I love getting professional massages but I prefer not to get happy endings.
You'd figure, that's not an impossible request right? Somewhere in New York City, it should be possible to get a massage without having the masseuse attempt to offer to "finish" things off?
Sadly after several dozen professional massages over many years, I can only say that it is almost impossible not to get asked for a happy ending. I have been blatantly solicited at:
- The Russian and Turkish baths on 10th street(I figured a stout older Russian woman wouldn't offer... I was wrong.)
- A high-end massage parlor with fancy sauna and steamrooms in Midtown (much more attractive and younger masseuses here - that should've been a sign).
- Low end massage parlors located at third floor walkups (OK this one wasn't a surprise).
Only three times in my life have I not been solicited for a happy ending:
- Once in Aspen when a professional Licensed Massage Therapist (LMT) came over to my friend's place to give everyone massages.
- Once in Atlantic City at a very high end spa, where my friend paid an LMT $300 for each of us to get massages.
- Once in San Francisco when I got a deep tissue massage from a male LMT (Hmm, maybe that wasn't the best plan in retrospect.)
Basically the only way to avoid solicitation is to book an appointment with a Licensed Massage Therapist... they usually work in super high end spas or come to your home with a massage table. I don't have the money for super high end spas, and I don't like being alone with someone in my house that I don't know. So LMTs are kinda out for me.
But massage joints have their own foibles. I guess happy endings are so popular since almost nobody says no, and a $60 massage becomes a $80-$100 massage, in exchange for a few minute's "work". I just don't want one though. And anyone remember when 49er Jerry Rice was
busted at a massage parlor known for happy endings and prostitution? He claimed he was just there for a deep tissue massage, but nobody believed him. I didn't believe him either! But that could've been me at any massage place I've ever been... and nobody would have believed me either.
I love massages, but all the happy ending talk is sucking all the joy out of it for me.
Have you ever had a professional massage? Did you get offered a happy ending?
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Comments (33)
ew, seriously? that is so disgusting, i don't see why somebody would agree to that. that's an intimate thing, not for some stranger to do. D:
i've never had a massage. :'(
i always thought those were just offered at obscure, shady places. o_0 innneresting.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Hahaha, so did I!
as you imply, or rather explicitly point out, happy endings suck.
I have heard you want to avoid places that say "spa" to "day spa" and such, if it looks shady, it probably is.
If the government got its nose and grubby hands out of the lives of consenting adults you wouldn't have to guess at which massage place was legit because prostitution would no longer be in the black market.
I thought this whole "happy ending" I heard much about from massage parlors were only under the ones ran by gangs and stuff. I'd never knew it became a "thing" with the rest of the parlors. If I ever need a massage (probably not and/or in the near future), I'll pay for an LMT.
I was just talking about this with my brother. His girlfriend is a massage therapist and I accidentally called her a masseuse, which is when he corrected me, saying that "masseuse" now carries a negative connotation. "You know... happy endings and stuff." Yikes. "Massage therapist" from now on.
You all thought happy endings were just somethings that happen in steamy gross back alleys or in Thailand.. or imaginary jokes used in movies? Wow, you kids are so naive... its like you all use tv and movies to paint a portrait of reality for you. this world is a lot more fucked up than you think it is... and its nothing new. its ALWAYS been fucked up. We're just repressed(as a society) now and hide it a little better just so we can judge others. You'd all have aneurysms if you knew all of the questionable things YOUR OWN PARENTS have done that you don;t know about. Especially if you're an 80's baby like me and they were alive and of age during the 60's and 70's. I completely agree with @KevtheMoron@xanga Libertarians unite! If grown ass consenting adults want to pay another grown ass consenting adult to get off thats THEIR business. Not my thing, but it isnt my place to judge or condemn or spend tax money convicting people who want it.
You going to get a massage and then having the masseuse offer a happy ending and you being offended is equivalent to someone going to a bar to have a good time and being offended when there are drunk people there. Or going to a live music festival of your favorite band WHO HAS questionable lyrics about sex and drugs(but you love them anyway) and complaining about seeing kids smoke weed and girls run around with their tops off as if you're better than them. These people get paid SHIT. They have to spend money to go to school to learn how rub and feel you up when they are probably repulsed by the idea of touching most of the clients anyway.. clients who use massage therapy as a guise to bust a nut without fear of cops or STDs. So in THAT respect its already fucking gross that you have a "thing" about getting lots and lots and lots of massages. So when they ask you for extra services they're only looking to take advantage of an industry taking advantage of them already and make some extra money on the side.
Whats wrong with you just saying no thank you? How is that any different than her just coming from giving a two fisted hand job to some gross businessman on lunch break, washing her hands, then coming to give you a massage and not even inquiring if you want the same thing? What? You not knowing she did it? At a lot of these "respectable" places, clients will call in ahead of time and set it up before they even get there that they want release so the awkward asking strangers if they want it part is avoided. When I was working at a local newspaper 3 different parlors were shut down because of the happy ending... by cops... who were on the government payroll getting hj's as a "sting" operation... so who is the more seedy? The parlor who was jacking off cops(they didnt stop them, they went back several times) and then got busted, or the cops?
