appearance at the top of their list, like we as men do. Typically the woman's fat friend is almost always single, however the fat guy that hangs out with us usually has just as good of a chance getting the girl as any of the other guy. It's all about the mentality behind the fat friend. Not size.
So basically, here's the Mancouch verdict:
- It's not really ok for girls to be bigger... but it's totally ok for guys.
- The male equivalent to be a big girl... is not a big guy. It's a douchebag.
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Comments (39)
Very well. Kudos.
Reminds me of certain people I dread seeing sometimes. "FML, ____ is coming."
what about fat wallet?? ehhh ;) most girls nowadays don't care if you're fat or skinny..as long as you got fat wallet...you're a keeper. :D
i personally prefer any guy that can lift me up...doesn't matter if you're fat or skinny.but if you can't give me a piggy back ride then you're outta hereeee :P@asdfghjkieu@xanga - Just don't find it amusing to choke me! =D
ahahaha nice.
@asdfghjkieu@xanga - so obviously, a guy in a wheel chair would be rejected because of something he couldn't control. :T..... what a harsh world we live in.
There's gonna be a fat woman out there who's going to unhinge her mouth and eat the douchebag who laughed that it's not okay for women to be a little bigger behind her back.
But anywho, very well thought out. I'd say that's the male version of the "fat friend."
@asdfghjkieu@xanga - Good thing you're not the fat friend. Then all the guys would be outta hereeee. Kinda gives new meaning to "piggy back" too.
Pretty much hit the nail on the head.
Too bad everybody's getting obese nowadays. I've seen enough skinny-fat ratio couples and it wasn't always skinny girl with fat guy. I've seen fat girl with skinny guy.
When fat girls date skinny guys, do you ever notice that these guys are always, like, sickly skinny?
It's like they're trying to compensate..both of them.
I think the man equivalent of the female's 'fat friend' would be the 'hopelessly nice' guy.
Everyone likes him..as a friend, he never has a girlfriend, and you never have to worry that he's going to steal your women.
@asdfghjkieu@xanga - I agree. I'll take a douchebag or a fat dude as long as he's got MONEY!!!
i was expecting this post to come with a peter "no fat chicks" picture. :D
This is pretty spot on. Because "female douchebags" aka "bitches" never have a problem getting laid. But the guy who is just a total train wreck... he MIGHT get laid if the girl hadn't gotten the chance to see him and his buffoonery beforehand.
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - too bad? its always been like this. but fat stories sell just as much as sex sells these days, obesity is mostly bullshit. there have always been fat asses... but now there are corporations whose sole income comes from fat people who dont care so they'll keep eating garbage, or fat people(or people who think theyre fat) who want to get thin so they buy and buy and buy all kinds of gadgets and pills and health food to try and "cure" their genetic predisposition.
Trust me. The "fat epidemic" isnt one at all. Kids are getting fatter sooner, but that might have more to do with hormones in food than them just being fat. If you think about it most people "back in the day" got fatter as they got older. Now that hormones are making bodies age a faster girls are getting boobs sooner and people who were going to be fat anyway are seeing that sooner as well... but thats just MY theory.
Plus if you're SO worried about it(like you seem to be) your brain is going to notice it a lot sooner than someone who doesn't have a hard-on for saying "everyone is fat now" and that just isnt true.
@snapeful@xanga - well...instead of him giving me a piggy back ride..i'll give him a stroll around the park! :)
rofl
@eyeslikeheaven@xanga - i agree. i once saw this fat girl and her boyfriend (i suppose?!) in the caf, and they were harsh sucking face. she looked like she was swallowing him, then after their horrid display of pda (for around 5 minutes, which is way too long already), she took the other half of his burger. yup.
hmm.. i think guys usually have a "short friend" but the "short friend" isn`t always necessarily single.
seems like a friend of a guy friend i know XD
@asdfghjkieu@xanga - i swear to god that was a wink at the end of your message. and then it stopped winking.
@eyeslikeheaven@xanga - I agree with your interpretation. The "too-nice" guy is like the fat friend, because everyone loves the fat friend, she's cool and great, and gets invited to all the parties, but at the party, she's the only one who doesn't get hit on. Same with the "too nice" guy. He's no douche, but he's just steady on that friend status, no one hits on him at the party, but he's totally invited.
hahahha you hit it right on the head...Congratulations! Shelby Stone....Cherry Picking Time by A1adultEbooks.com
Lol!
sounds about right.
This is so accurate, it's not even funny.
..Actually..it is.
- Kunoichi
Men can choose to be the asshole. The "fucking Brian's coming".
Fat women are just fat. There is little to no choice in it, I think.
Then again, a man is what he makes of himself. A woman is what we make of her. :/
That blows, lol.
lmao. i think i'm actually friends with a "brian"
@eomona@xanga - Everyone is friends with a Brian or a Karen. In my group of friends she's not fat. She's super annoying and we only hang out with her because 3 of us work with her and we live practically next door to their job. Ugh..
I'm not the biggest girl in my "group" but I'm up there. I'm not friends with them because I think I'll look better next to them. I'm friends with them because they are a great group of girls who I love dearly. We always have fun together no matter what we're doing. As far as the making fun of the "fat friend" that doesn't go on with us. We make fun of everyone in our group. No one's safe. So, I think this is clearly situational. As far as the "fat friend most likely being the single one"...I have a wonderful boyfriend and the other girl is married. The "skinny" girls are single...
Just putting my two cents in.