I love getting professional massages but I prefer not to get happy endings.
You'd figure, that's not an impossible request right? Somewhere in New York City, it should be possible to get a massage without having the masseuse attempt to offer to "finish" things off?
Sadly after several dozen professional massages over many years, I can only say that it is almost impossible not to get asked for a happy ending. I have been blatantly solicited at:
- The Russian and Turkish baths on 10th street(I figured a stout older Russian woman wouldn't offer... I was wrong.)
- A high-end massage parlor with fancy sauna and steamrooms in Midtown (much more attractive and younger masseuses here - that should've been a sign).
- Low end massage parlors located at third floor walkups (OK this one wasn't a surprise).
Only three times in my life have I not been solicited for a happy ending:
- Once in Aspen when a professional Licensed Massage Therapist (LMT) came over to my friend's place to give everyone massages.
- Once in Atlantic City at a very high end spa, where my friend paid an LMT $300 for each of us to get massages.
- Once in San Francisco when I got a deep tissue massage from a male LMT (Hmm, maybe that wasn't the best plan in retrospect.)
Basically the only way to avoid solicitation is to book an appointment with a Licensed Massage Therapist... they usually work in super high end spas or come to your home with a massage table. I don't have the money for super high end spas, and I don't like being alone with someone in my house that I don't know. So LMTs are kinda out for me.
But massage joints have their own foibles. I guess happy endings are so popular since almost nobody says no, and a $60 massage becomes a $80-$100 massage, in exchange for a few minute's "work". I just don't want one though. And anyone remember when 49er Jerry Rice was busted at a massage parlor known for happy endings and prostitution
? He claimed he was just there for a deep tissue massage, but nobody believed him. I didn't believe him either! But that could've been me at any massage place I've ever been... and nobody would have believed me either.
I love massages, but all the happy ending talk is sucking all the joy out of it for me.
Have you ever had a professional massage? Did you get offered a happy ending?