All asshole-ishness aside; I see why you might be a skived-out by some broad asking if you want to pay her extra to juggle your nonos, but you just running up into any old massage parlor(you're clearly a connoisseur) without doing your research first kinda makes YOU seem skivy in return. Take the time, do your homework and all of this can be avoided. You running around to get massages at any old place adds a little creep factor to your OWN situation, is what Im saying.
I've gotten a massage at a parlor, but not before after asking around and looking online about what type of place it is, who's been there, do they have any cases with the better business bureau are they clean are they accredited.. ect ect. Just running up in a place and grabbing a massage seems really odd to me. I wouldn't just run up in a salon and have someone cut my hair without checking them out first... and thats just my hair. This is your body and possible good name we're talking about. Again, im not condemning you, you SHOULD be able to go anywhere anytime and get a legitimate massage without asking if you want your cork popped.. but with it happening ONCE; I would assume you'd be a little less "green" about it and be as professional as you're looking for the establishment to be.
All my replies seem like nasty mean tirades around here. Thats(normally)not my intentions, I assure you. I wish this place had jumps or LJ-cuts so whomever wanted to read it could, and if not they wouldn't have to be bothered with all the scrolling.
So happy endings are when those people help you jack off or are they actually having sex with you?
I really don't get it, lol. :S
@Lil_Dude433@xanga - its whatever you let it be normally. In most cases its just a handjob, in other cases it might be a topless hand-job, in OTHER cases its them using their whole body to massage you... this is all speculation because i dont even like having to pay for a girl's diner because it feesl like im buying her so im DEF not going to pay any chick to do THAT.
There are many variables. Head over to the nerve.com blogs. This topic is right up their alley :D
@erahslover@xanga - Ahhh...explicit stuff, doubt I'm allowed entry anyways.
I'll wait a few years before poaching this subject again.
i got a massage once from a chinese lady who wasn't a LMT. not only did she do a horrible job (she was just tapping my back with her fingertips), she didn't even offer a happy ending.
all joking aside, i rather pay more for a LMT. cheap massages aren't worth the money saved.
My guy hated telling his friends I was a massage therapist because they would always make the comments about happy endings. Then his mom told him to go get one so he could understand what it was like. It really broke my heart. He didn't like any mention of me giving him one because it reminded him of me touching other men. So in a way, he was cheating by his own standards. It also means I am forever compared to this other woman's technique. I never want to hear about his experience. And I won't be giving him a massage. It's like he cut off my hands. I didn't get to give him that first professional massage experience. The saddest part was that this all happened after I got injured in a few wrecks. He could have traded sensual massages with me; he could have paid for me to have a spa treatment for the birthday he trashed over my profession. Instead, he left me in physical pain. Because he felt bad about things- jealous and insecure. He could have read the pain in me and responded.
If your SO gives massages, you have to be fairly secure in your relationship to not feel jealous. Most LMT's are not aroused by seeing their clients nude or partially so. It is just a job. No different than the Doctor who has to check your prostate, or the Gynecologist who has to examine your vagina. You detach the person from the body, and it is just a piece of equipment that needs checked or tuned up.
Over time, if I were into massages, I would try different spas and LMT's until I found one that gave me a good massage for the $$. Obviously if you are looking for a "happy ending" you can find it, if you look long enough. You risk getting caught in a sting tho, since it is illegal in most areas. There goes your reputation. Why risk it? Find a nice LMT, date her, and when things get intimate, she can give you your private massages with whatever ending you want, no risk.
I have never been offered a happy ending involving a massage.
Wow, I guess I was pretty naive in thinking that most massages are just that...massages. With no happy endings. But now it makes sense. I've only had one massage and I probably wouldn't again because I'm so ticklish I couldn't stop squirming and it definitely wasn't relaxing.
@erahslover@xanga - that was quite the rant...haha
@Coke0@xanga - yeah it was :D i get out of control easy around here. It just boils my blood when younger people(or all people) choose to be close minded and shut themselves off from the rest of the world... though that sounds extreme; its true. Its like unless something happens to - or effects them directly, they have absolutely no knowledge of it. As if its trendy to be ignorant.
@BunnyHu@xanga - thats really horrible. im sorry you had to go through that.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Same, hahaha.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I agree. I didn't know that it was that common.
I've had a couple massages but have not been offered a "happy ending", but that could be because one of them was a sports med guy, and the other was a respectable spa.
People gotta make money and people gotta get off. If I knew a girl who gave happy endings, I wouldn't care & if I know a guy who had gotten one I wouldn't care. The majority of people here didn't even realize it was happening, so you can't get too upset. Jack away!
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wow :O
never realised =x
id love to get a massage
not keen on the happy ending thing either though ill admit =x
shit that would make my day for a fine ass girl to have her hands all over me to give me a deep tissue massage but ive heard of the happy ending???? dont know what it is but i think the happy ending part would be where i give u what i owe u and then get dressed and leave but thats just me i mean it would be nice to get her number but like every chick i ever met that gave me their number i dont call them at all for me its a waste of time