Sunday, 23 August 2009
-
I think... I think I might be a little on the misogynistic side
DISCLAIMER: There is no way I will seem like anything more than an a-hole after admitting this, but it has to be said.
I'd like to openly admit something: I think...I think I might be a little on the misogynistic side, to be honest. No, Paul, Mancouch has nothing at all to do with it. This is way before that.
I never really thought I'd have these thoughts. In fact any man that was misogynistic enough to hurt a woman's pride, I'd have a sudden urge to slug them. I used to be the type to be taught to respect women by my madre. I learned from the Beatles' school of love, romance, and sensitivity around them. I got so far as to be like the type of man who went with the flow. That was when I had girlfriends which, I'll admit, I can't bring myself to stop complaining about today. I used to dream of a specific woman and having a nice family or immaculate relationship with them. But over time, I find myself changing from that to not caring about women much, instead.
When I mention being misogynistic, I don't mean the type that goes against women's lib, either. Definitely, not that type. I mean, I lost interest in them emotionally, romantically,...not sexually, or course. I am one of those men that used to picture marriage, or going out on dates. But now I don't even do that anymore. I rarely think about any woman except bbrb22 and my friends, unless I felt a little horny. And you should ask my ratio of sexual fantasies to marriage fantasies now.
I started to think I was turning fully gay. I am pansexual, though, but I really believed that my hunger for women went down everytime a woman fails to go to a man to learn about men. In fact, I was annoyed by a few women I know and see. Every time women talk about men, every time a girl tries to defend her obviously no good boyfriend, I wonder why I even bother looking for dates with women.
As for sexuality, those who know me know I am not the get in, get off, get out type of man, so I would not pass as a swinger. The truth was the more I start to re-evaluate my relationships and friendships, the more I started to lose hope in women altogether. There was this emotional bully who had a dream of prince charming (completely ADD and pushy in the relationship), one woman who had more boyfriends and lays than I would ever guess, a co-dependent headcase who basically begged me to date her. Some little things they can do can ruin my belief in love and women like ketchup ruining a bowl of ice cream.
But the worst part is that it didn't stop there. Every time I would argue with a girl now, I find myself internally calling her an "incompetent little bitch" or an "inexplicably nefarious slut", if she happened to be the promiscuous type. I swear on my life I never used that type of language, till I had my feathers ruffled so harshly by my share of either loudmouth, ultrasensitive, or emotionally exhausting women friends and girlfriends. Excuse my being blunt.
Needless to say, these feelings I seem to have about some of them (keyword: some) give me the creeps. I wasn't always this aggressive, either. I used to live and let live, and love. So, I guess I can also render myself hypocritical, because I used to be the one who was sick of women talking sh*t about men.
I wonder, can any man say they have a misogynistic streak in themselves? And women, what are your thoughts on a man who socially respects women turning out to be misogynistic? (By the way, once I noticed this, I went to the college psychiatrist and told her everything, but summer was approaching and I never had time to really sort these things out. So, pardon my sour attitude.)
-
recommend
- recs 2
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Related Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to mancouch's Mancouch Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in mancouch's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (22)
I think we all have our confusions, our moral dilemmas, our character flaws. It's good of you to air these thoughts, give us all the chance to reflect upon them.
Really, I think you are making the same mistake most of us make all the time: Hasty generalization from a few examples to the whole category. I'm sure many women have done horrible things to you; but that does not mean that all women will behave the same way.
I think you need to learn to forgive and let go and realize that a few bad apples doesn't represent the entire tree. If you don't let go of the grudges you are holding against women because of your bad experiences you are going to screw yourself over when a good apple comes by. Or you won't even give the good apple a chance.
And ... dude.... trim your thumbnail. o.O
it's cool, i'm a misandrist. but hope springs eternal, no?
you just happened to know the wrong people, sorry chief.
don't let a few bad apples ruin the batch. It's easy to lose your faith in people after a few bad experiences. It takes strength and determination to continue to hold on to the ideals you had before.
Well, i'm a little on the misandrist side. I understand when you say you've lost interest emotionally, romantically, but not sexually. Perhaps (for me) more as a lost of interest in relationships all together. And it's not a self-mechanism to hide insecurities and hurt. That's silly. It's just how i ended up feeling. Though, i'm not so aggressive as you, i am blunt. But i never thought of it all as an issue, it's just my state of mind (currently at least).
I wonder if there's a word for being emotionally and romantically attracted but not sexually attracted to women for guys?
I guess that's where all the 40 year old guys on tv are when they have sex with little boys...lol.
*Shiver*
Just imagine every woman you encounter as a man with a wig and some implants. Problem solved!
If you are standing at the base of one side of a large mountain, you can only see that bit. That bit might be the side with shadow on it, it might be covered in fungus-y dead trees, spiders, bears, whatever. You might think the whole mountain looks that way, based on your view of the mountain. But in reality, the mountain is big, and there are all kinds of parts to it, and some are a lot more beautiful than others.
Basically, you have seen an unfortunate perspective of women, and because there is just one small you, and one huge amount of women in this world, that one perspective is all you can see, until you walk to a different part of the mountain - either up it, or around it, whatever, until you reach the sunny parts. Quite simply, you have been disillusioned by a good number of gosh awful experiences. But don't throw out the baby with the bath water, you'll find some decent dames out there, because they are out there. Lots of crazies, but lots of good ones.
A lot of girls scorn other girls too, so it's just not you :P!
I do believe that there are a lot of gems out there though, don't limit yourself to the bad apples. Find a new crowd.
@pnrj@xanga - @BranmacFeabhail@xanga - @BohemianLamb@xanga - Yeah, that's true. Thanks. I talked to some girls, and they made me believe a little more. I can always try not to take situations with women too seriously.
I've been going through more or less what you've described, on and off over the past two years or so. At times, it gets frustrating having your trust betrayed or your faith in the maturity of some of them, disappointed.
And if girls go through what you go through, you will quickly see a lot of them bashing on guys and being sympathized for it, far more often than will you see a guy do the same. He'll be deemed, as you've put it, mysogynistic.
I personally feel that equality has not yet been achieved - though it SHOULD be, it hasn't been yet. Women still have less power than men in the field of careers and finance, and men still have less power than women in social interations and especially dating. And in dating, people's hearts, emotionals, trust, etc., usually get more personally involved than in careers - thus the opposite ends of those loving emotions, like turmoil, frustration, etc, are a lot higher if something goes wrong. That's what draws more focus on it at times.I wish you good luck. Here's to hoping we find smart, decent ones, who aren't taken or lesbians. *clanks coffee mug*
Ah, it's okay.
I think a lot of people go through those phases. I'm sure it'll pass. Well, hopefully it'll pass.
the truth is girls will always disappoint us guys and we will always disappoint girls it's inevitable.
@Coffee_Kaioken@xanga - That I can sya is the messed up part and yet another double standard. A woman can diss us men, but we know it is not their fault, because we might have did some of the damage. Flip it around, and we are just plain crazy or misogynistic. Look at Eminem. He clearly has bad luck with women in the past, especially with Kim, and it ruined him and his faith in women.
To be on the fair side, though, I'm not anyone near Eminem's level. But you get what I mean, right? Anyway... (clinks mug)
I like an honest guy.....Shelby Stone.....Cherry Picking Time by A1Adultebooks.com
I totally went through what you are going through. . .well, i'm a girl and it was with guys. I could tell the whole sob story but I spent most of my teenage years being eaten by it. Anyways, no positive male role models = tough time finding a good bf. It's just like anything else though, I mean, when you fall off your bike you just gotta jump back on. And I found that part of the problem was with me. I didn't just hate guys, but girls too. HAHA. So I was like, maybe it's time for an attitude adjustment. So I stayed single for like a year. Then I went on a dating site and found an awesome dude (I never thought it would work but we've been together 1.5 years now yay!) Anyways, there are some psycho people out there, but patience is a virtue . . . and a strong ingredient involved in love. Anyways, good luck to you. At least you are keepin it real.
I'll refer to Avenue Q on this subject:
Everyone's A Little Bit Racist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbwNSNLPIfw&feature=related
just substitute sexist for racist.
@krispylicious@xanga - I agree.
Girls can get bitchy over petty things, dress like sluts because they think the only way to impress guys is to shove cleavage in their faces, and be impossible to communicate with. Every girl is guilty of at least one of these things [two of the three usually take turns throughout the month], but we all have our flaws. If a girl isn`t a downright drama diva or promiscuous, then there`s hope she has potential.
@TianaSuhdi@xanga - dude, i hate girls too, lol!
i don't think it's wrong to be a bit misogynist if that's all you've seen of women as of late. when people suck, they tend to suck pretty hard and it's a difficult thing to stand watching these people fail your standards. nonetheless, categorizing isn't a great thing to do. there are always different people than what you've seen in a category, but if you cut off a group now, you'll never meet them.
It's ok...I feel like I'm a bit on the misandrist side. I let one ex boyfriend ruin men for me, and even though I have an amazing boyfriend now, I still am super jaded and have a massive chip on my shoulder when it comes to men, and some women even. But you and I both know that we can't let a few idiots represent a whole group of people. Not everyone is like that, and I've finally found someone who treats me with the respect I deserve....you will too, just remember that she's out there and you need to keep an eye out!
That said though.....what's the big deal with a woman you date having lots of boyfriends or sexual partners before you? I don't think I need to tell you that expecting a girl to be inexperienced is a bit unrealistic and probably too much to ask nowadays. While we're on the subject of double standards...there's a prime example where you guys are in favour.